I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.
Heartfire, 15th, 4E 8234
I don’t even know what the fuck is going on anymore. I really fucking don’t. I… I don’t really even know where to start. Well, I always say that, but I think I’m just writing shit in to fill the void while I try to process what the fuck has actually happened.
Anyways, I pick Jespar up and carry him back to the entrance to the big pit we’re in. Then all of a sudden all the torches in the place light up, which freaks me the fuck out. I drop Jespar and get ready for a fight, and then, in the entrance, out of nowhere, I see… I see her. The Veiled Woman. The one who started all of this.
When our ship was close to the docks, Sirius and I got caught by a pair of crewmen. We duked it out and knocked them unconscious. The plan was to truss them up and escape the ship at night once they’d shored up. Except when we finished getting them tied, that Veiled Woman appeared and knocked us unconscious with some wild magic. Then we woke up on the deck with that bitch Roccio staring down at us.
The point is that I’m here right now because of that Veiled Woman. She’s the reason for all of this. I blamed her for Sirius’ death. I still do, sort of. I told her as much when I saw her. The way she spoke was fucking cryptic. Otherworldly. She waxed lyrical about an alternate reality in which she hadn’t stepped in and stopped us. Apparently, according to her, we make a run for the docks at night but get caught and put to the sword.
There’s no telling if that’s true or not. I can’t see any realities in the Sea before when I woke up on the shore in Enderal. Part of me doesn’t buy it, but… part of me does. Whoever this woman is, she’s powerful, and she’s… different. Very different. She’s not a High One. The way she talked about the Cycle, it’s like she’s an outsider. She called us all pawns, but she’s an… observer, of sorts, I think. I don’t know. I really don’t know.
But here’s where things get fucked up. She came here because the idea of being viewed as someone who fucks shit up for giggles doesn’t sit well with her. Who would’ve thought? Maybe she shouldn’t fuck with peoples’ lives in the first place? But anyways, she came to repay whatever debt I felt she owed me.
So she raised her hand and brought Jespar back to life. Just like that. A flash of fucking light and he’s breathing again, with her nowhere to be found. It took a moment for him to get back on his feet, but he was fine. I… I don’t understand it.
He doesn’t either. If I think I’ve got it bad, I can’t imagine what it’s like being in his shoes. He’s talking with his sister, then everything’s black and fiery, and then all of a sudden he’s back, as if he had just fallen unconscious, with his friend telling him he’s been dead.
And he lost his sister. Fuck, I just realized he lost his sister. It didn’t even click in my mind. Holy fuck, he lost his sister. Goddamnit. That was the last bit of family he had left. And I left her gutted corpse on the ground to gather dust. I mean, she didn’t leave me much choice, but still… fuck.
He wanted some time. And yeah, I’m not going to argue with that. I have no idea how he’s going to hold it together. If I were him I’d probably just fall apart, honestly. I hope he’ll be alright. He deserves a lot better than this, even if he thinks he doesn’t.
I have the Black Stone. It’s a short trip to the Myrad tower, and from there it’s back to Ark. As much as I want to stick around and wait for Jespar to finish mourning, I don’t want to waste any more time than necessary, with the Nehrimese closing in.
Well, I made it back to the city. The Archmagister was practically glowing with excitement when I handed the Stone to him. He didn’t ask about how I got it; probably had the clout to not broach the subject after seeing how gaunt my face is. Looking into the reflection in the water, I look exhausted. I suppose that makes sense. I did just see one of my friends die in front of me, shortly before he was brought back to life. Fucking insane is what it is.
I expected Halda to throw a fit when she saw the state my armor was in. Instead, she just seemed bemused and a bit annoyed, and took it from me without a complaint. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with her. She’s usually far more abrasive and caring towards her work. Still, I’m not really complaining, per se. Just a bit perturbed.
Anyways, I’m in the baths right now having myself a bit of wine. No one really comes in here, which is strange, but welcome, I suppose. It’s really peaceful, just dipping my feet in the water and writing while having a drink. Calia was in here earlier. She got to hear all about the skirmish with Adila and what happened with Jespar. It’s like she’s the one I confide in. Hopefully I’m not getting on her nerves.
As it is, though, I’m just giving myself a bit of a breather. Tomorrow I’m going to go ask that nobleman about his family’s Black Stone. His name’s Ketaron Dal’Geyss. I don’t expect it’ll be easy, but I’m going to follow this lead as closely as I can. Here’s to hoping this next search isn’t as emotionally draining as the last one.
Link to Enderal. It's important to note that the writing above is based almost entirely on the story created by an extraordinarily talented group of modders. Credit is due to them, not to me. I would also be remiss to not credit Arcones for the idea of using a parchment-looking background to add some flavor.
