I'm an Anglo-Australian living in Brisbane, Australia. I enjoy Mountain Biking, Parkour, Gaming and, of course, Modding. My skill-set consists of Modelling (in Max), UVing and Skinning - soon to extend to Animation... I hope. Games I've modded include CoH, BF2, DoW and sorta HL2. Favourite games (ever): World in Conflict, Company of Heroes, Marathon/Marathon Infinity (Hell Yeah), Call of Duty 2, Diablo II and the entire Fallout series. Favourite Mods: Natural Selection, The Specialists and Killing Floor.

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Before you continue, be warned that you are about to read an obscenely opinionated and bias article set to anger the vast majority of readers.

Lets get to it then!

If I were completely and utterly devoid of any gaming knowledge, and for whatever reason I decided to go and buy a portable gaming console, after looking through the selection of games available today, I would assume that one who owned a Nintendo DS would:

a) Have a voice so high and squeaky, most people wouldn't even be able to hear it.
b) Also possess a Vagina.
c) Frequent the NAMBLA website.

I mean really... Nintendogs? Bratz? What fabulous titles are still yet to come out for my Nintendo DS!? What's this! I can write my shopping list of skin and hair care products on it as well! Oh! My! Gosh! I thimply must tell everybody!

"Why! Kage!" You say "I have a Nintendo DS and I eat bowls of rusty nails with Cobra venom for breakfast!"
"But I only play the manly games available like CoD4 and Assassin's Creed!"
No. You Don't. You have a copy of Pokemon for your DS and you play it more than anything else. There's also this adorable pink dress hanging up next to you in the closet.

No, if you wanted a manly portable gaming console with manly games, you would have a PSP. I rip through hordes of hell-spawned daemons and monsters with my Blades of Chaos as Kratos in God of War. This is before switching UMDs and beating up random civilians leading to a police chase and my eventual death in hale of flames and flying car debris in Grand Theft Auto. When I finally get bored of slaughtering innocent people and policemen, I listen to my collection of Disturbed, Powerman 5000, Rob Zombie and Slipknot. Then watch 300. Twice.

But it's ok, you can just sit over there and play Cake Mania 2: Jill's Next Adventure! Really it's okay. I understand.

Now, the other day in the CDB I saw an Asian guy with purple hair, pierced ears, some ridiculous low collared T-shirt, tight fitting jeans and an unidentifiable drink with a smiling cat-thing on it, and he was playing a pink DS Lite. And that was okay. You know why it was ok? Because that is exactly what someone with a DS should look like.

I hope you DS players have finished bawling your eyes out and smudging all that makeup you spent so long applying. Now go get a PSP.

Kage out.

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Post comment Comments
Chompster Jan 7 2014 says:

really nice models you got there.

+1 vote     reply to comment
DonutArnold Dec 4 2008 says:

Hey dude, are you working on any big-scaled mod project?

+1 vote     reply to comment
ConfusedMaster Nov 5 2008 says:


+2 votes     reply to comment
Kageh Creator
Kageh Nov 11 2008 replied:

Lol... I can't get enough of it either. Every time I post I just watch it for ages.

+1 vote   reply to comment
VengeFulSniper Jul 29 2008 says:

Thanks for the modwatch on FOT:R.

+1 vote     reply to comment
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