DAKARI'S ADVENTURES IN SKYRIM
Featuring Jasper Gleamdust
DAY TWO
Here I am on day two of my grand adventure, off on my way to Whiterun! Why? Because Rolof told me to, and he's like a boss to me. It sounds important enough, so I choose the fastest route to Whiterun, and- hang on, is that
Shrooms!
Oh God it is.
Shrooms.
Elves love shrooms.
Wat.
Not exactly sure how this happened or how I got here, but one moment late-night shrooms, next I'm levitating a chicken around my head early in the morning. Oh well, shit happens. First order of business, find out where I am.
And I thought this day couldn't get any better!
First shrooms, now booze! Hell yeah, my quest to... what's my quest again... eh, I'll figure it out later, but my quest to Do Something is off to a smashing start, for sure.
Nice to meet you, buddy.
Nice to meat you, too.
So after drinking some booze, stealing some pot,
And some everything else,
I am finally ready to continue my journey to Whiterun. Of course, I'm already in Whiterun, but I didn't know that at the time, and didn't find out about it till I'd already drunkenly stumbled into a stable someplace. The horses were free, or at least I think they were, no one was around to ask, so I hopped on one and rode off to find my destiny.
I think I'll name him Rolof.
As I mentioned, I soon find out that my destiny, aka, Whiterun, is actually right behind me. So I end up going in a big loop about the shape of a horseshoe(That's probably symbolic of something), and find myself back in Whiterun. Rolof would be so proud. Uh, so it's probably the alcohol, but I can't for the life of me remember who I'm supposed to talk to. I decided to ask a random blacksmith lady if she knew.
She didn't, in fact she wouldn't even turn around to look at me, but she did give me lots of free shit and tell me how to make other free shit with the free shit, which was pretty nice. She taught me how to do shit with anvils, forges, tanner thingies, you name it, and then at the end, she said I could keep the shit I made! Talk about a good deal. Or at least it would be a good deal, unfortunately all the stuff I made was shit, so I sold it all to her for a few hundred gold coins and went on my way. Oh well, it's the thought that counts.
After blowing half my newly acquired purse on booze, I stopped by a building housing a group called "The Companions."
Milk Drinker. I gotcha.
Naturally, I pilfer a bunch of stuff, and after a dozen people telling me what to do or not do, someone says they want to train me. Alright, I say, with a nice name like "The Companions," how bad could it be?
This is TRAINING?!
All notions that this was a brothel are washed away in a crimson river as I spill my sixth gallon of blood or so, because Holy Daedric Excrement, these people are EXTREME! "Join us," they say.
NOPE
After clearing that place faster than I clear a building of its valuables, I finally find the man I came here to talk to, the Jarl of Whiterun.
Of course I am, I'm an honest criminal. For example, as soon as we're finished with this conversation, I'm going to raid your room and any other room I can find here.
The Jarl's a pretty chill dude, we talk about dragons, magic, Imperial bastards, I'm supposed to find a claw or something in some ruin somewhere, I don't really know, because something far more important than the land of Skyrim came up, regarding the Jarl...
HE HAS A DOVAHBIT.
A DOVAHBIT THAT LIKES DOING THINGS.
Rolof was right. It was destiny that I travel to Whiterun, that I talk to the Jarl! Everything in my life has lead into this moment. Oh yes... You and I, Dovahbit, we are going to have a lot of fun together...
