MorsTactica

0 comments by MorsTactica on Feb 21st, 2011

SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
FIANNA FAILISM The farmer has no cows but some friends offer to helphim out with money for 2 cows. Some of it is in Sterling andthe farmer doesn't know where it came from. After a short investigation,the farmer suddenly remembers that he won it on the Horses.The farmer hands over the farm to his Son just before the Farm goes under. No Cows are ever found.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM You have two giraffes.The government requires you to take harmonica lessonsAN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk offour cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equityswap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a taxexemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via anintermediary to a Cayman IslandCompany secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sellsthe rights to all sevencows back to your listed company. The annual report says thecompany owns eight cows,with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided withthe release. The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads,because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of anordinary cow and produce twentytimes the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows.You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once amonth, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATIONYou have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATIONYou have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATIONYou have two cows. Both are mad.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATIONYou have two cows. Business seems pretty good.You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.