"Have you ever seen such a magnificent species? These "crabs" can completely control their host's nervous system. Can you imagine what the next stage of mutation looks like?"
My name is ZombdY, and I am a headcrab. I have attached myself to the head of this team's previous leader and have taken over his brain. I am now in complete control of his every function, and have appointed myself ruler of Overwatch's development team.
When the developers of Overwatch decided not to include any headcrabs or zombies in the game, I was furious. AndY himself, in an interview on Podcast17, admitted that the idea to develop Overwatch came to him after playing Zombie Master, a game in which my species plays a lead role. We play an even bigger role in the Half-Life universe, being the first to come through the portal. Not casting us for this title is a slap in the.. slimy underside.
This was obviously unacceptable. I tried being reasonable, even offered to eat only half of AndY's brain, but my emails went unanswered. I felt neglected, ignored. I could not let this go on, and so the elders and I chose this day (Friday, Aug 13th, 2010) to take over the development team and turn Overwatch into the awesome game it can be.
Operation: Head Hump
One canister was deployed early today to the home of each developer. Our strike teams moved quickly, and zombification was completed in under an hour.
With the team under our control, we proceeded to fix Overwatch and put together a promotional trailer to showcase all of our changes, available below. We will be posting a zombified edition of the Development Reports this coming Monday the 16th, and Overwatch's public release is still set for August 20th.
Overwatch: Zombiez Edition
Now, without further ado, please enjoy the official trailer for Overwatch: ZE.
Internet: Serious Business
One of my fatal flaws is sometimes forgetting that the Internet, though filled with humour and sarcasm that will keep you entertained for a lifetime, is in fact serious business.
Although most of you managed to figure it out already, some of you have not. It is understandable, since English is not everyone's first language. So, if you are one of the few who believe that headcrabs really exist and are capable of enslaving mankind, and if all the sarcasm in the video and the fact that today is Friday the 13th were not obvious enough signs, I would like to assure you that:
[ This was all a joke! ]
In fact, this is a decoy. We wanted to confuse you long enough to add VAMPIRES into the mod without you noticing. Overwatch: Barney the Vampire Slayer will be in stores on August 20th.
And.. He still owes someone a beer.