I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.
Heartfire, 12th, 4E 8234
We’re alive. We’re both alive. I’m not entirely sure how, and neither is Jespar. Apparently I’ve been out for three days, give or take. The sun’s rising over the horizon, and in the distance I can barely see Enderal. We’re heading to Duneville right now, on a small fishing boat. I’m starving and parched, and writing this as I scarf down a veritable banquet. That entropist is making my list.
There’s a lot to unpack. Let’s start with Jespar. He almost got his plate in position but ended up caught. He went blade-to-blade with Alma Sedhan. When he told me, I almost didn’t believe him. She’s one of the best fighters in Nehrim, if I remember correctly. She uses a small battleaxe and uses it really well. Apparently they fought to a draw, but Jespar threw in the towel when he realized he was surrounded.
As for me, I got caught like a fucking idiot, knocked in the back of the head with my pants down. My entrance to the camp wasn’t an option – too many guards watching. So I looked for an alternate route. That’s when I found them: the High Ones. They possessed some animals and talked with me for a bit. I’ll get to what they said later. But the conversation was either long enough, loud enough, or both, for the Nehrimese to come snooping, and they got me without a fight.
Jespar probably had the pleasure of being questioned by Alma, but I got to stand face-to-face with Taranor Coarek himself. And what have I concluded from conversing with the revered leader of the “Free Peoples of Nehrim”? That he’s a fucking idiot.
He believes the Cleansing is a form of evolution for mankind, and it’s his duty to see it happen. According to him, there’s no evidence that the Cleansing is harmful to anyone, that it’s painful or malicious or anything. Well, he didn’t hear Constantine. The way he described it before he came at us, when the Cleansing happens everyone burns from the inside. That doesn’t sound insidious at all.
Furthermore, he claims that the Red Madness is a curse placed upon those too foolish to evolve – that is, those who believe in religion, like the Light-born – hence why it’s only affecting Enderal. And maybe his argument would hold some weight if one of the Order’s Keepers, a magister, hadn’t succumbed to it and blown up his apprentices. A magister who was told, like all who pass their initiation, that the Light-born are dead. So he’s wrong there.
But he’s too blind to see that. He used the silver plates to contact Arantheal and told him that unless he stopped building the beacon, there would be war. It’s not hard to imagine the great and stalwart leader of the Holy Order’s response was to that demand. Needless to say, Coarek’s mobilizing his forces. It won’t be long until they’re here.
For us it was a three day trip, with a favorable wind. They’ve got to mobilize their armada, though, and move it to Enderal. A bulky fleet like that won’t reach the coast for at least six or seven days. It’s been three, but Leora said they’d need a week to prepare all of their forces, so that’s a week and now three or four days, depending on the winds, before all hell breaks loose.
Anyways, after Coarek was done with us, he knocked us both out and tossed us on a makeshift little raft. Probably hoping we’d end up swallowed by the sea. Fortunately, that fishing boat found us and took us aboard. They’re on their way back to Duneville with as much haste as possible. It’s probably a good thing I told Coarek I was nothing more than a mercenary they hired to do some dirty work. If he knew who I really was I’d probably be dead right now.
That thought aside, Jespar woke up pretty early and he’s been helping on board and keeping an eye on me. I myself was put to sleep by Coarek’s entropist bodyguard. His name’s Samael. He’s a mute battlemage, from the looks of things, and probably one of the deadliest warriors in Coarek’s army. He really did a number on my head. I hope I can get him back for that at some point. I really do.
Now, the High Ones. We talked for a bit. They promised they’d tell me the truth if I asked any questions. Most of the information they gave me I already talked about: why the Nehrimese are here, for example. I asked them about the Beacon, and they said it was a weapon that could end all of this. I don’t know what that means, but they noted that they’re still here, which puts the effectiveness of their weapon in doubt.
They also told me about the emissaries. Well, emissary. That is, me. Though I’m fairly certain that was a lie. They said they didn’t appear to either Coarek, nor Arantheal, and they only believed they were emissaries. Except Arantheal had the same dream I did after I took my trial: the one where the High Ones appeared to us and taunted us for our weakness. So they have appeared to him. And they’ve sent dreams to Coarek, which is why Coarek believes that the Cleansing is a form of evolution. They’re the puppet masters behind all of this.
There was also the bit about my weakness and how it made things easy for them, but like anything they say, I’m going to go ahead and take it with a grain of salt. They claimed they couldn’t feel fear, that they were on a higher plane of existence than the rest of us and that such emotions simply had no place in their minds. I’m curious as to whether I can prove that wrong.
Now, one final thing… I had another dream. I don’t remember most of it, but papa… my father, was there. No, my whole family was there. We were sitting at the table. Then they started asking why I was special. Demanded reasons as to why I thought I could stop all of this, when no one before had.
I didn’t have an answer. But that wasn’t the worst part. They said I belonged with them. That I belonged in the grave. That I need to let go and just… just die. That I… I wasn’t myself, and I knew it. This is because I saw the body in that fucking manor, I know it is. But that wasn’t me. That’s what I’ve decided. As long as I’m still standing… breathing… living… that body I found was not mine. I don’t care what dreams or visions or anything or anyone else says. I’m alive. I am alive.
We’re getting close to Duneville. Once we’re there, Jespar’s got a scroll that’ll take us back to the Sun Temple. It’s getting late, but we need to report to Arantheal, and we need to do it soon. He probably already knows what’s going on, but he also probably thinks we’re dead.
Link to Enderal. It's important to note that the writing above is based almost entirely on the story created by an extraordinarily talented group of modders. Credit is due to them, not to me. I would also be remiss to not credit Arcones for the idea of using a parchment-looking background to add some flavor.
