Favorite "Simpsons" Quotes Thread

Alright, this happened to start up in another forum, but I was thinking -- it'd be a great idea to have an entire thread devoted to our favorite quotes in the Simpsons series. Here, you can post the funniest or most jaw-dropping quote that you found to be a hallmark of the Simpsons series. Let the humor begin!

Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!

Ralph: My cat's breath smells like catfood.

Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

I got so much Simpson's knowledge, I can come up with another quote every other post.

Comic Book Guy: Stop right there! I have the only working fazer ever built. It was fired only once to keep William Shatner from making another album.

Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

lisa: DAD YOUR HANDS STUCK IN THE TOASTER!

- Edited By hammy-bob On Wed 7th, Jul 2004 @ 11:45:48pm

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Oooh! That halloween episode:

(...copied from some website since I couldn't remember the exact wording... hey, it's a long quote! )

Owner: Take this object, but beware, it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: [worried] Ooooh, that's bad.
Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: [relieved] That's good.
Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: [worried] That's bad.
Owner: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: [relieved] That's good.
Owner: The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate.
Homer: [stares]
Owner: That's bad.

Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

We can keep this up, guys, but I'm going to always have a new quote ready in this head of mine

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

www.google.com.au

<Homer> You see, the thing about my family is there's 5 of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one that doesn't talk, and the fat guy. Oh, how I loathe him!!!!

40ozFreak wrote: <Homer> You see, the thing about my family is there's 5 of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one that doesn't talk, and the fat guy. Oh, how I loathe him!!!!

ROFL!

I can't really think of any good ones, so here are my favourites:

Homer: The lesson is that our God is vengeful! Oh spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten.

Bart: What a day, ay Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them; as is my understanding...

Ralph: Me fail English? That's umpossible!

tehehe </girlish giggle>

Ahh, possibly my favourite:

Burns: "What do you think Smithers?"
Smithers: "I think that women and seamen don't mix..."
Burns: "We know what you think. (Young lady, you're hired!)"

Frink: I take it by that impressed noise you made you might be interested in buying that matter transporter.
Homer: hmm, 35 cents.... and it only transports matter?

Frink: Oh Dear, I've been re-dorkulated!

Chief Wiggum: Okay folks, show's over. Nothing to see here, show's... Oh my god! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around!

Homer: "Bart, with 10,000 dollars, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!"

Marge: (on walkie-talkie radio thing) Husband on murderous rampage. Send help. Over.
Chief Wiggum: Whew, thank God that's over. I was worried for a little bit.

[ralph]Why do people run from me? *soils*

short but still the best...

Burns) exxelant

- Edited By shumo154 On Thu 8th, Jul 2004 @ 11:29:11am

[burns]oohm fiddle-sticks! It'll be like stealing candy from a baby. ho....say, that looks like a larf!

[homer] do you mind if I read from my bible?
[rehab guy] you may.
[homer] *looks for wisky* wait, this is a REAL Bible! Why, God, why?!?

- Edited By makkon On Thu 8th, Jul 2004 @ 11:50:10am

Abe: That doll is EVIL, I tells ya. Evil! Eeeeeeviillll!!!
Marge: Grandpa, you said that about all the presents.
Abe: I just want attention....

DOUH!

Hi evvvrybudy.

Hi Dr. Nick!

lol. cant forget yvan eht nioj.

Lisa: Otto your being brain washed to join the navy!
Otto: Ya, probably, Yvan eht nioj!

- Edited By BaD-cOmPaNy On Thu 8th, Jul 2004 @ 12:23:54pm

I still prefer family guy

Homer: "I'm going to the backseat of the car with the woman I love, and I wont be back for TEN minutes!"

Homer: "I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t... I mean s-m-A-r-t"

The leperchaun tells me to burn things. -ralph