Explode patents. Freeze patents. Set patents on fire. Dissolve them in acid. But they'll fight back. A sidescrolling shooter inspired by the awfulness of patent illustrations.

Report article RSS Feed House Hazards

The patents, having come to life by some mysterious process probably involving corporate personhood, waste no time infesting a grand decaying mansion. There, they intend to experiment and cross-breed. As you enter the house of patents, you find it cluttered with obstacles, hazardous materials unsafely stored, and whole libraries of dubious legal texts whispering dark imprecations. Still, if you're clever and nimble, you can use these hazards to your advantage.

Posted by Zarkonnen on Jun 14th, 2013
Article

Here are some of the things you will find:

Glue
Sticks to absolutely everything: you, the floor, your enemies.



Oil Barrels
When spilled, oil turns into slippery slicks, causing everyone to slide across. But when ignited it can make for an effective patent BBQ.


Explosives
Storing explosives in barrels and leaving them to stand around in hallways is a time-honored tradition. You're perhaps best off not using these as cover.


Liquid Nitrogen
Like explosives, but with the added fun of freezing in place everyone it doesn't outright kill.


Acid
Acid is all around you: in barrels, in jars, dripping from the ceiling. It sticks around too, so be careful.


Wombat Blood & Horse Meat
Delicious foodstuffs for everyone. Found in barrels and fridges. Great for restoring your hit points if you're this sort of thing.


Torches
Fire hot. Fire burn. Fire ignite.


Holy Water
It's not really clear how this stuff works, but a few splashes, and you feel fantastic and nigh-invulnerable. Same goes for your enemies, so it's best you don't let them bathe in the stuff.


Unholy Water
Quite the opposite of the above; results in terrible hangover-like symptoms like decreased speed and increased vulnerability to damage, especially of the unholy kind.


Fire Bees
These creatures are less than pleased about being stuck in a jar, and will make their displeasure know to whoever's nearest as soon as they get out.


Evil Books
Sparking with unholy energy, these books whisper of their dark and (of course) Lovecraftian contents. Disturbing their slumber tends to cause violent explosions.


Tables, Shelves, Beds, etc.
This stuff is just in the way. Ideally in the way of enemy shots. You can climb up the side of anything by pressing against it and moving up at the same time - so to climb a table on your right, press D and W, or right arrow and up arrow.

 

Post a Comment
click to sign in

You are not logged in, your comment will be anonymous unless you join the community today (totally free - or sign in with your social account on the right) which we encourage all contributors to do.

2000 characters limit; HTML formatting and smileys are not supported - text only

Icon
Patent Blaster
Platforms
Windows, Mac, Linux
Developed By
Zarkonnen
Contact
Send Message
Official Page
Patent-blaster.com
Release Date
Released Mar 12, 2013
Game Watch
Track this game
Feature
Browse
Features
Report Abuse
Report article
Related Games
Patent Blaster
Patent Blaster Indie Single Player Platformer
Related Engines
Slick 2D / Slick AE
Slick 2D / Slick AE L-GPL Released Nov 7, 2006