Howdy guys. Name's Kirby. I do TF2 and voice work and am an amature skinner.

Blog RSS Feed Report abuse How Bane and Batman Stole Channukkah

0 comments by purplekirby54 on Dec 7th, 2013

DISCLAIMER: I MEAN NO OFFENCE TO JEWS, PEOPLE WHOSE PARENTS ARE DEAD, BAT-PEOPLE, OR FOLK WHO WEAR DRUG-POWERED GAS MASKS ON THEIR FACES. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

How Bane and Batman Stole Channukkah

Every Jew down in Jew-ville liked Channukkah a lot
But Bane and his roommate Batman, who lived just North of Jew-ville
ehh. Not so much.

Bane disliked Channukkah, the whole week of festivities
Now please don't ask why, he just has a rustle in his jimmies.
It could be that his facemask wasn't tied on just right
It could be, perhaps, that his coat was too tight.
But I think, the likliest reason to date
Were that Jews were simply too easy to hate

But whatever the reason, his mask, coat or shoes
He just stood there on Channukkah day, looking down on the Jews
"Stupid Jews." Quipped Bane. Bane knew that all the Jews down in Jew-ville below
were not christian, and that, he assumed, was the first thing to go.

"WHATRE YOU UP TO, BANE?" Batman rasped, rather loudly.
"I'm standing outside, disliking Jews, rather soundly."
"WHY ARE YOU RHYMING, THAT'S DUMB, BANE."
"Wait what?"
"YOU'RE RHYMING WITH THE TEXT. DON'T DO THAT."

Bane rolled his eyes at the Batman, then he sat
Staring down at the town, then up came the bat
"DUDE, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM SO MUCH, WE CAN MOVE YOU KNOW"
He sneered, with his fat fingers nervously drumming
"I simply must stop THIS Channukkah from coming!"
"...WELL GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, THERE'S LIKE, 8 DAYS. AND THE PARENTS WILL JUST BUY THE KIDS MORE CRAP TO REPLACE THE OTHER STUFF."
"Shh. You're ruining the plot."
Then Bane went into his room, and began to think up a thought.

He knew every Jew down in Jew-ville beneath
was busy now, spinning dreidels and hanging... eh. Channukkah wreaths.
Bane growled, for tomorrow he knew, all the Jew girls and boys
would wake up bright and early, do their chores, then shuffle towards their toys
They'd rush to their Wii U and brand knew PS4s,
Ignoring the traditions thier grandparents made, before.
They'd look at the XBOX One,
but that thing's no fun.

All the Jews, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast, and they'd feast
AND NONE OF IT HAD YEAST
They'd start on Jew-Pudding and Rare Jew-Roast-Totally-Not-Ham-What-Are-You-Talking-About-Beast
Which was something Bane could not stand in the least
Mostly because Bane wasn't invited to these sorts of feasts

AND THEN
They'd do something Bane liked LEAST of all!
Every Jew down in Jew-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Channukkah bells ringing
They'd stand hand in hand, and the Jews would start FROWNING.

They'd frown, and they'd frown
And they'd frown, frown some more
And the more Bane thought of this Jew-Channukah-Thing
Bane thought and he thought "I will take this no more!"
"Why for fifty-three years, I've put up with it now!"
"BANE, YOU'RE LIKE, THIRTY-SEVEN." Batman quipped.
"I simply MUST stop Channukkah from coming to town! But HOW?!"

Then He got an idea
An Awful idea
Bane
Got a wonderful
Awful
idea!
"BANE IF YOU'RE THINKING OF USING MY BATMOBILE TO RUIN CHANNUKKAH, YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING."

Then Bane got another idea.

"I know just what to do!" Bane laughed in his throat
And he made a quick Santa Claus hat and just painted his coat.
And he chuckled and clucked "What a devilish trick!"
"With this hat and my coat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"
"BANE THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN SANTA. AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO DRESS UP LIKE THE STAR OF DAVID OR SOMETHING."
"Batman, why do you gotta rain on my parade? Were your parents Jewish or something?"
"NO BANE, THEY'RE DEAD."

"Now all I'll need is a reindeer."
Bane looked around, but since reindeer are scarce, there were none to be found.
Did that stop old Bane? No, Bane simply said,
"If I can't FIND a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
"YOU GET NEAR ME WITH ANY HORNS OR STUFF, YOU'RE GONNA FIND YOURSELF WITH ONE LESS EYE."
Then Robin had entered the room
"Guys, come on, I can't find the broom!"
The two of them looked at each other, then Bane took some red thread
and tied a big horn on the top of Robin's head.
"...anyone want to explain what's going on here?"
"BANE'S BEING STUPID AGAIN." Batman said with a sneer.
"HEY, QUIT THAT. I AIN'T RHYMING, YOU DUMB NARRATOR."

Then he loaded some bags, and some old sacks for robbing
on a ramshackle sleigh, and he hitched up poor Robin.
"WELL, I MAY AS WELL COME ALONG, MAKE SURE YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING TOO STUPID."

Then Batman whipped Robin
and the sleigh started down
Towards the homes where the Jews
Lay asleep in their town.

All the windows were dark, quiet snow filled the air
All the Jews were all dreaming dreams without care
When they came to the first house in the square.
"This is stop number one, Batman." the old Baney-Claus hissed
and he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fists.
Batman used his Grappling Hook, and met him in half the time
he just folded his arms and went along with the rhyme.

Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight squeeze.
Some ashes got into Batman's nose, and he let out a sneeze.
Bane got stuck only once, for a moment or two
then he stuck out his head from the fireplace flue.
What did he see? Not one single Jew.
"This will be easier than stealing from you!"
"WAIT HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN STEALING FROM ME, WHAT THE HELL, BANE."

Then he slithered and slunk with a smile most unpleasant
Around the whole room, and he stole every present!
Dreidels, and David Stars, Video Games, chives!
Checkerboards, Tricycles, and Circumcision Knives!
He stuffed them in bags, then Bane, Very nimbly,
stuffed every last bag, one by one, up the chimney!

Then he crept to the icebox, he took the Jew's... money?
"Who keeps cash in a fridge? That's really quite funny."
He took the Jew-pudding! He took the mystery beast!
he stole every last scrap of the poor Jew family's feast.
He cleaned out the fridge just as quick as The Flash
Why, Bane even took their last can of Jew-Hash.

He stuffed all that food (and cash) up the chimney with cheer,
"And now" Grinned Bane, "I'll drink all their beer!"
"...NO BANE, THAT'S AN AWFUL IDEA, THIS IS STILL JUST THE FIRST HOUSE."
"Oh, right."

Bane grabbed the Menorah, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like a cough from a dove
he turned around quick and he saw a small Jew
Diddley-Diddley-Doo Jew, who was no more than Two.

Bane and his Roommate had been caught by this little Jew daughter
Who had got out of bed for a cup of cold water
She stared at Bane and said "Batman. Santa Claus, dude.
"You've got the wrong family. My mommy sleeps in the nude."

Bane looked at his chum, and Batman shrugged at his pal,
Bane just stood there, unsure what to tell the small gal.
"Why are you taking our candle stick, guys?
"There's a Wii in the corner, that's a much better prize."
She headed to bed, glass of water in hand,
Then she shut the door, and listened to a punk-metal band.

"...WANNA JUST-"
"Yeah, we're outta here."

They left that weird house, leaving not but a morsel
Not even enough to feed a small turtle.
Then they did the same thing to the other Jew's houses.
Leaving crumbs much too small to feed tiny mouses.

It was a quarter past dawn with the Jews still in bed
Bane and Batman stuffed up poor Robin's sled.
Packed it up with their presents, their games and the wrappings
The food, the money, the trimmings and trappings.

Three THOUSAND feet up, up to their ramshackle apartment
They rode to the tippy-tip-top on the roof there to dump it.
"Stupid Jews!" he was snarkily humming
"They're finding out now no Channukkah's coming!"
"BANE, LEMME TELL YA, THIS IS ONE OF YOUR WORST IDEAS YET."
"If you help me stow this stuff, I'll give you 50 percent."
"DEAL."

"They're just waking up and I'll know just what they do."
"Their mouths will hang open for a moment or two"
"Then all the Jews down in Jew-ville will all cry 'Boo-hoo!"
"...BANE YOU'RE A SICK PUPPY, Y'KNOW THAT?"

"That's a cry" grinned old Bane "That I simply must hear."
So he paused, and old Bane put a hand to his ear.
Batman stood in the snow, freezing up to his rear.
But Bane did hear a sound rising over the snow.
The sound of shopping, and wrapping! "OH NO!"

"Batman, you were right! They simply bought more!
"How come you didn't tell me it lasted seven days more?!"
"I DID."
"Oh. Well, why didn't you tell me they were just going to buy more stuff?"
"I DID."
"Oh. Well, how do they expect to buy anything when we have all their money?"
"YOU DIDN'T TAKE ALL OF IT. FROM WHAT I HEAR, THEY FILL THEIR HOUSES WITH THE STUFF, STOWING IT IN ALL SORTS OF PLACES. EVEN IF YOU TAKE QUITE A BIT, YOU'LL NEVER TAKE IT ALL."

Bane, with his old feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling. "How could this be so?"
"Where'd they stuff all that cash?"
"I'm pretty sure it was even in their Jew-Hash."
"Maybe Channukka" he thought. "Doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Channukka, perhaps, means a little bit more."
"NO, IT DEFINITELY COMES FROM A STORE. I MEAN, THEY'RE JUST BUYING BACK ALL THE STUFF YOU TOOK."

"Oh. Well, that's it then."

Yep. That's it.

Report abuse PurpleKirby54's 6th YouTube Anniversary Special!

1 comment by purplekirby54 on Aug 22nd, 2013

Youtube.com

A young PurpleKirby54 joins YouTube on Nov 6, 2007. It all started on January 25th, 2008. A cute little original composition filmed on a crappy camera called "Black Hole" hit YouTube. 70 someodd videos later (most of which got deleted, making only 53), Kirby starts his biggest project ever. Please watch to the end.What's there left to say? Well. Other than watching til the end, that is. I've had EIGHT MONTHS IN THE MAKING working on this, and I still didn't get every song in. I left a couple out, due to the fact that they didn't really... fit. Anyway. I'd like to thank all of my subscribers for this, giving me encouragement the whole time. I've gone through three pairs of headphones with this, and golly, was it worth it. This features every song I've uploaded to youtube (with the exceptions mentioned), and 20 funpacked minutes of music fun.

Report abuse 15,000 views milestone

0 comments by purplekirby54 on Aug 20th, 2013

Thanks a ton!


Recently, a video that I did got 15,000 views. I suppose this is a huge milestone for a musician who has nothing more than a program based on an old SNES game and occasionally a bit of sheet music. Most of the time, I don’t even see Mario Paint composers get any more than 100 to 1000 views on their videos, so this is huge! I have this other great milestone video that I’m working on close to completion as well. Thanks for all your support over the years, and I hope I can keep making music that is good by you all. Now, I'm not saying this is a big deal or anything, considering the most popular one out there has 6 million views, but hey who's counting right? I have 1/400th the views he does, and that ain't nothing to sneeze at. So, those who give me support here (and those who don't you're cool too), I thank you! Now, granted, all my videos combined have well over 15,000 views, but not on one single solitary video.

Report abuse Rest in Peace, Logitech Headset

0 comments by purplekirby54 on Jul 29th, 2013

Well, the bad news, gents, is that my Logitech headset's bass isn't working, which is interfering with what I can hear and can't hear on videos, games, and other sorts of stuff like that. Fortunately, my computer's on-dash microphone still works, along with a good pair of earbuds I use. So, all is not lost, Penny Pigtails. This is going to drastically cut my microphone quality, but probably improve my listening quality. So, for now, my mic may not work, and I will eventually need to get a new one. For now... we'll simply have to see how good the on-dash mic works.

Please be patient with me.

Report abuse Mini Update

0 comments by purplekirby54 on Oct 31st, 2012

I take Classes from 6 to 8 on mondays, tuesdays and thursdays.
Dunno how long that'll last cuz the semester's almost over.

Doin' a let's play type deal with Vader91 (you know, vader91? this bloke - Moddb.com )And you should totally subscribe to us. I'm certain that he'll put the same on his MODDB as well.

Anyways, that's it for this update, look out for more in the FUTURE~
woooooooo

Report abuse A slight-ish update

0 comments by purplekirby54 on Jul 19th, 2012

I may be takin' some college classes down at the community college where i live, I may be at a desk job some time soon making 20 bucks an hour, i may be taking a course at a gym, i may be doing all these things

and yet, in my mind, i'm not being productive.

Trust me, if you knew me, you would never see me sit still during any of this. I would get distracted easily and give up halfway through.

But today, i realized something.

I focus my best when I'm doing things relevant to graphics and pictures. Hell, even ask Vader, he will tell you that the only way for you to get me to sit still is if I am creating something or playing video games. But mostly working.

I find that if I'm making something and I legitimately care about it, I'll work on it until that sucker is DONE.

Why do you think I enjoy making music? Or making Skins, or making board game tiles, or coloring art? Or doing anything but sitting still and watching and waiting?

Heck, I'm fidgeting just sitting and writing this. Adjusting my feet or legs or laptop or something.

You just can't sit me still unless I'm working on something.

So.

Anyone got any work they need done? graphics for a game, music, anything?

Report abuse Things of a Canadian's soul in the wee hours of the morn'.

1 comment by purplekirby54 on Jul 13th, 2012

Most folks around here have this idea that you need to be some hotshot gamer to be popular and famous, like many of the gamers before us, UberHaxorNova, PewDiePie, Chuggaaconroy, and BlueXephos just to name a few, they all share the same mentality. "Games are business". For a few, gaming is a way to kick back and relax at the end of a day. For others, it's a business, how they make their living.

But what happens if you're like me? Decent at video games, an amateur musician, and aren't popular in the slightest in places like youtube, facebook, twitter (even though i barely ever check the thing) and other such social media sites?

What if you're just a lost soul looking for something to accomplish in this world?

Let's face it. Even though we all claim to have a religious belief we go by, be it Catholic, Buddhist, LDS, Judaism, Muslim... We all have our own little beliefs thrown in. Things of a soul.

F'rinstance, I have this thought in my head that maybe this life isn't the only one you get. Maybe there were some before, and some after, but this life in the human plane ain't the only one you get. Catholics would say, yes, there's heaven afterward. Mormons would say, you existed before and you'll exist again. Buddhists would say that there's reincarnation and that one probably existed before as an animal of some sort. Muslims believe somethin' but I don't entirely know what. Something about Virgins? I dunno.

Anyway.

Here's my predicament. I've only had training in a few select areas of business, that being of advertising and the media of entertainment known as graphic design.

I suck at art.

I've been raised on the principal that many things can be accomplished with a little faith and a lot of manpower.

I am thin as a pole.

Here's what I think I have in store. When I die, there may be a thing like in Team Fortress or Counter-Strike where you respawn. But you won't get the same body, no, you go to the afterlife.

...I forgot the point I was making, but I guess it all boils down to "I have no idea what I'm doing with my life."

Report abuse It's coming...

0 comments by purplekirby54 on May 20th, 2012

Initiate game Team Fortress 2...

Loading game Team Fortress 2...
...
...
...

Game initiated.

>Apply intelligence module K54-forkylning.vtf
Applying to file S.bnk
Applying to file S.mgt
Applying to file P.mhh
Applying to file D.blk
Applying to file H.hwg
Applying to file E.leader.gtm
Applying to file M.eem
Applying to file S.pis
Applying to file S.crb
Applied.

>Apply intelligence module V91-gilger.vtf
Applying to file S.run
Applying to file S.leader.mgt
Applying to file P.hdd
Applying to file D.buz
Applying to file H.put
Applying to file E.snt
Applying to file M.okt
Applying to file S.rzb
Applying to file S.pyz
Error; voices missing.
Error; animations missing.
Error; error missing.
Applied.

>Run war.exe

Running...

Report abuse A Left 4 Dead 2 Related Post

1 comment by purplekirby54 on May 9th, 2012

What Is all wrong with my game.

Number one;
The texture files.
The lights and such aren't loading properly, I.E, it's always bright all the time. Not that this is a bad thing, but it does effect gameplay because it slows down everything.

Number two;
Flashlight errors.
When the flashlight is on, all zombie textures become illuminated in a different colour combination (i.e, white skin, yellow clothing (all one color, too, no mixed.) green skin, blue clothing, etc.)

Number three;
Excessive zombies create lag spikes.
Dunno if this is a problem on many computers, but it's really annoying on mine, considering windows 7 is supposed to be all that and a barrel of pancakes.

Number four;
um, i'm terrified of witches D:

I suppose that's all, other than the obvious...

Well, shit.

Sorry that I have to let everyone down here, especially Vader, Matt, and Skeybar, but it seems my computer is just too slow to run L4D2 properly.
So, even though I do have left 4 dead 2, it has similar problems to my Alien Swarm (ask vader, he knows.) So I'm just gonna have to eh, not play that. At least until the problems with the video get sorted out.

Report abuse Kirby's TF2 Wishlist - 2012

1 comment by purplekirby54 on Feb 4th, 2012

So that time of year is approaching again. the time which Kirby thinks about what the devil he likes in TF2. Oh, wait a minute, he can't buy anything because he's poor as hell. But hey, no one said that the TF2 Buying or Trading game was easy.

CANADIAN PRIDE SET:
Brown bomber + Team Spirit + Name Tag + Description Tag = "Canadian Pride" - Wearable by everyone but Canadians.
Summer Shades + Name Tag + Waterlogged Lab Coat
= "Winter Shades"
Merc's Pride Scarf
TOTAL COST - $17.46 USD

SCOUT SET
Milk Man (just in general)
Stereoscopic Shades + Noble Hatter's Violet + Nametag = "Kirby Vision"
TOTAL COST - $15.97 USD

SOLDIER SET
Grenadier's Softcap
Fancy Dress Uniform
TOTAL COST - $20.48 USD (WTF!?!)

PYRO SET
Apparition's Aspect - $7.49 USD

DEMOMAN SET
Carouser's Capotain + Name Tag = "The Rappy"
TOTAL COST - $9.98 USD

HEAVY SET
The Outdoorsman
Sandvich Safe
Pocket Medic + Nametag = Pocket MeeM
TOTAL COST - $19.97 USD

ENGINEER SET
Engineer's Cap + A Deep Commitment to Purple
Texas Ten Gallon + Noble Hatter's Violet
TOTAL COST - Finished~ Thanks to a certain Vader91

MEDIC SET
Waterlogged Lab Coat
TOTAL COST - $2.49 USD

SNIPER SET
-Done, essentially.

SPY SET
Just the Haunted Under Cover. But that's expensive.

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