exanity

0 comments by exanity on Jul 1st, 2009 digg this super bookmark

Well, I graduated from college a couple of weeks ago, and I am home again until I get my goals and task in order. I must say, I learned a lot in college, but it’s funny how none of my work really reflects that. I have a lot to prove to myself in the coming weeks. There are a lot of projects that I did not finish, and they need my attention. I have always wanted to learn so much about everything, and tech knowledge is such an addiction for me at the wrong times. Lol, jack of all trades and master of none. College for me was like walking into a candy store filled with knowledge. I would try a little bit of this and then drop that to try something else. I did not really choose a path until the very end almost. I felt like I could do everything given a little time, so it was hard for me to do anything one thing for long.

I am ecstatic, but also saddened at the same time while I sit in my old room typing this. I don’t want to be at home forever, I won’t accept that. I think I am even more saddened by the fact that I never really completed a project in college that used the full extent of my knowledge and my time. Actually, for a while there in college I lost my passion to create. I was so concerned with the future and getting a job. I just sort of hit a wall for a long time, but then somehow I stopped caring about my future so much towards the end. I then realized that I just wanted to create beautiful interactive worlds, or at least help to make them no matter what. I slowly got my passion back for creating for myself and the moment, along with my curiosity about the knowledge of all things technological. I think that will forever be a struggle to focus on just learning one thing at a time. I just have to learn how to organize my time better, and dedicate most of it to game development. Everything about computers and art amazes me, and how they effect people. How they present door ways to people who otherwise thought that they had no where else to go. Unfortunately time, money, and many other resources are required to fall into a deeper understanding of them, and student loans wait for no one. haha Maybe one day I will be able to dedicate more time to learning about them, and maybe even return to school to gather a more expansive knowledge on both of them? Presently though, I have been given the task of utilizing the knowledge that I have gathered in the last four years of my life. I have to show myself that I am capable of finishing projects to the satisfactory level of my own high standards. I will work hard in the next couple of weeks, until I am satisfied with my projects, and hopefully others will be to. I will then worry about a job afterwards. Currently I feel that I would not be of great use to anyone, are a company for that matter. Hopefully the next few weeks will prove me wrong…