What difficulty are you on? The ai gets huge economic bonuses on the higher difficulties. I've found that the ai is more difficult on small maps where you (the player) can't get a good economy going easily and they get carried by their bonuses.
On bigger maps with more distance you can take advantage of your ability as a human to colonize a lot more efficiently than the ai and get an economy up so you can compete.
Micromanaging combat can make a big difference too. Doesn't have to be every little thing, but deciding to control a few capital ship abilities instead of leaving everything on autocast can be impactful.
The ai is also really suicidal when it comes to starbases and defenses. They will attack into 45 tac slot advent planets with a fully upgraded star base. Don't neglect repair station tech for too long. You should be putting them up on your frontline planets as soon as you bump into your neighbors.
For perspective I usually play on hard but I've beaten unfair before. Never beaten cruel.
turtle225
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