monke better than half-life
Gordon crashes his Helicopter as a fucking dumbass and Alyx crawls out bitching on how she almost died. Gordon flips her off. Them 2 starts to walk towards a house and a sexual hunter comes out of nowhere and preys on Gordon. Alyx bitch slaps the living shit out of it and eventually (somehow) kills it. They both walk over to the retarded thing called Leviathan Base to go and kill Mossman because for some reason Alyx still has a hatred for her. Eli mystically appears as a Soul and warns Gordon to blow up the Borealis before anything goes into complete utter-shit. Barney manages to find his way out of crashing that damn train he escaped on back in Episode 1 and then tries to send an intergalactic message to the combine AT the citadel. To Gordon's surprise, Alyx revealed she had a crush on him and Gordon was furious, he wanted to keep his virginity awake and not let any deviltry steal it. Gordon decides to follow Eli's command and blows up the Aurora Borealis so that he can have his steamed hams already. Gordon finally walked across the arctic like a snowman that's about to melt but the opposite. He finds a little raft and sails the sea as a pirate. The very next day..he wakes up to find the G-man smelling his ass. "Oh, Gordon I'm sorry I didn't think you'd wake up." Said the G-man. "I see you've done a tremendous amount of work back there, I was busy keeping company of...another being while you were doing a fine job." Said the G-man. Gordon smacks his face with his crowbar making the G-man very mad and restrains Gordon with an invisible power and then sexually harrases him. All of a sudden he was knocked out and was teleported to somewhere uncanny.
Half-life: 4 Awaits us.
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