Blog 3: What Am I Doing? - Lord_Cylarne

I was recently all inspired by my friend, Gambit to write this blog, because I have the time and I just want to get this off my chest out of pure entertainment (which is weird for me, I don't usually like to write about myself (like once a year essays about myself)), and here I go.

Before I started DOW (Dawn of War) I was only the typical average person in the world living the life in a popular zone of friends. My life as I knew it several 5-12 years ago was pretty casual, I partied a lot, slacked off in school, hang with my friends, well honestly, I am the most famous jerk back in the days, and I just loved being loved for being an asshole in a total good way, not by making fun of someone or being a bully, but just joking around with harsh ongoing jokes. Ironically, I was the quiet one, I never really talked a lot at all, I never made many girlfriends, I was instead very liked by many people, even though I'm socially awkward. Yes, you heard right, I am socially awkward, but not at all in a bad way. Interestingly, that never affected my life at all. I graduated from High School with a proud applause, and I was on the verge of becoming an adult, how drastic *cries*. :(

So after that, actually no, before I graduated, I got into DOW. How did I get into DOW? My cousin introduced me into DOW. I loved the thing. I became an official nerd at that point (ha ha funny, quiet you!), and I can honestly not tell you how much DOW gots me so smar' boss. I found my passion right there, modding. And so on... I was just so beyond addicted and all the computer classes I needed to take; I passed with A- and better.

Throughout my DOW games I was honestly not fond of Dark Crusade and Soulstorm being limited by Relic balance crap, so I figured out you could mod it and such. I made a mod called Ultimate Apocalypse version 1.6, the baby son of Apocalypse mod for Dawn of War: Soulstorm, two years after the completion of the campaign of Soulstorm. I was actually very good at it, apparently and the thread I created on RelicNews became vastly popular somehow. What inspired me to create Ultimate Apocalypse actually was the mod called Titanium Wars mod. I took over progress from Krronus too because people were so sad. I LOVED that mod so much (TWM and Apocalypse), I played it for a while and then Ultimate Apocalypse came out and I started playing that. :p The thing was buggy like all hells though, so in time I just improved it, and I improved it like crazy for two years I believe now.

I met my friend Cosmocrat, a very good modeler and before him, my friend Tyrantarmy, our trailer developer. I met a lot of good fellow mates, Corncobman, Whiteshield, Lleman, Jaguar Lord, Argonaut, RMX, Thudmeizer, Gorb, just way too many people to count and I became addicted to the modding community shortly after the release of Ultimate Apocalypse. Everyone loved the mod because of my handy additions and I just became famous now. I developed an entire team, Tyrantarmy, Cosmocrat, Profman, PsykoTenshi, RT2, Gambit, GreenTide, and Krronus. I have half team members, Torzel, deathwatch78, Corncobman, Sataman, Thudmeizer, and boothy_p (soon to be), they all are a part of the Daemons mod (unofficial team members yet to meet and work on the mod) or sidekicks that may/may not be a part of the Ultimate Apocalypse mod team. Oh and I work on the Empire At War mod now, so + 7 more Team members! I would like to talk about this too, but anyways... I am proud to be a nerd like the rest of you! :D

And then the part I like to spread my point across. I figured out I have low tolerance to idiots with opinion (lol). And I also figured out I have low tolerance to people who can't speak good language in definition to my language. I have enemies, I have people who actually hate me because the mod I do is just that good, or they feel threatened. I believe most of you recall the situation between me and GrOrc, yes? Gambit, the psychologist genius convinced me that I have misjudged GrOrc and many others who are not very good with the English language. I have also figured out that I have no good understandings to deal with people "irregular." I don't think it is a disability I have, Gambit implies it is something to learn from because I have "good spirit". Well, I have many enemies because of an irregular person, not only that, I am a nice solid asshole in total general (but in that good way which some people and only some misleads). :D

I seem angry in places online, I may seem childish in places online sometimes, well truth be told I am just not equipped to handle children or personnel involved with complex life styles, or simply put I misread language written from French to English or Russian to English and I just get all confused, and figure out that I am getting attacked later on online. Truth be told I am no normal person I was long ago, and I am just deep down devastated with rumors going on by the Russians because of GrOrc and all that crap. It's just misjudging an odd sense of characters and that is how I have enemies. Dang.

Modding for Dawn of War a long time ago was the funnest thing ever, but now after I received the knowledge of possible DOW engine errors and these enemies up and all over my back, my time online and modding becomes boring as all hells. That I admit, and retirement is my goal indeed. I am actually proud of retiring, but I unfortunately won't retire until the Ultimate Apocalypse Grand Release is out. I then will then continue the mod after the release if I get donations, etc. but I'd like to move on from the DOW community and get to work on my actual game I'd like to create called *censored*. It will be fun as all hells, and if you like the Ultimate Apocalypse mod, you have seen NOTHING yet.

It has been a real adventure, but to continue the Ultimate Apocalypse mod, I simply don't have the patience anymore. I will definitely finish the Grand Release and I'm proud to say it is coming this year! But I just can't go on modding after it... my life is getting shortened because of it and my college ease of difficulty is in a huge wreck because of it. The Grand Release along with the Daemons mod is going to be my finale of all time, my final relief. But as of tonight, the worries of getting things done haunts me once more.

Oh high school wherever did you go? Life as it is today; modding a boring game; redo it all, please.