selfprofessedgeek

6 comments by selfprofessedgeek on Apr 28th, 2011

Who is a bro?: A bro is a person who would give you the shirt off his back when he doesn't want to wear it anymore. A bro is a person who will bend over backwards to help you bend someone else over backwards. In short, a bro is a life long companion you can trust will anyways be there for you, unless he's got something else going on.

• A bro is always entitled to do something stupid as long as the rest of his bros are all doing it.
• Whether he cares about sports or not, a bro cares about sports.
• A bro never sends a greeting card to another bro.
• Bros do not share dessert.
• Unless he has children, a Bro shall not wear his cellphone on a belt clip.
• Even in a fight to the death, a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin.
• A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro.
• If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take the secret to his grave. This is what makes them Bros, not chicks.
• A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging.
• If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown.
• A Bro never admits he can't drive stick. Even after an accident.
• Should a Bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow bros will not make lame jokes such as "Give me three!" or "Woah, that crazy thing you did really took a lot of ball." Its still a high five and that Bro still has a lot of balls... Metaphorically speaking of course.
• All Bros shall dub one of their Bros his wingman.
• A Bro never dances with his hands above his head.
• There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a Bro.
• When wearing a baseball cap, a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o'clock. All other angles are reserved for rappers and losers. Those two aren't necessarily separate.
• A Bro doesn't let another Bro get a tattoo, particularly a tattoo of a girl's name.
• A Bro never removes his shirt in front of other Bros, unless at a resort pool or the beach.
• A Bro doesn't comparison shop.
• When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because... you just never know.
• When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, "What is this, a chicks' restroom?" if there are more than 2 dudes waiting to pee; and (3) attempts to shoot his used paper towel into the trash can like a basketball... rebounding is optional.
• A Bro never rents a chick flick.
• A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone. If women insist on having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors. Honestly, they're not that heavy.
• A Bro never cries. (Exceptions: watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire.)
• Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or Bro hug, but never a full embrace.
• A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro.
• When asked, "Do you need some help?" a Bro shall automatically respond, "I got it," whether or not he's actually got it.

Yes, most of this is taken from elsewhere, but its too funny not to share.