Hello, random(?) person looking at my page. Enjoy your stay, just don't...touch anything.
Featuring Jasper Gleamdust and Mr. Philbert Dovahbitts
Lets see, where was I?
Oh yes, freezing to death in a lake, I remember now. Actually I don't remember now, or as I should say, I don't remember how, but as this is very embarrassing, I'll pretend like I do. As Skyrim is very cold though, and night time is very cold, and rain is very cold, and water is very cold, and winter is very cold, and right now it is raining in a lake in the winter of Skyrim at night, so I am certifiably very frapping cold. I see the glow of a campfire on the shore, so I swim over there to warm up.
I encounter this nice lady, who immediately tells me she's a poacher. I don't mind, since she's only poaching from Imperial bastards. She also mentioned that "There's enough for all of us if you aren't greedy."
Naturally, I took this as permission to loot her camp.
After stealing some Pot, I was on my way back to Whiterun. I met an elf named Faldrus along the way, I was about to pickpocket him, when I heard a screech and a crash. I look to the side just in time to see a building explode, and a smoke trail leading up into the sky.
That's no kidney stone, that's from SPACE! And it has Pi! 256 bit Pi from SPACE!
Well, if this isn't just the best thing since Dovahbit. I will take it with me and love it forever.
The rain ends, and I have a very pretty trek back to Whiterun.
Once in the Jarl's place, I bring the Dragon Claw McGuffin thing to Mr. Guffin, but he won't stop banging on about dragons and fascinating ancient stuff. I'm not even being sarcastic, it really was interesting, so interesting in fact I wrote a whole essay on it. I'd post the essay here, but I'm too lazy to type what I already inked onto parchment, so instead here's another picture of Dovahbitts:
What's this, there's a dragon to battle? Awesome, I'll hop to it. First the Jarl had a gift for me. Unfortunately it wasn't shrooms, but it'll probably be useful all the same.
This dragon won't know what hit it. Time for some high-flying adventure, time to show the dragon's who's boss, time to- woah, watch it kid, almost tripped over you there.
Fine, have some gold, just get out of my way. Wait, what's this about your mother? You don't... have a mother? You're an orphan? That's... that's terrible! Oh cruel injustices of the world, orphaning a nice young girl like Lucia. You can live with me, in- oh wait, I don't have a home. As if I didn't feel sad enough. Wait, do I have a mother either? Or a father? Do I have any family at all, or am I an orphan, just like Lucia? Was it destiny that brought us together? Was it Rolof? Wait, what am I doing thinking about myself at a time like this, there's a child in need! I'll come back, Lucia, and I'll bring a house with me! I'll plant it right in Whiterun and we'll rule the land! Mark my words, I will return!
But first I need to slay a dragon. How does one slay a dragon, you wonder?
The Dragon named Murmulnir just ate Hroki and Tor. I see what you did there.
Just as planned, it didn't see the goat coming! Honestly though I don't think it saw it at all, so I ended up just shooting it with a lot of arrows. But hey, whatever works.
Because slaying the mighty beast wasn't enough, I drove my blade into its body and rummaged through it's stomach, and found all kinds of fun remains. After putting on some armor I found INSIDE of it, I DEVOURED ITS SOUL. Just how metal is that.
My Whiterun comrades find this a little odd though, so I shout at them a little bit and head on back to the city. Or town, or whatever Whiterun is classified as. Once there, I run into some blokes saying they're looking for a woman. I point them at the terrifying Companions HQ, before slipping away and into the local Tavern. I completely forgot why I was going there though, as the roof shakes and I hear a loud booming voice speak to me. A divine message from the gods, I figure it must be. What could it be? Chastising me on my kleptomania? Commending me for my work against the Imperial bastards? Haven't the foggiest, I am rather ignorant to the gods and goddesses of Tamriel.
Oh wait, this is blasphemy, this is madness! What's the one divine name I kept hearing screamed from the streets of Whiterun? Talos. I quickly run back outside and make my way to the familiar place where that priest is usually loitering about. He's gone, but in his place...
Because I'm sure the gods dictated that it be so, I remove all the offerings. For science.
Back to the Jarl's place, we have a lovely chat about destiny and badassary, and he hooks me up with this gal named Lydia. Sweet, now I've got a servant, a Space Pi Core, and a Dovahbitts. Just a few more and I can start my own band. Unfortunately the band may have to wait, Destiny calls, or so the Jarl tells me.
Climbing seven thousand steps.
Ha-haha, screw that!
Featuring Jasper Gleamdust and Mr. Philbert Dovahbitts
First order of business in this new morning, pilfer everything and everything in the Jarl's home. Why? Because sleep is for pansies, and I am a woman of my word. Also, Dovahbit, or as I renamed him, Mr. Philbert Dovahbitts(Rolof for short, because his full name's a mouthful), since he's not just *A* Dovahbit anymore, he is MY Dovabit!
It was all goin' great, I was bonding with Dovahbitts, we were stealing all kinds of useless junk(Plus some delicious taffy and a gemstone!), but then somebody spotted me. Bloody guards... thankfully the Stormcloaks like me though, so he said I could just pay him 25 credits and go about my business. Seemed polite enough, so I did just that.
Of course, the moment he turned his back I went ahead and pick-pocketed him and took that money back. Wow, I never realized I could pickpocket. Eager to test my newfound abilities, I turned my kleptomania on the next person I saw, the maid.
Unfortunately, this maid is very observant, and the next thing I know, I'm-
-standing in a jail cell with a naked dead guy. Ew. I can either sleep through my sentence, or try and break out. Ha. And the game said I had a choice. Naturally, being the resourceful gal that I am, I'm hiding a lockpick on my person, and I open the conveniently located grate on the floor, and drop into the sewers. Now it's just a simply matter of sneaking out, not being seen, and-
THEY HAVE SHROOMS IN THE SEWERS, OH MIGHTY BEARD OF TALOS I NEEDED THIS. I eat one, store the rest for later, and bam, next thing I know I'm back on the streets of Whiterun. Shrooms work in glorious ways. Of course, I'm practically naked on the streets, and this just won't do, so I swing back to the prison to recover my stuff.
With a quick stop by the Jarl's home, of course. Back down in the prison, the guards don't seem to be bothered by my presence, nor my empty cell. Or maybe they're just too distracted by the cuteness of Dovahbitts.
I find the room with the evidence chest and all my stuff, stolen and legit, but they're under lock and guard. The locks, not a problem, I nicked some more lockpicks on my way here, but the guard behind the desk was a bit of a problem. Initiating Operation: Diversion by Rabbit.
It worked, but not for long enough, he could still see me if I got near those boxes.
Next, I figured I'd wait him out. A guy's gotta go to the bathroom eventually.
On second thought, screw this, sitting here's boring. Time to try something I learned at Rolof's house...
Even from afar, Rolof helps me now, in my situation of need! With Guard 1 unable to see, and Guard 2 unwilling to help him, I am free to unlock and take everything from those boxes. Now with my possessions back, I loot his desk, for good measure.
Come along Dovahbitts, time to go outside, and get back to being free elves and bunnies!
What's that you found, Dovahbitts? Don't touch it, it's probably-
SHROOMS AS BIG AS MY FACE. Of course I'm going to eat these!
These shrooms are some hot shit, I'm seriously blazin' here! I'll trail blaze while I blaze! I'll blaze like I've never blazed before!
After some more traipsing through the tomb, I finally came off my high just in time for a scene of Jasper and the Argonauts.
Okay, killing more skeletons, rat-dog things, I Indiana Jones'd through an ancient door, I killed the King Argonaut, or whatever he was, I learned some magic thing that I can't use yet, I-
Yes, shrooms. No, I didn't eat any. Yes, of course I picked them, saving them for later. I actually showed a lot of self-restraint on this Day, considering how many shrooms were in this cave.
Aw man, I am gonna have such a party someday with all these shrooms I'm collecting.
Wait, what's this? The game's suddenly talking nonsense after I pick up my umpteenth shroom. Carrying too much to walk?
One pound over the limit? Well, okay, no biggie. Obviously I deal with this like any logical person would.
What happens next? Does our hero overcome her shroom addiction and kleptomania? Does she return to Mr. Guffin with the McGuffin and save the realm from dragons?
I'unno. I'll have to tell you in the morning. The morning of Miss Gleamdust's fourth day in the madhouse that is Skyrim.
Featuring Jasper Gleamdust
Here I am on day two of my grand adventure, off on my way to Whiterun! Why? Because Rolof told me to, and he's like a boss to me. It sounds important enough, so I choose the fastest route to Whiterun, and- hang on, is that
Oh God it is.
Elves love shrooms.
Not exactly sure how this happened or how I got here, but one moment late-night shrooms, next I'm levitating a chicken around my head early in the morning. Oh well, shit happens. First order of business, find out where I am.
First shrooms, now booze! Hell yeah, my quest to... what's my quest again... eh, I'll figure it out later, but my quest to Do Something is off to a smashing start, for sure.
So after drinking some booze, stealing some pot,
And some everything else,
I am finally ready to continue my journey to Whiterun. Of course, I'm already in Whiterun, but I didn't know that at the time, and didn't find out about it till I'd already drunkenly stumbled into a stable someplace. The horses were free, or at least I think they were, no one was around to ask, so I hopped on one and rode off to find my destiny.
As I mentioned, I soon find out that my destiny, aka, Whiterun, is actually right behind me. So I end up going in a big loop about the shape of a horseshoe(That's probably symbolic of something), and find myself back in Whiterun. Rolof would be so proud. Uh, so it's probably the alcohol, but I can't for the life of me remember who I'm supposed to talk to. I decided to ask a random blacksmith lady if she knew.
She didn't, in fact she wouldn't even turn around to look at me, but she did give me lots of free shit and tell me how to make other free shit with the free shit, which was pretty nice. She taught me how to do shit with anvils, forges, tanner thingies, you name it, and then at the end, she said I could keep the shit I made! Talk about a good deal. Or at least it would be a good deal, unfortunately all the stuff I made was shit, so I sold it all to her for a few hundred gold coins and went on my way. Oh well, it's the thought that counts.
After blowing half my newly acquired purse on booze, I stopped by a building housing a group called "The Companions."
Naturally, I pilfer a bunch of stuff, and after a dozen people telling me what to do or not do, someone says they want to train me. Alright, I say, with a nice name like "The Companions," how bad could it be?
All notions that this was a brothel are washed away in a crimson river as I spill my sixth gallon of blood or so, because Holy Daedric Excrement, these people are EXTREME! "Join us," they say.
After clearing that place faster than I clear a building of its valuables, I finally find the man I came here to talk to, the Jarl of Whiterun.
The Jarl's a pretty chill dude, we talk about dragons, magic, Imperial bastards, I'm supposed to find a claw or something in some ruin somewhere, I don't really know, because something far more important than the land of Skyrim came up, regarding the Jarl...
Rolof was right. It was destiny that I travel to Whiterun, that I talk to the Jarl! Everything in my life has lead into this moment. Oh yes... You and I, Dovahbit, we are going to have a lot of fun together...
Not sure if anyone here's ever heard of it, but there's this little off-the-beaten-path RPG called "Skyrim," apparently the fifth in a long series or something. I saw it on the Steam Summer Sale, thought it looked pretty decent, and decided to give it plus some mods a shot.
Featuring Mr. Silent, Deaf, Mute, and Invisible but-still-totally-badass Protagonist.
To start things out, I'm a formless being with a backside glued to a bench on a wagon, with three other tough-looking guys, on our way to parts unknown. Unknown to me anyway, my prisoner mates, as I soon find out they are, inform me we're all on our way to be executed. Ouch. Grim stuff already.
We reach the end of the line, and Mr. Silent, Mute, and Invisible but-no-longer-deaf(I figured out how to turn my sound back on) Protagonist follows Rolof and co. out of the wagon. Ride's over, time's up, this is shaping up to be a really short game. So, I step up to have my non-existent head removed from my body, when-
Well, this is awkward... let me just restart.
Featuring Jasper Gleamdust
Now as the fabulously attractive dark-elf Jasper Gleamdust(Absolutely no relation or connection to the Dawnbreaker Jedi of the same name), I find myself with a renewed motivation to keep my beautiful neck intact. You Imperial bastards can't even name a crime I'm committed! Well, let me tell you, when I'm through with you you'll have a whole BIBLE full of real crimes I've committed against you! Truth be told, I was so pissed at these Imperial bastards that I almost lost it and murderized them all in a rage of elf-ninja-powers. I probably would have, if not for the calming presence of my mate Rolof.
Wait, did I say dragon?
So this dragon shows up and starts frying all those Imperial bastards, like a boss. Me and my Stormcloak comrades make a run for it while cackling insanely about how awesome this dragon is. Or at least I was cackling, Rolof, bless his heart, was still doing that cold, silent-type routine.
At some point I somehow end up with one of those Imperial bastards, and I quietly inform him that I will kill him as soon as my hands are unbound, as apparently my teeth just won't cut it. Very quietly as it turns out, since while I may have a fabulous face and a gender-missleading name, I am unfortunately still a dumb mute. It isn't long before good ol' Rolof shows up again, and whisks me away from that Imperial bastard. Then just as a further testament to what a great guy he is, we get inside, he cuts my bonds, then we both proceed to strip some of his dead Stormcloak compatriots naked. It was a bonding experience, really.
A bonding experience that was interrupted, since all Imperial bastards know how to do is ruin a good thing. Clever ploy on their part, but ultimately in vain. We took that intended interruption, turned it around, and smacked it back in their faces, in the form of turning it into another healthy bonding experience.
He said crouch and hide, I said...
actually I have no idea what I said, it was all sort of a blur of blood and axes, and when it was over, I had my first taste of Imperial Bastard Blood(Henceforth to be known as IBB) on my tongue. It felt good, but the feeling was fleeting at best, as Rolof apparently did not feel the same way. That's what I gathered anyway, as he did not speak to me or move again.
It made me very sad. Those Imperial bastards probably engineered this glitch. With a heavy heart, I continued onward without Rolof, in the hope that he'd meet me later.
He didn't. I made my way all the way to the exit, yet there was no Rolof in site. While it was delightful taking in the first breath of non-tainted Skyrim, it was hard to enjoy the moment.
Or at least it WAS hard to enjoy, until I received a quest out of thin air with directions to Rolof's sister's home! Ha! Take that you Imperial bastards, you can glitch out the game but you can't glitch out Rolof!
Once again feeling super-jazzed, a ran all the way to the quest marker and stepped inside...
...and right into the most awkward dinner conversation I've ever experienced. Maybe Rolof isn't as cool a guy as I'd thought. So much staring, it was a game of chicken, one Rolof's sister finally lost, when she retreated to her bed. Now, obviously she lost, and of course, as we all know, in civilized societies, when someone loses that means the winner gets all the loser's stuff. So while she was sleeping, I proceeded to take all of her belongings, in and off of dressers, off shelves, out of cupboards... only problem was their house guest sitting in the corner, I mean who the heck is he? I dunno, but he was giving me funny looks and acting all suspicious, so
After sleeping with Rolof's sister(There was ample room for two, don't give me that look, you perv), and organizing all their food into a basket on the floor, I finally decided to wake up and talk to the sister wench. She gave me directions, I bade Rolof farewell, and away I went to seek my fortune.
While wearing this fabulous hat Rolof's sister gave to me. Well, she left it on her nightstand anyway, I assume it was there for me.
A few days ago I was cleaning through my mod folders, and found a simple, single player Jedi Outcast mod that I downloaded years ago but never played. Upon further investigation I discovered that I actually know the mod creator quite well(Though I didn't back when I downloaded it). Anyway, so I decided to play through it, and while it was loading, I thought to myself, "What the hell, I'll record it".
And thus, my first ever Lets Play:
It's a three-video playlist, which is about thirty two minutes total. Anyway, it's a fairly simple conversion mod, but I found the new weapons to be a lot of fun to play with. And I've only ever played Jedi Outcast once, so I didn't remember the levels all that well.
Enjoy! Or don't. Up to you.
Yay, I'm sick. Don't want to mod...Should be modding...
Maybe I'll just play more Just Cause 2 while listening to the Drunk Tank...Yeah...I'll do that...
Now, I will leave you all with a video showcasing gaming's highest quality, and most realistic in-game physics ever recorded:
I know, I'm a few days late, but HAPPY NEW YEAR anyway!
2011 pasted really quick it seems...Even quicker than usual. It was a pretty good year for my real life, and a not-so-good one for my internet life. I hardly got any modding done whatsoever...But on the plus side, I played some really great games this year, like Half-Life, Mass Effect, Just Cause 2, Batman Arkham City, ect. And I also accidentally got myself into a role-playing project called Dawnbreaker, which is loads of fun, if not for the fact that it soaks up massive amounts of time.
Now, time for recaps, lists, and resolutions, all of which are in no particular order.
I played every Half-Life game in order of release except for Decay. Half-Life is now my favorite shooter franchise.
This game...Is awesome. It had a very Knights of the Old Republic feel, which is good, because KotOR is my favorite game ever. I hope to play Mass Effect 2 this year, and later, Mass Effect 3.
I got this as a Christmas present, and man, it is INSANE.
BioWare's first RPGs, if I remember correctly. I played them co-op LAN with my sister this year. Great games.
This game really took me by surprise. I'd heard the name several times before, and I finally looked it up sometime in 2010, and found it got really, really good reviews. A super hero game being good? How can this be? So I just made a mental note to check it out sometime, then half a year later, I finally played it. I loved it so much, Arkham City became my most wanted game of 2011. The gameplay, music, voice acting, were all fantastic.
Free roaming, fast paced driving around on a very breakable island never gets old. Ever.
You can destroy anything. Nuff' said.
Definitely my game of the year. Met and surpassed all my expectations, and was completely awesome while doing it. HIGHLY recommended!
The characters, story, atmosphere, music, were all perfect in this game. The single-player campaign is pretty straightforward and easy, but the co-op mode is there for those of you looking for more of a challenge.
This game is really, really fun to play with friends. One of my favorite co-op games.
At first it looks like a 2d minecraft, but it is very much it's own game. Minecraft is about survival, building, and creativity. Terraria is about exploration, combat, rewards, and survival. Sure you can be creative and build huge castles in Terraria, but it's a lot more fun in Minecraft. Just like exploration and combat is a lot more fun in Terraria than in Minecraft. So yeah, I recommend both games, but all in all I prefer Minecraft.
Despite officially releasing this year, Minecraft does not make it on this list because I've been playing it since 2010.
I sadly didn't play many mods this year, but I did play quite a few good ones, such as...
First HL2 mod I played. New gameplay and maps were very well done, and I look forward to part 2(Or 1, depending on how you look at it).
Fascinating mod...I will say no more until you go play it. Do it. If you have Half-Life 2, you should really download this mod.
One of the best Mount & Blade mods I've ever played, and, it's Lord of the Rings! Can't get much better than that.
A Jedi Academy mod that replaces the saber system with a new and improved one, which blocks, parries, special moves, ect. There's actually a lot to the mod, which surprised me at first. Definitely worth a look.
All still very WIP, but also very fun. Modern guns in a Star Wars game...Yea...It's pretty sweet.
I don't think I've ever made a New Years Resolution before this year...But this time I actually have a good one. Or rather, two.
1. I will finish ALL of my mod projects.
(STOP laughing, I haven't finished yet)
2. Any mod that I do NOT finish by the end of the year, I will abandon and never return to.
Here are my reasons:
1. During 2011, I was bogged down in so many projects, that I ended up hardly working on any of them, and none of them were getting the attention they deserved.
2. I've had this game idea for almost four years now, it was actually the reason I got into modding. Last year I finally got some serious planning done, and I now have pages and pages of character info, detailed gameplay info, scripts, plotlines, a couple pecies of concept art, ect. But all my other mods were holding me back from starting real development. When 2013 comes along, I want to be working on one game, and only one game.
3. Why don't I just drop my current projects and get to work immediately on my game you ask? Well...In the case of a couple projects, they aren't even mine, I'm just helping. And until I get a couple things finished, I feel like I shouldn't leave. In the case of my solo projects, like Return of the Sith...Well, call it some kind of stupid pride, but there are WAY too many dead mods floating around, and I don't want any of my mods to ever be "added to the pile". Because I announced it and made a page for it, I feel obligated to finish it. So, 2012 is my final deadline so to speak. It is the last chance I'm giving myself to finish everything.
First, I will work on Jedi Betrayal until the demo is released.
After the JKB demo is released, I will work on my Tales of a Forgotten Realm module, until it is done. Then, I will work on Return of the Sith and Jedi Betrayal. How will that turn out? Who knows! We'll have to wait and see. I'm fairly sure that I'll be able to at the very least finish two of them though.
Well...I think that's it...Thanks for reading, and have a good 2012!
I was completely blown away by the awesomeness of Arkham City, and then I was lucky enough to win a boxed copy of the sequel when it comes out. Only a month away now...I can hardly wait!
EDIT: NOOOOOOOO! Delayed to November?! ... *.' ... Hopefully it's just to polish the game even more...*Crosses fingers*
EDIT 2: Delayed AGAIN?! ....Grr.....
Open world: Check.
Blood and gore: Check.
Blades and decapitation: Check.
What's not to love?
So, the reviews have come in. Some people hate it, some people love it, but most people just seem to call it "OK", or "Good". Doesn't make a difference to me, as I was going to wait for an under-30$ sale anyway, and I still plan to.
I'm a big Lord of the Rings fan, and action games are one of my favorite gameplay styles, and co-op is probably the most fun I ever have in gaming, so I'm really hoping they do a good job on this game. The reason I have it beneath RAGE, is because the pessimistic side of me expects it to be badly made. Still, I've liked most of what I've seen so far, and definitely look forward to its release.
Reviews have come in, and like Skyrim, it's pretty much what I expected. From the trailers and info, I guessed this game would be somewhat above average, but still not great. Too bad, this game could have been really awesome.
...Need I say more?
Yes, I admit it. I am looking forward to Skyrim, despite not enjoying or finishing Oblivion. Skyrim just looks like so much fun! Still, I'll wait for a sale before getting it, because I just don't "Trust" it to be good.
Reviews have come in, and it's just about what I expected - Oblivion, only better. It sounds like it still has the biggest problem(IMO) that Oblivion had, and that would be the lack of characters with personalities, and dialogue. I still plan to get it someday, most likely in a few years when it's cheaper. Or during a Steam sale, which ever comes first, as long as it's under 30$.
I bought it during alpha, and I've been playing ever since, to the end of alpha, through beta, and now it's going to finally be released as 1.0! I haven't played any of the 1.9 pre-releases, so this should be fun :D