I don't know what to do. Thread

I know that this isn't the best place for this, but I feel pretty shitty, and I have alot of friends here. I dunno what I'm looking for, just a place to talk and get feedback on. About a month or so ago, I found out a friend of mine was talking to an old friend of ours from elementary school. I began talking to her too. (that there should clue you in on the whole situation) I have NEVER spent so much time talking with another human being as I did with her. We had an amazing amount in common, and soon enough I had a big crush on her. I just couldn't stop thinking about her. the problem is, she lives a couple hundred miles away... going to college somewhere else. She then told me she was going farther away, which really sucked. I told her about my crush on her, because the time felt right, and I wanted her to know.

As is the story of my life, I was shot down. I don't know what I was really looking for, because the whole distance thing was a huge factor. So I focused on the friendship we already had, and built upon that. meanwhile, my friend was slacking off, and not really talking to her. she got a bit upset about that, so I told him to start talking to her. He did, and he started to fall a bit for her too. I started joking with her about him, and asked if she was digging him. she said no and meant it, so everythign was at ease. We were simply all friends. (add to the fact that my friend had a G/F already, so the possiblilty of a romance between them was pretty remote.)

She decided she was going to go to mexico for spring break, (we live in CA, in the U.S., so mexico is like next door. she lives in the northern part, and me and my bud in the south) and during that time she'd stop by and say hi. Monday my bud broke up with his G/F, and was pretty bummed out. All he could think about was tuesday, since it was gonna be a guaranteed good day since thats when our friends were coming. I spent some time with him, talking to him about his problems. at one point he said that he was gonna go balls out on tuesday, and try and get lucky with our mutual friend. I said I would try too, but I was joking, and I believed he was too. He did ask me though, if i would be pissed if something happened between them. I said no, and I meant it. If he can get lucky then fine, but it would never happen since she made it abundantly clear that she saw us both as just friends.

She came on Tuesday, with another friend. We all had a good time, with alot of good laughs. Me and my bud both agreed that our friend was incredibly hot, but there was no talk of putting forth an effort of trying to get lucky. we chilled out at my house after the day was over, and we just sat and talked. It was cool. when they decided to take off, my friend offered to take them back to their hotel, (which was down the street from my house) I went to bed.

Today, I found out he got home at 5:30 in the morning. They didn't have sex, but they did end up kissing each other.

I don't know what to think. I'm really really fucked up about the whole situation, because I told him I wouldn't get pissed, but I am. this is the third time this has happened, and I always get the short end of the stick. It's not only him, but it's also the fact that she lied to me. She said she wasn't interested in either of us. if she had of told me she did, then that's fine, It would have made that much of a difference to me. All this at once though, it just really hurts.

I really, truly, honestly, suck at life. I can never find anyone to share my love with. When I do, shit like this happens. Tonight, I'm gonna get fucked up. I'm going to drink and smoke away these problems, because tomorrow...

They're coming back. my problems and my friend. I don't know what the fuck to do now. I don't know if I want to see her, because this shit, can get alot worse. I think it would be better If I don't see them at all, but I know I really should, since after this, she's moving to the east coast of the U.S.

This really fucking sucks.

Dude, don't give up. Are they going out with each other, or did they just get drunk? I have a best friend, we both agree that we're never going to go out with each other, and we both have gf/bf, but sometimes (and she agrees) you care about someone so much as a friend that sexual stuff seems like the only way so show it... my other best friend (also friends with her) has got sexual, and is now manically depressed coz it went nowhere.

MSN nick@tn-uk.net
ICQ 130300820
AIM tnukNick
Y! jacksonj04

if you need me

thanks man, and no no, we won't see her again for a LOOONG time. so they aren't going out. They aren't drunk either. There's really nothing I can do. it was just a SHITTY SHITTY thing that happened. I'm just pissed about how selfish I am.

at least, at how selfish I think I am being. anyway, off to my rock history class.

- Edited By Obsydian On Thu 25th, Mar 2004 @ 12:39:07pm

You aren't being selfish, you're being a male human.

You like her, ergo you want her and want no other bugger to get her.

my gf was raped on tuesday... believe me I'm an expert on dealing with stresses in relationships and the urge to murder other males.

hmm... Well, i say the best u can do is wait out and see how it all falls, ya know? I mean, her and your friend wont be in a relationship, that sounds jsut about for sure, and chances are tho, u wont either. However you CAN prolly become good friend with her if ya try, and just look for another person you can be with in a relationship and keep on movin.. Dont worry, these things work out usually..

Well to be honest with you i'v never loved any thing in my life. I know what you mean by not being able to find some on you realy can love because my heart knows no such word. Its probaly because of my rough child hood. I learned earily in life to life with out love for any one. It caused me to lose my relegion and beleives in god.

This is what i would do. I'd tell her how i feel. Tell her every thing you just typed. Just because i can never love another thing does't mean you can't. I would't want you to end up like me. Not being able to think stright at times. Being over nervious about a lot of stuff. I hate so much yet care for so little. Don't give up. Its not fun being in life not caring for any one.

You don't suck at life man. Don't even talk that way. Good things will come for those who wait, but not for those who wait to late. Its probaly just to soon for you any way.. think about it.. your only like what 19? 18 at the least. Not that i'm any older but I know what I have to do with my life. Do you? Its a good thing that you don't because I have to face that fact on what i'm going to do for the next 6 years when i sign up.

Think things over. Try not to let love get in your way right now. It will find you. sooner or later. It will hit you when you least expect it.

jacksonj04 wrote: You aren't being selfish, you're being a male human.

You like her, ergo you want her and want no other bugger to get her.

my gf was raped on tuesday... believe me I'm an expert on dealing with stresses in relationships and the urge to murder other males.

I know. I realized that. it's just me being myself. I guess there is nothing I can do. I don't think I'm pissed about what actually happened, but that i have to lie about my feelings to avoid the drama. The last thing she needs is to hear this on her one vacation and visit here before she moves away. so i have to suck it up. but it bothers me to be so dishonest.

chainsaw

- Edited By BaD-cOmPaNy On Thu 25th, Mar 2004 @ 7:00:27pm

and there we have it

the wise wisdom from bc

jacksonj04 wrote:
my gf was raped on tuesday

omg...man i'm sorry to hear that , btw obsy you have to hang in there i mean shit happens(believe me i've kinda experienced the same stuff once or twice) but meh it will all go away, you can't like her forever and there is always beer and alcohol, no, really, don't get drunk. GL mate.

jacksonj04 wrote: my gf was raped on tuesday... believe me I'm an expert on dealing with stresses in relationships and the urge to murder other males.

shit man, thats just horrible. you got my prayers.
If that happened to my fiance, ohhhhhhhhhh, that SOB would be headless in 3 seconds.

i hate guys that rape ppl, i mean at least masturbate alone FFS u sick bastards
(btw masturbation is ok, raping is BAD)

Now this sucks.
Well your friend did not know that you had a crush on her right? So he probably did not mean to hurt you.
I know how hard it is too think to immagine the possibility of leaving the person that you love, but, would still be her boyfriend if she wanted to? (Sorry but I am not used with verbs) I think that it would be sad to stay with a girl that your friend loves.
But do whatever you want, I am just suggesting.
Good Luck for you!

Jesus christ man! It's very very simple! If she is the tye that would lie to you and kiss another guy she said she had no interest in then you shoulden't care! You should be glad this happened because now you know what type of person she is!

Honestly... Hes right. JC is the way to go. You need a relegion to beleive into. I don't, but i might soon. Think of relegion as a way to re structer your life.. and a way to meet someone who dont judge you by looks. (damn i screwed) relegion... chewing tobacco.. and a WHOLE LOT OF GARTH BROOKS YE HAA COW BOY! I'll bring country to your house right now k?

no but for real think about relegion just once.. it may work? what have u got to lose?

btw hey jackson sorry about your girl... i know a thing or two about stuff and covering up... i'm just saying if feel that you need to take care of something i could help you. Really sorry to hear that man. If that happend to me i'll kill the guy but i guess that is not the best thing to do now is it?

- Edited By 2cos2 On Thu 25th, Mar 2004 @ 7:26:48pm

if your going to think about religion dont choose any of them, but buddism, its the only one with proper meaning to it, although i guess its more of a philosophy..

thats right i'v studied taht a little bit and tis right on the dot... i just don't have a buddist temple around my house Its all about medatation and overcoming your self. being equaly ballanced.. very good beleive.

- Edited By 2cos2 On Thu 25th, Mar 2004 @ 7:29:47pm

christian crusades

Ummm... buhdism wasn't like that to begin with, when the commies took over Asia (or most of it at any rate) they changed it so it wasn't really a religion any more. Because as we all know all commies/Socialists/Facists are aethests. Oh, and when the Chathlics came along they change Christiananity. And then the Prodestents revolted, and then they became no better. If you want real religion, seek true christianism.

You should just come out and tell him that you got pissed about what happened. It's in the past now and she is long gone, but it would be better for you to tell him you lied about being upset and hear what he has to say. Otherwise you are going to stew on it for a long time, and will only feel worse about the situation. When left alone with one's thoughts a person tends to over analyze and beat things to death with themselves. There are so many women in this world, my friend, so many. Trust me. Do not let a bad situation with one let you be depressed about the rest of the people in your life or other things that are going on. Bad times come and go, and there are always more women. Always. That is a guaran-damn-tee. Pick your head up, get that dirt off your shoulder, and hop to it biatch.

Its a bad day. Get waisted and start off on a clean slate tomarro. and a mean headach.. i would know i'v posted here drunk so many times... any way it will be all better once you tell him how u felt... You said this girl has went back home... you'll rember her every day.. then every week.. month.. year.. and before you know it you'll totaly froget what happend..

BTW: Next time your ass goes out and gets drunk you better call me biatch! I never pass up a time to get waisted and make a total dick of my self in public o.O

You would happen to have any left over vodka would you?..
and if any of you wanna get drunk feel free to let me know.... Some peoople dont' drink alone.. but i do im hard core

- Edited By 2cos2 On Fri 26th, Mar 2004 @ 1:55:59am

Thanks for the love people. this is exactly why I came here. to get advice from people who aren't afraid to say shit thats the truth.

There is no way I can forget her. I have never talked that much to anyone.= a full 6 hours straight.

My bud knew what the situation was, and what happened happened. he's sitting on my couch right now, talking with his ex. I don't know whats in his head, and i don't really care. All my buds are here right now, and tomorrow, she's coming back. but I think I got my shit together.

keep ploughing on, be yourself, don't be afraid to act how you want and say what you want

but thats where the problem really lies. If I do say what I want to say, it will just ruin everything. this is the last time I'm really gonna see them, so i want to make the best of it, but EITHER way, it's gonna be painful for me. If I say something, it just makes it worse for others, so I'm just gonna ignore it as best I can.

I know how you feel... trust me. Just dont stop.