Blogs - AK151

I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.

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Heartfire, 18th, 4E 8234

The archmagister got his stone. He was pretty pleased. I’m glad someone is. I don’t think I’ll be doing anything today. I feel tired.

Calia stopped by my room, but I told her to leave me alone. I feel a bit bad about it, but… I don’t want to talk about what happened yesterday. I kind of just want to be alone with my thoughts. I hope she understands that.

I have some reading to catch up on. Maybe I’ll write it down here. Maybe not. It’s funny… for a day, I thought I could have maybe had a chance at a life outside of all of this… something to look forward to once we end the Cycle… assuming we end the Cycle. But now… I don’t know.

I’m not sure what else to write. I think I’m just scribbling down thoughts right now to keep my mind occupied. Halda seemed a bit excited when I paid her a visit. She said that in a few days, she might have something interesting to show me.

I don’t know where Jespar is. Frankly, I don’t think I could stomach a walk through the Undercity right now anyways. I hope he’s getting better. I should probably remember that I’m not the only one who’s lost people.

I ended up asking Sha’Rim about the Word of the Dead; they haven’t received a reply back from the Frostcliff Mountains. Could just be taking a while. Could be something else. If there’s nothing new in the next few days, it might be worth looking into ourselves.

He’s seething about Lishari’s death. I… I can’t bring myself to be mad anymore. I don’t know what it is. Maybe I’m just shutting it all out. I really don’t want to think much about it. There isn’t much point.

I also came across Rys training with some of the Keepers. He’s holding his own pretty well – a good fighter, that one. He’ll come in handy if things end up going south… which they will. But until then, I’d prefer to not think about it for just a little bit.

As if on cue, just as I was starting to lose myself in my thoughts, I get a message from Dal’Geyss requesting that I return Ryneus’ birth certificate. I gave the messenger my reply. If he wants it, he can come try and take it. I’m not going to use it to ruin him, though… at least not now. I can’t bring myself to be that petty over this. It feels like it would be an insult to Ryneus.

It feels a bit relaxing to just read, though. No rush, no excitement, no killing, no fighting. Just me enjoying the books I haven’t opened yet…

You know, there’s something rather fantastic about alcohol that most people don’t tend to think about. See, when you imbibe enough of it, you get real imaginative. You start to see things in all sorts of weird ways… new perspectives and all that.

That shit’s really good for mages… arcanists… whatever. If you’ve got a good imagination, you get more bang for your buck when you take a look into the Sea. You start to see some pretty cool stuff, and sometimes you’re even able to pull it into the world.

A lot of arcanists keep ale or wine around because of that. Makes most mundane spells a snap to cast. It’s pretty nifty. Not only do you get to get drunk… you also get to be better at magic. Sounds like a win-win scenario to me.

I must be a pretty sore sight right now… standing out in the meadow next to the Sun Temple surrounded by empty bottles of wine. But fuck it. It’s great. I don’t care if I get weird looks from the Keepers. And I don’t care if a few days ago I told off Jespar for drowning himself after what happened to him. He had the right idea, all things considered.

I just need a bit more… I’m out as it is… might head down to the inn to see what they’ve got. I just need a bit more and maybe I’ll be able to see it… I could’ve sworn I caught a glimpse of it already in the Sea. The painting. It’s there. The painting Ryneus showed me.

It was beautiful. It was this fantastic oil depiction of the two of us on the coast watching the sunset. Might be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. When he showed it to me, I didn’t know what to say. He was so proud of it. But it wasn’t real. Like everything else, it was just a fake… an illusion.

But I can change that. I just need to warp my mind a big more… that sounds strange when I write it… and I might be able to see it. If I can see it, there’s a chance I can drag it here. If I can do that, then I’ll have something to remember Ryneus by… something to remind myself why I’m still going. I could probably use that.

Well… that was interesting. Calia caught me drowning my sorrows. She was pretty perturbed by the whole thing. It probably caught her off-guard. I can’t help but feel she’s like I was when I tried to jog Jespar out of his drunken state. Oh well.

I told her about what happened at Silvergrove. That I went there searching for a kid with a Black Stone and ended up in an illusory village created by the wishes of a kid who only knew the scorn and hatred everyone showed him all his life.

I told her about how we spent the day together, fucking around and playing games and having fun. I gave him… something he had never really had. And he gave me back a piece of my childhood, one of the few happy parts that I can look back on and smile at.

I told her about the cave and how he died, and that was it. I went into more detail, but that ended up being a mistake because I started crying again… bloody embarrassing. This is the second time Calia’s had to put up with it.

I almost forgot to explain the alcohol to her. Told her that it’s not just me drowning my sorrows. I’m doing this for a good cause! I told her about the painting and how I was trying to find it in the Sea of Eventualities. For some reason it’s really fucking difficult to track it down.

But then Calia asked me to describe it. It took a bit of doing, but once I got the picture in my head and laid out the details to her, it became a lot clearer. And then, all of a sudden, I could see it. It was right there, as if it had always been there. With a quick snap of my fingers it was right in front of me, exactly as I remember it. It’s beautiful.

I don’t know whether or not Calia knew that would work, but she seemed pretty sure of herself. I owe her… again. I’m racking up a hell of a debt with that woman… first Lishari and now this. I feel sorry for her, having to deal with me like I’m some stupid kid. This whole Cycle thing is really fucking with my head, I guess.

Anyways, I’m back in my room at the Sun Temple. I’m starting to come down off the alcohol, which isn’t particularly fun. Fortunately, Ryneus’ picture fits perfectly on the wall. I still think it’s incredible. It may not have been real when he made it, but he thought of it and he brought it into his world using just his imagination. It was a representation of what he had always wanted: a friend who wouldn’t hate him.

Fuck, I’m getting sappy. But I suppose I can’t really help it. I might as well get it all out tonight so I’m not out of sorts tomorrow. Need to track down the last Black Stone. Whatever it is, there’s not really much worse it could do to me than what Silvergrove did.

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I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.

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Heartfire, 17th, 4E 8234

He’s dead. Ryneus is dead. I… I don’t know how to feel. I… I don’t. He’s dead. He’s gone. Alice and I set a pyre for him on the coast. It’s all we can do. It’s all I can do. He was just a kid.

Silvergrove was an illusion. It was all a dream conjured up by the Black Stone. The villagers hated Ryneus when he was there, and thought he was cursed. One day they decided to kill him, but ended up knifing his father instead. Then they just left the kid to die.

That’s when the Black Stone came in. Offered to give him a world where everyone loved him. And that’s exactly what he got. Only Ryneus was too smart, and realized everything was just a fake, a dream bound to his will – everyone only loved him because he wanted them to.

That was what was in the back of my head: that sense that this was all too unreal. It hit me too late and I was too stupid to realize. Even so, Ryneus told me that I wasn’t like the others. He said I didn’t follow his will, and I made my own choices regardless of what he wanted.

He wanted me to stay. He wanted us to live together in Silvergrove. I told him I couldn’t – that I had to get back. He told me the truth about the village and broke down because he was afraid I would hate him. I promised him that if he ended the spell I’d take him back to Ark and take care of him. I made him a promise. And I couldn’t keep it.

The Black Stone didn’t like Ryneus trying to end the illusion – it possessed him and turned him into this massive beast. I put my helm on to fight it but I didn’t have to. Alice flared up like I’d never seen before and went at it. Engulfed the whole thing in an inferno and burnt it to ash. I think she was just as pissed as I was.

After the illusion came down, I found Ryneus in his house, deformities and all – the whole left side of his body was warped. He was barely conscious. He couldn’t walk from the pain he was in. I figured I could find a horse or something and get him to the Myrad tower – maybe use some Light Magic to keep him alive. I left to find a ride and when I couldn’t, I drew one out of the Sea.

But he was gone when I got back – was muttering about his father… apologizing for something he did. I don’t know. Then he died.

I don’t know. As I’m writing this, I just feel distant. All I can hear is the crashing of the waves and the crackling of the pyre we lit, mixed in with Alice’s howling. It’s getting late… the sun’s already set. Everyone here is dead. I need to get back to Ark.

He called me his big sister.

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I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.

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Heartfire, 17th, 4E 8234

Alright, that was really fun. Ryneus’ father fixed up a Starling sphere… somehow… and got it to hover and dart around. The kid’s first “wish” was for me to score hits with the bow while he flew the sphere around. I’m not exactly sure how long we spent playing around with it, but I loved it.

I don’t do a lot of archery – my range comes from my magic – but I did use a bow for a bit when I first made it ashore. I guess it shouldn’t surprise me too much that I’m a damned good shot. That sphere was bolting all over the place and I was still landing some really nice hits. Ryneus loved it.

I swear, that kid’s excitement is infectious. When we started out, it felt like kind of a chore, but when I really got into it, I couldn’t stop. It was great. Honestly, it’s been way too long since I’ve actually had some fun. Most of my leisure time is spent training, drinking, or reading. This was a really fantastic change of pace. That kid’s growing on me.

Alice likes him too. He’s got a dog, but I think Alice is trying to compete with him for the kid’s attention. Usually she’s got this fiery hide that burns whatever it touches. But when Ryneus went to pet her, the fire died down and her skin went back to its ethereal blue. She’s really taken a liking to him. They were running around on the beach while I was giving my arm a break.

I know the Nehrimese are closing in and we don’t have a lot of time, but the kid won’t give over the Black Stone unless we play all these games anyways, so I figure we might as well enjoy them while we can. The day’s still young anyways, judging by the sun. We can stay here a bit longer.

This place has some pretty great food. The inn’s pretty cozy and they’ve got a decent bard. Unfortunately, the people here, while hospitable, are kind of annoying. More than a few of them are treating me like some sort of exhibit because I’m an outsider. And those who aren’t are waxing lyrical about how terrible life must be in the city. It’s a bit insufferable.

That being said, I do like it here. After finishing up Ryneus’ little archery game, I took a stroll down the beach and looked into some of the ruins along the coast. They’re all abandoned, aside from some wildlife. But it’s strange… even the animals are pretty friendly. None of them have really attacked me, which is almost unreal considering how hostile the wildlife is on the rest of the continent.

And I’m glad they let me look around, because this place really is beautiful. These ruins are pretty old, but that’s not it. The natural forestry here is incredible. It contrasts so starkly with the desert sand with vibrancy you don’t find anywhere else around here.

The water’s also really fantastic. I know that’s a strange thing to note, but it’s clearer and more fresh than Ark’s own water by a long shot. I’ve no idea what it is, but it’s great, and it feels invigorating.

Anyways, after all of that, I paid Ryneus another visit and he gave me his second wish. He collects and draws butterflies and wanted me to go out to a nearby grove and catch a few of the buggers he hasn’t managed to find yet.

It was pretty menial, but it was honestly really nice. The grove was beautiful and the moths were actually pretty radiant. It’s like this whole place is ideal. In the back of my mind something feels wrong, but I’m not going to let it ruin this. I’m sure at some point the Black Stone is going to rear its head and fuck shit up, but until it does, I’m going to enjoy this.

It’s kind of strange… Ryneus reminds me of my little sister… Sasha. The resemblance in their personalities is almost striking. Sasha would always want me to play with her, and though it got tiresome at times, for the most part I had fun chasing her around or teaching her to climb the trees around our house.

Ryneus is the same way. I don’t know. It’s kind of strange to say, but he’s like… he’s like a little brother. I know I just met the kid, but he’s really made an impression on me. I have no idea what it is. Maybe it’s that he reminds me of Sasha. Maybe it’s something else. I guess it doesn’t really matter. His excitement can be a bit wearisome, but I could use some more happiness in my life anyways.

I even told him I’d consider setting up here – after the whole Cycle fiasco, that is. This really is a nice place, and I could get used to it. The people are a bit off-putting and a tad too friendly, but I’ll take that over the outright hostility I’ve had to deal with in Ark and Ostian any day. I don’t know. Once the High Ones are dead, assuming we succeed, I’ll have the entire world at my fingertips. And if we don’t succeed, we’ll all be dead anyways, so there’s not much to lose.

I left Alice to run around and play with Ryneus a bit more while I get some lunch. I will say that these days are really long. It’s hard to tell exactly what time it is. Granted, I’m not used to this place, and the locals all say the light lasts a good while, so I guess it’s an acquired taste.

Well, Ryneus has his third wish for me. He wants to go over to a cave close to the waterfall. I think I know the one. I don’t know what he’ll want, but he seemed excited. Normally that would worry me, because kids and wishes don’t mix too well, but Ryneus is a good kid, and this could have definitely been a lot more painful than it was. Hopefully the Black Stone doesn’t try to change that.

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I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.

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Heartfire, 17th, 4E 8234

Got an early start today; figured I might as well waste as little time as possible. I got my armor back from Halda – it looks as good as new, which is nice. She does great work, considering the damage this stuff takes.

Anyways, I got all my supplies and took the Myrad. I can actually see it dawning from the back of the beast. It’s an impressive sight. Once I land at the Duneville tower it’s only a short hike to Silvergrove. Or at least, it should be, assuming Dal’Geyss gave me a proper location. It’s way east, but I’m already somewhat familiar with the area after going there with Jespar. It shouldn’t be too much trouble.

Well, that was bloody stupid of me. I found a pass and ended up getting caught in a rockslide while walking through. Stone clocked me on the head and gave me a nasty headache, I think. I don’t exactly remember. It’s all really fuzzy. But anyways, the pass is blocked off.

Fortunately, I was going in the right direction. A bit further down, there was a pretty sturdy-looking gate. The guard was friendly enough and told me he was about to shut it for the day to keep the Bonerippers out. He let me in and said it’s best for me to not go outside until nightfall when the gate opens again. Fair enough.

Silvergrove itself is nearby. It’s got an interesting story. Apparently, it wasn’t particularly well-off until a traveler dumped a boy there. That boy found a silver vein while playing in the grove, and since then, the place has been having things pretty nice.

And of course, the boy is Ryneus. One of the villagers took him in. He had these really bad tumors all over half of his body, but the interesting thing is that a bit after he was taken in, the kid started to get better. That’s strange, to say the least. And it definitely sounds like the work of the Black Stone.

My thoughts are all a mess right now. I’ve got a splitting headache from that damned rockslide, but I don’t think I’m in much danger here. This place feels like it’s pretty safe, secluded from the rest of the world. I like it. Let’s see what the village is like.

Okay, something is definitely fucked up here. I’m not exactly sure what it is, but there’s something that’s not right. This place is nice… really nice. It’s peaceful and friendly and pretty much perfect – too perfect, almost. This is a small little hamlet in the eastern deserts of Enderal. It doesn’t seem likely. But that I can somewhat accept.

No, what’s throwing me off is Ryneus. Not just the kid, but his father. When I found his house and knocked, as soon as the door opened I was face-to-face with the spitting image of my father. I swear, I almost drew Blutgang out of fright. He looks exactly like him. It’s fucking unnerving as all hell, and I don’t understand it.

But he’s definitely different – nothing at all like father, which is not something I’m complaining about, honestly. Regardless, it’s strange, and something feels… wrong. It’s in the back of my mind. Something is going to happen at some point. Honestly, I’m fine with that. The Black Stones like to play games. If this one wants to fuck with me, it can go ahead and try.

Ryneus himself isn’t that bad. He’s a smart little kid. His room’s filled with loads of books, some of which aren’t short reads. When I first spoke to him, his dog took off with one of his toys and I had to chase the bloody thing down. It was kind of fun, honestly.

After that little episode, I talked with the kid for a bit. The guard was right about his illness fading; he looks fantastic, about as healthy as a kid can get. I asked him about the Black Stone, and he made a deal with me: if I grant him three wishes, he’ll tell me where it is.

Now, I’m not a huge fan of playing games, but I’m also not about to start threatening a little kid. I’ll play along. Let’s just hope these wishes of his aren’t too far-fetched. I don’t have a lot of time here.

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I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.

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Heartfire, 16th, 4E 8234

Well, Dal’Geyss is certainly personable – about as personable as any nobleman, I suppose. I could’ve made a scene, but I doubt it would have done much good. He’s got a bodyguard, one of those Petrified. I don’t know much about them, but I can see him in the Sea of Eventualities easily enough, so he shouldn’t be too much trouble.

The problem is that Dal’Geyss is stubborn. He’s hiding the Black Stone somewhere. That much is clear. But he won’t budge, and I doubt giving him an ass-kicking will change that. He threw me out of his mansion, but there are other ways to get in. I need to find something to use against him. Once that’s done, we’ll come face-to-face again, and I’ll show him just how worthless all his so-called power really is.

Looks like the good Ketaron Dal’Geyss isn’t as untouchable as he thinks he is. He has an heir. A boy named Ryneus, apparently. It wouldn’t be information of any significance if the certificate of his birth weren’t locked away in the attic of his mansion, never to be seen. I’m surprised Dal’Geyss didn’t simply burn the bloody thing.

From what I can tell, it looks like our noble had an affair with a commoner. If I were to guess, he wanted to keep it covered up. Gods know what he did with the poor lass and the kid. I guess we’ll find out. I’ve been moving through this place like a ghost, but it’s time to make some noise. I want answers, and anyone who gets in my way won’t last long enough to regret it.

Damn, words cannot describe how good that felt. As expected, the moment I walked in Dal’Geyss told his Petrified to toss me out. The bastard went to grab me but didn’t expect me to fight back. When I nailed him in the face and sent him reeling he went for his greatsword, but I drew Blutgang just as fast. We went at it for a few seconds before I called up Alice. She turned the tide. A few moments later he was out.

As for the other guards, when they heard the commotion they all came running, but none of them were prepared to take on Alice. She just stood guard, flaring her skin up and snarling pretty viciously, and none of them dared to come any closer. I love that wolf. She’s fantastic.

Anyways, with the guards taken care of, I confronted Dal’Geyss about the birth certificate I found. Apparently, it wasn’t an affair at all. His wife got pregnant seven years ago, but the child she had was deformed, and badly. Dal’Geyss gave him away and didn’t think twice. But before he sent him off to die in a whole at the edge of the world, his wife swiped the Black Stone and sent it off with the kid.

So that’s where I’m heading. It’s a village called Silvergrove, close to Duneville. If I’m going east, I need to do it rested, so I’m done for the day. Besides, I need my armor, and Halda will probably insist on holding onto it until it’s finished.

After he gave me the information, I left. He wanted me to hand him the certificate, but I told him that whether he got it or not would depend on how well-off his kid is. I wasn’t an unwanted child, but I knew plenty of people in Ostian who were. Their parents were pieces of trash who deserved to burn, and this bastard is no different. If something’s happened to that boy, so help me there won’t be a person in Ark who won’t know the story of Ketaron Dal’Geyss’ secret heir.

He was pissed, to say the least, which is good. Borek’s the only lead on the Rhalata I’ve got, but Dal’Geyss opens up a completely different avenue. I gave him my name and told him to sick his thugs on me. I welcome it. The sooner they start trying to kill me, the sooner I can start hunting them down.

On another note entirely, today is an interesting day. It marks the thirtieth day I’ve been here on Enderal. It’s been roughly a month since I washed up on the shore with arcane fever and not a clue about what the hell was going. It’s been a month since Sirius died and I left my old life behind for good. It’s been a month since I became the Prophetess.

Honestly, I don’t know how to feel. I suppose I should be happy I’ve survived this long. But a lot has happened. Looking back at this journal, I’m not sure whether it’s impressive or disturbing that I’m holding it together like I am.

Before I came to Enderal, I knew a few people, but I really had only one friend: Sirius. When he died, it didn’t really hit me until a few days later. Even then, I tried my best not to let it show and kept whatever grief I felt buried deep. When I killed Roccio I thought that would give me some closure, but it didn’t. I think the closest thing I’ve had to any sort of emotional catharsis was my breakdown after Lishari’s death. That was something I really needed. And maybe that’s enough to keep me going. I guess we’ll see.

Another thing: before I washed up ashore, I had maybe two or three kills to my name. Sirius and I got in plenty of scraps, but we usually left our enemies breathing at the end of it. I probably killed more rats than men in Ostian. But here? I can’t count the number of people I’ve slain. It would have to be a legion, at least. And that’s not even accounting for the beasts and the undead. It’s like I’m some sort of death-dealing killing machine. And I take it all in stride. But I feel like I shouldn’t. I feel like the fact that I am is a problem.

Regardless, it doesn’t matter much. What’s done is done. I’ve learned a lot over the past month, and I think I’ve grown from the scared and angry stowaway who didn’t know what to do with herself. It’s only been a month. And yet my life has changed forever.

Like I said, it hasn’t been without loss. I owe it to all of them to keep on going. Lishari, the Summerstones, the Foxhands, and everyone else on Enderal I couldn’t save. And I owe it to Sirius. We came to Enderal together, but he never got to set foot on the shore. Every step I take I take for him, and every breath I take I take because of him. Without him I wouldn’t be here. I owe it to him to keep going.

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I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.

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Heartfire, 16th, 4E 8234

Decided to get an early start and head out to the markets. It’s always good to see if anyone’s got anything useful lying around. Usually they don’t, but it’s still relaxing nonetheless. A bit of a reminder that we’re all still living, I suppose.

I talked to the bartender in the Dancing Nomad. Jespar came in really early in the morning. Apparently he was out of sorts, drinking until the bartender kicked him out. He told me to look around the other inns if I want to find him. Part of me thinks it’s best to just leave him alone. But if he’s really this bad, I need to track him down. Dal’Geyss can wait just a bit longer.

I’m fucking sick of this shit. On my way through the South Quarter, I saw a gibbet. Halyss Summerstone was hanging from it. He’s the farmer Calia and I caught a while back with the bandits. His daughter was weeping in front of the body.

Walking through the Undercity, I’ve got the same feeling. This place pisses me off. I can’t do anything about it right now, but at some point soon, I’m going to go on the warpath. For the Summerstones, for Jespar’s family, and for everyone else the Rhalata have fucked over. I’m going to burn them all.

Fuck, Jespar’s in bad shape. I found him in a whorehouse in the Undercity, half-addled and barely coherent from all the glimmerdust and alcohol. Part of me wanted to just slap some sense into him, honestly. But… I don’t know. He told me I shouldn't be shocked – he wants to fancy himself this unconcerned sellsword who would abandon his friends without a second thought. That’s what he thinks he is.

He told me about how he left Lysia. She’s the one he traveled with before we met. Long story short, their camp got attacked by bandits and he ran – didn’t hesitate to leave her behind. He only went back once they had finished her off. And that’s what gives him away.

See, he carries her dagger. He uses it as a parrying knife, and he keeps it close. It’s a memento. He says he didn’t care about her, but he did. He says he doesn’t care about Adila’s death, but he’s lying. If that were true, her sword wouldn’t have been propped against the wall.

I told him that he needs to pull himself together and stop drowning in self-pity. At some point he’s going to have to face the fact that he’s not as bad as he thinks he is. I think that’s what he’s afraid of. It’s why he’s fucked up right now. Adila’s death made him think again that he actually has people he cares about.

I can’t help him. This is something he’s going to have to sort out on his own. I gave him my thoughts, but it’s up to him to listen to them. If there were more I could do, I’d do it, but there’s not. I left him alone with his whores. I hope he comes around eventually.

Anyways, I can’t really put off the hunt for the Black Stone any longer. I’m not anticipating too much trouble, but you never know. But maybe I’ll piss Dal’Geyss off and he’ll sick the Rhalata on me. That would save me the trouble of hunting them down, at least. We’ll see.

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I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.

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Heartfire, 15th, 4E 8234

I don’t even know what the fuck is going on anymore. I really fucking don’t. I… I don’t really even know where to start. Well, I always say that, but I think I’m just writing shit in to fill the void while I try to process what the fuck has actually happened.

Anyways, I pick Jespar up and carry him back to the entrance to the big pit we’re in. Then all of a sudden all the torches in the place light up, which freaks me the fuck out. I drop Jespar and get ready for a fight, and then, in the entrance, out of nowhere, I see… I see her. The Veiled Woman. The one who started all of this.

When our ship was close to the docks, Sirius and I got caught by a pair of crewmen. We duked it out and knocked them unconscious. The plan was to truss them up and escape the ship at night once they’d shored up. Except when we finished getting them tied, that Veiled Woman appeared and knocked us unconscious with some wild magic. Then we woke up on the deck with that bitch Roccio staring down at us.

The point is that I’m here right now because of that Veiled Woman. She’s the reason for all of this. I blamed her for Sirius’ death. I still do, sort of. I told her as much when I saw her. The way she spoke was fucking cryptic. Otherworldly. She waxed lyrical about an alternate reality in which she hadn’t stepped in and stopped us. Apparently, according to her, we make a run for the docks at night but get caught and put to the sword.

There’s no telling if that’s true or not. I can’t see any realities in the Sea before when I woke up on the shore in Enderal. Part of me doesn’t buy it, but… part of me does. Whoever this woman is, she’s powerful, and she’s… different. Very different. She’s not a High One. The way she talked about the Cycle, it’s like she’s an outsider. She called us all pawns, but she’s an… observer, of sorts, I think. I don’t know. I really don’t know.

But here’s where things get fucked up. She came here because the idea of being viewed as someone who fucks shit up for giggles doesn’t sit well with her. Who would’ve thought? Maybe she shouldn’t fuck with peoples’ lives in the first place? But anyways, she came to repay whatever debt I felt she owed me.

So she raised her hand and brought Jespar back to life. Just like that. A flash of fucking light and he’s breathing again, with her nowhere to be found. It took a moment for him to get back on his feet, but he was fine. I… I don’t understand it.

He doesn’t either. If I think I’ve got it bad, I can’t imagine what it’s like being in his shoes. He’s talking with his sister, then everything’s black and fiery, and then all of a sudden he’s back, as if he had just fallen unconscious, with his friend telling him he’s been dead.

And he lost his sister. Fuck, I just realized he lost his sister. It didn’t even click in my mind. Holy fuck, he lost his sister. Goddamnit. That was the last bit of family he had left. And I left her gutted corpse on the ground to gather dust. I mean, she didn’t leave me much choice, but still… fuck.

He wanted some time. And yeah, I’m not going to argue with that. I have no idea how he’s going to hold it together. If I were him I’d probably just fall apart, honestly. I hope he’ll be alright. He deserves a lot better than this, even if he thinks he doesn’t.

I have the Black Stone. It’s a short trip to the Myrad tower, and from there it’s back to Ark. As much as I want to stick around and wait for Jespar to finish mourning, I don’t want to waste any more time than necessary, with the Nehrimese closing in.

Well, I made it back to the city. The Archmagister was practically glowing with excitement when I handed the Stone to him. He didn’t ask about how I got it; probably had the clout to not broach the subject after seeing how gaunt my face is. Looking into the reflection in the water, I look exhausted. I suppose that makes sense. I did just see one of my friends die in front of me, shortly before he was brought back to life. Fucking insane is what it is.

I expected Halda to throw a fit when she saw the state my armor was in. Instead, she just seemed bemused and a bit annoyed, and took it from me without a complaint. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with her. She’s usually far more abrasive and caring towards her work. Still, I’m not really complaining, per se. Just a bit perturbed.

Anyways, I’m in the baths right now having myself a bit of wine. No one really comes in here, which is strange, but welcome, I suppose. It’s really peaceful, just dipping my feet in the water and writing while having a drink. Calia was in here earlier. She got to hear all about the skirmish with Adila and what happened with Jespar. It’s like she’s the one I confide in. Hopefully I’m not getting on her nerves.

As it is, though, I’m just giving myself a bit of a breather. Tomorrow I’m going to go ask that nobleman about his family’s Black Stone. His name’s Ketaron Dal’Geyss. I don’t expect it’ll be easy, but I’m going to follow this lead as closely as I can. Here’s to hoping this next search isn’t as emotionally draining as the last one.

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I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.

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Heartfire, 15th, 4E 8234

It took some doing, but I convinced Halda to let me have my armor back. She said she still had some work to do on it, but I don’t want to keep Jespar waiting any longer than I have to. I’m a bit surprised that she didn’t finish fixing it up, though. She’s a prodigy with metal, so it shouldn’t have taken her more than an evening to knock out the dents and scratches. Oh well. It feels fine, and the armor’s more than strong enough as it is.

I met Jespar by the Myrad tower. We’re flying over the mountains to get to Duneville right now. The keeper said we were lucky to catch one of them; recently the Order’s been sending them out to scout out the Nehrimese fleet and keep tabs on their position.

We’ve got a week left before they get here, give or take. I can see our ships mobilizing in the harbor. Ark doesn’t have much of a navy, but the city’s defensible. With Leora planning everything, I think we have a chance if they go for the city. They won’t catch us off-guard at least, not with the Myrads and the watchmen.

I can see Duneville’s Myrad tower. It sticks out like a sore thumb, considering the rest of the city is underground. I expect they’re more than ready for the Nehrimese to try and come at them. I was only there for an hour or so, but in that time it felt like I was in a place completely different from Ark. They’ll be fine. Right now, I think Jespar and I need to worry about ourselves.

Damn, this place is grim. It turns out Jespar’s old hideout is a shadow steel mine. And of course, there’s a crypt pretty much right next door. Some prospectors came in recently, but with the Red Madness awakening all of the dead, well… the miners didn’t last long, I’m guessing.

Any that might have escaped were probably cut down by the bandits that took up at the ruins of the Dal’Varek estate. There’s pretty much nothing left, and if not for the charred foundation that probably made up the center room of the whole mansion, I wouldn’t have been able to tell through the foliage that anyone used to live there.

Being there, and being here, is putting Jespar on edge. He’s doing pretty well in hiding it, but I’ve seen the same mask before. Most people wouldn’t catch on, but I’m all too familiar with putting on an air of nonchalant dismissal to hide deep unease. He doesn’t want to be here. But the thought of Adila in trouble is probably driving him more than anything else. She’s probably the last person in the world he really cares about. He’s going to go through hell to make sure she’s alright.

No no no not again this can’t be happening this isn’t happening WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING? Jespar he’s… he’s dead. He’s fucking dead he’s FUCKING DEAD. I don’t know what the fuck to do he’s gone there’s nothing I can do I can barely think right now.

I watched from the foliage. Adila had a guy trussed up and gagged. It was the one who hired the Rhalata to kill their family. She was going to kill him. Jespar tried to talk her down. Told her the Black Stone was fucking with her mind. Asked her to give it to him. He didn’t back down even when she told him to go. But he didn’t make a move to attack her. He even threw away his fucking sword!

But when he walked towards her and she told him to stop, he wouldn’t. And then… that bitch. That fucking bitch just blew him up. Hit him with a fireball that sent him across the room. He was dead before he hit the floor.

I don’t remember much of what happened next. Alice didn’t last long against the tempest that fucking bitch called up, but I weathered the storm long enough to get Blutgang up to her. She had some magical wards that toughened her up, but I kept going at her with everything I had – didn’t even notice my own wounds until after the fight. I just wailed on her until her wards broke. And once they did, she crumpled like paper. I sliced her once across the chest then drove right through her heart. She’s dead.

I don’t know what the fuck to do now. I fucked up my left arm and my right leg and I know I’ve got at least three ribs broken from that fight, but I can mend those pretty easily. But I don’t fucking know what to do with Jespar. I… I need to bury him. He and Adila. The bitch doesn’t deserve it, not in the slightest, but it’s what he would have wanted.

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I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.

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Heartfire, 14th, 4E 8234

Well, someone’s certainly feeling vengeful. It took me way too long to track down the first of these places marked on a pretty piss-poor interpretation of Ark; it was mainly luck, honestly. I found a drain in the Foreign Quarter big enough for me to fit through pretty easily. It led to a pretty spacious sewer. After a bit of crawling and ignoring the smell of the shit and piss in the water, I found a door.

Behind it was a corpse locked in a cage, surrounded by spoiled food. On the corpse was a note, handwritten, probably under duress, considering how erratic the handwriting is, that talked about the woman’s crimes – she was an assassin, a contract killer who killed indiscriminately for coin. They’re a dime-a-dozen, but this one must have been particularly ruthless to earn herself a fate like this: locked up in a cage to starve to death while surrounded by food. That’s pretty cold.

Apparently someone’s out to wipe out some of the scum of the city. They call themselves the “Bone Judge”. At the end of the note was a bit of a riddle, a sentence with a bunch of letters missing. I haven’t any idea what it says, but I reckon if there are any more letters like this, they’ll have what I’m looking for.

Here’s the big question: what does Jespar have to do with this? The package I picked up was meant for him, so I’m guessing these letters were as well. I expect whatever this phrase at the bottom of the note is will make no sense to me, but perfect sense to him. I guess we’ll find out.

And here I thought the last one was bad. After another two hours of searching (someone really needs to work on drawing fucking landmarks), I stumbled across another body – well, what was left of it. The skin was all melted off, and the bones were submerged in this bubbling liquid. According to the letter left in the same vein as the last victim, this one was a slaver – a real bastard, by the looks of it.

This Bone Judge seems to be pulling an Andrasta. But unless they’ve got a really high body count, it’s not like they’ll do much difference. I’m certainly shedding no tears over slaver scum, but this is just gruesome and it seems more self-indulgent than anything else. There were some more letters at the end of the note, but I still don’t have the whole picture.

There is one thing, though: the bubbling liquid I mentioned was acid. Acid isn’t easy to get a hold of, from my three hours of experience going back and forth through Ark and the Undercity trying to see if there’s anyone with either a stock of, or know-how to create, acid, with no luck. That implies that whoever this is made it themselves, which means they have a lot of alchemical experience; alchemical experience that comes with being one of the Apothecarii. Adila, Jespar’s sister, was one of them. The package was meant for him. It isn’t too difficult to put two and two together.

On a completely unrelated note, however, as I was walking the coast, I crossed paths with Milbert Foxhands. He’s a merchant I did a favor for a day after coming into Ark – he wanted me to get back the key for his bank vault from his addict sister in the Undercity. She ended up kidnapping him and dragging him to the ruins of their old village to kill him, and I had to put her down. I don’t even know how to describe how much I hated myself after that. That whole day was shitty, looking back.

But we walked past one another, which was surprising, because usually he keeps to himself and his little stall in the marketplace. I haven’t ever actually noticed him doing anything else. But the path he was walking leads back to Foamville. I think he’s going to mourn for his sister there. I don’t know how long he’s been going back and forth. It looks like he really did care about her after all.

Anyways, I’ve got one more of these clues to find. It looks like it’s somewhere north of Ark. The sun’s starting to set, but there’s still time in the day. I can’t spend too long dallying, not with the Nehrimese mobilizing. We’ve only got a bit more than a week left before hell breaks loose. I’m not going to waste any of it.

I don’t know why I expected this last clue to be any less gruesome. This one was a child trafficker. Another real bastard. When I found him, he was chained to the floor and nothing but bone, his flesh picked clean off by a pack of rats that Alice and I put down. If I hadn’t seen sights like that before, I probably would have thrown up right there.

But with the body, I found my last clue in the letter. The broken letters altogether form a riddle: “Knock knock, who’s there? Come on in, if only you dare.” I have absolutely no idea what that means, but I have a feeling Jespar might. I need to track him down. Hopefully he’s back at the Dancing Nomad.

Well, he definitely knew what that phrase was. He and Adila would use it when they were little, as a bit of a code. She’s the one behind all this. Jespar doesn’t want to believe it. It’s the first time I’ve actually seen him ignore the evidence and hold on to a conviction he knows isn’t true. But I can understand his doubt.

According to him, his sister is peaceful and wouldn’t hurt a fly. But if she has one of the Black Stones… not only would that give her the power to bring down the criminals she went after, but it would probably drive her to this sort of violence. It all makes sense.

But Jespar doesn’t want to see that. He’s already perturbed enough as it is. When I found him, he asked me an interesting question: say a father beats his daughter constantly, and when he dies, she marries someone who exhibits the same qualities as him. He seems kindhearted at first, but then he starts yelling, and then he starts beating. Jespar asked me who’s responsible for the situation: the father, the husband, or the woman herself for choosing him.

It’s a tough question. Sometimes people hide things deep down and you can’t expect them until they surface. And it always ties back to how someone was raised. If they were beaten and abused, and they never figure out how to get over it, the only thing they know how to do is beat and abuse others in turn. It’s a vicious cycle.

I told Jespar I didn’t have an answer, and I really don’t. He didn’t either. At first he blamed the father for being the first link in the chain, but then he encountered the same quandary I did as to whether it’s just because the father was raised a certain way.

Naturally, it’s all a conceptual question. I think our talk on the Pyrean train about family is what prompted him to think about it. He blames his father for how his stalwart conviction destroyed them all. But when I really think about it, recently Jespar’s surrounded himself with people who have a stalwart conviction of their own; it’s been almost a month since we met and he’s stuck around for reasons he probably doesn’t even understand. Maybe he’s starting to realize that.

I don’t know. I just hope that this all works out. If Adila’s really behind all of this, it’s probably because she’s got one of the Black Stones, and if she does, there’s no telling how dangerous she’ll be. Jespar wants to head to Duneville. He thinks that maybe there’ll be something at their old hideout, based on the hints.

I’m going with him. We’re taking the Myrad after I get my armor from Halda, first thing in the morning. We’ll find Adila, and we’ll bring her back, even if we have to rip the Black Stone from her hands. Jespar’s already got enough weighing him down. The last thing he needs is another loss.

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I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.

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Heartfire, 13th, 4E 8234

They brought in Lishari’s body. She’s in the Curarium right now. Sha’Rim says that they’ve sent word to the fortress in the Frostcliff Mountains to send the Word of the Dead. He’s about as desperate to get his hands on it as I am, it seems. We’re going to avenge her. I can promise that.

I also found Calia. I needed to thank her for last night. For, well, listening while I just spewed everything I’ve been holding in for most of my life. I told her I owed her for staying as long as she did – that that was probably the first time in a very long time that I’ve really let loose and just talked to someone about anything I’ve had bottled up. She seemed surprised by how much I appreciated it. I don’t think she saw it as something particularly noteworthy; to her, she was just supporting someone who had supported her. Or something like that. I don’t know. I just know I had to thank her for that.

I also told her about what happened at the Living Temple. Not about Constantine, but about finding those two bodies. She didn't really know what to say, but she was pretty convinced that it was some sort of illusion. She told me that as long as my heart's beating and blood's flowing through my veins, I'm still alive. There was a lot of conviction behind those words. Even Jespar seemed a little unsure when he was reassuring me, but Calia didn't hesitate for a second to make up her mind. I... I really appreciate that. It's not much, but it still means a lot.

Anyways, after that little heart-to-heart, I went to check on my armor. Halda said it had a few dents she wanted to bang out, and that it would be ready tomorrow morning. With nothing to do, I took a walk around Ark and traded with some of the merchants. That bank was a handy investment, I must admit.

While I was there, I decided to ask the teller about Landlord Borek. He's one of the best leads I've got if I want to go after the Rhalata. I want as much information as I can get before I head to the Farmer's Coast and pay him a visit. That won't be for a while, but I might as well get a head-start.

Another development: Rys made it to Ark. I saw him in the Sun Temple when I came back from the market. He’s not doing much right now, and the Keepers look at him funny, but he wants to help any way he can. He might be a useful warrior when the fighting with Nehrim starts. I told him to stay ready and keep sharp. After what Andrasta told me, I admit I don’t really have much love for him, but he’s a good fighter, and we need as many of those as we can get.

As for Jespar, I haven’t found him yet, but there’s a bit of an interesting development. The Dancing Nomad’s bartender told me he saw Jespar yesterday with some noblewoman. Not too surprising, but he hasn’t been back since. He’ll probably show up eventually. But some pretty lass left him a package. The bartender gave it to me.

Inside there was a note, which has three locations around Ark marked. I’m pouring over it and going back and forth between maps to make sure I’ve got the right places down. It’s getting late today so I won’t be investigating them until tomorrow. Might as well suffer a scavenger hunt rested, after all.

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