Domestic violence Thread

A video to start with:

A survey of statistics in America:
New.abanet.org
[THE ADDED/EDITED PART]Others:
Sosfemmes.com France, stats
News.bbc.co.uk Germany, article
Unece.org Germany: document, stats
Unece.org stats & documents by country[/THE ADDED/EDITED PART]

So? In your own local town/city/region/whatever, does nobody react when women are e.g. verbally abused?

Edited by: feillyne

I love that song!

Edited by: AJ_Quick

feillyne wrote: So? In your own local town/city/region/whatever, does nobody react when women are e.g. verbally abused?

By domestic violence, they mean violence done within their homes. So, we're not going to be seeing most of it.
I've never seen a male publicly assault a female without getting assaulted back by someone else.

feillyne wrote: A survey of statistics in America:

Domestic violence is no worse in America then the rest of the world, but I'm not surprised to once again see you single them out.
Of course theres no mention of the other big ones, like Kyrgyzstan, Poland, or central and south eastern Europe.
You don't even like Americans. Why do you care if our women are abused, and not your own?

Do you actually know stuff about these topics or do you just plug it from other sites to gain rank? It really seems like the latter...

Edited by: NGS616

ngs616 wrote:

feillyne wrote: So? In your own local town/city/region/whatever, does nobody react when women are e.g. verbally abused?

By domestic violence, they mean violence done within their homes. So, we're not going to be seeing most of it.
I've never seen a male publicly assault a female without getting assaulted back by someone else.

feillyne wrote: A survey of statistics in America:

Domestic violence is no worse in America then the rest of the world, but I'm not surprised to once again see you single them out.
Of course theres no mention of the other big ones, like Kyrgyzstan, Poland, or central and south eastern Europe.
You don't even like Americans. Why do you care if our women are abused, and not your own?

Do you actually know stuff about these topics or do you just plug it from other sites to gain rank? It really seems like the latter...

This.

Edit: Though I see the original post was now edited to try and focus on more than just America. I'm left to wonder what this thread is supposed to be about now; I'm guessing no one here is actually in favor of domestic violence (unless they think the victims deserve it for not preventing the Iraq war or anything asinine like that).

Domestic violence sucks, but we don't have cameras in our homes rolling 24-7 to completely prevent it.
/thread.

Edited by: Cryrid

Domestic violence sucks, but we don't have cameras in our homes rolling 24-7 to completely prevent it.

The alternative to cameras is a specific education. But who is then to be targeted? Men, to reduce the amount of violence done on their part? Or women, to help them & create in them an ability, courage to report any acts of domestic violence or other abuse?

feillyne wrote:

Domestic violence sucks, but we don't have cameras in our homes rolling 24-7 to completely prevent it.

The alternative to cameras is a specific education. But who is then to be targeted? Men, to reduce the amount of violence done on their part? Or women, to help them & create in them an ability, courage to report any acts of domestic violence or other abuse?

So let me get this straight.

You're proposing we educate wife beaters ( many of whom probably dropped out of school in eighth grade) about the dangers of..... wife beating? What are you going to tell them ? That if they aren't careful someone could get hurt? While we're at it , how about we educate alcoholics about the dangers of alcohol and smokers about the dangers of cigarettes. To wrap it up we'll host a seminar for terrorists on why terrorism is wrong.

Your arguments tend to ignore alot of pretty harsh, glaring realities in favor of sweeping generalization, conspiratorial wankery, or, in this case, blind idealism.

Edited by: AJ_Quick

Not to mention the large number of men who are victim to domestic violence as well (who might feel even more intimidated of telling anyone about their situation)

Cryrid wrote: Not to mention the large number of men who are victim to domestic violence as well (who might feel even more intimidated of telling anyone about their situation)

lol.

Edited by: AJ_Quick

That's valid too

AJ_Quick wrote: So let me get this straight.

NO, let me get this straight:
I meant WOMEN (WOMEN, as written) in general, MEN (MEN, as written) in general, i.e. future generations.

What would you do to prevent the escalation of domestic violence in the future? Put cams in every home, introducing a digital tyranny?

Men, as victims of violence, AS YOU COULD SEE IN THOSE STATISTICS, are a minority. So we should rather talk about finding out the SOURCE of such behaviours.

And video games could be excluded - rarely saw a video game that contained "wife beating" sequence (except for The Prototype, where the main "protagonist" is killing his partner, but even that cutscene is highly censored, i.e. the actual killing isn't shown, it's rather implicit).

Your "civilised" world is a wankery. And soon, up to 2012 12 21, it'll be dealt with. Completely. Who will have the last laugh, we'll see! Can't wait for Israel to nuke Damascus. At least there will be justice for America, Israel and all nations going to bed with these devils of consumerism! ^^

PS Terrorism: a product of American propaganda, because real terrorists are still in the USA, and in Israel, which occupies & terrorises innocent civilians.

wasn't entirely sure, but now convinced. Yep. you're as nutty as a squirrel's balls, feillyne.

What exactly are you doing on a modding website ? Shouldn't you be on some wacky conspiracy theorist IRC channel posting pictures of crop circles and discussing the similarities between water and human blood

Edited by: AJ_Quick

Men, as victims of violence, AS YOU COULD SEE IN THOSE STATISTICS, are a minority.

Holy shit, he's gone from spousal abuse to bat-shit crazy Anti-Israel/American rants in record time (and off tangent all on his own)! Sadly I don't have a tinfoil hat or troll fodder, so I can no longer participate in this thread.

Edited by: Cryrid

Cryrid wrote: They still took up 40% in the more recent statistics (according to your first link), and there's an arguable embarrassment factor which might have many male victims shamed into silence (a 6'2'' man might not want to let people know that he's getting beat by his wife), not to mention federal funding and services for such matters can be limited to women and children only.

The first link, statistics in America, 40%, are you kidding? Where exactly?

Cryrid wrote: Holy shit, he's gone from spousal abuse to bat-shit crazy Anti-Israel/American rants in record time! Sadly I don't have a tinfoil hat or troll fodder, so I can no longer participate in this thread.

That was a response to his wankery. And AJ_Quick perhaps will mark these words when Israel actually nukes Damascus. Fortunately for all the world, he won't have time to prepare himself. And that will be the whole fun! :-D

Edited by: feillyne

The first link, statistics in America, 40%, are you kidding? Where exactly?

"Approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States."
Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 183781, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at iv (2000), available at Ojp.usdoj.gov

Edited by: Cryrid

Cryrid wrote:

The first link, statistics in America, 40%, are you kidding? Where exactly?

"Approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States."
Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 183781, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at iv (2000), available at Ojp.usdoj.gov

Don't bother dude, Math doesn't work on the clinically insane

Cryrid wrote:

The first link, statistics in America, 40%, are you kidding? Where exactly?

"Approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States."
Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 183781, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, at iv (2000), available at Ojp.usdoj.gov

Strange, I see it the first time. It's a report from November 2000, isn't it?

The document about domestic violece in the UK states:

While both men and women may experience incidents of inter-personal violence,
women are considerably more likely to experience repeated and severe forms of
violence. 32% of women who had ever experienced domestic violence did so four or
five (or more) times, compared with 11% of the (smaller number) of men who had ever
experienced domestic violence; and women constituted 89% of all those who had
experienced 4 or more incidents of domestic violence. (Walby and Allen, 2004) These
points are not always evident in statistical summaries (for example those produced by
the Home Office) as they focus on single incidents, rather than on the complex pattern
of overlapping and repeated abuse perpetrated within a context of power and control.

Source: Womensaid.org.uk (download, don't have the direct link), page 5

Edited by: feillyne

Maps.google.com

"While both men and women may experience incidents of inter-personal violence, women are considerably more likely to experience repeated and severe forms of violence."

"(...)and women constituted 89% of all those who had experienced 4 or more incidents of domestic violence."

The difference between being "assaulted" once or four/five (& more) times.

"Approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually in the United States." (The research in the USA.)
-> how many of them are assaulted once or more times? The statistics/research based in the UK shows a gap between continued assaulting.

So taking statistics of assaults in the USA, w/o better/deeper data, could be premature.

Edited by: feillyne

Now repeat it a few more times until you realize that you're talking about a much more specific form of domestic violence, in a completely different region. Numbers will vary across the globe and depending on what sort of specific criteria you're looking for (in Canada for instance, the number of male victims seem to be on the rise, weapons are used more often against male victims than against females, and charges are laid less with male victims).

And really, does it matter? If 2/3 of drunk drivers globally were male, would you want to withhold your idealistic education from the millions of female drunk drivers who could be out their slamming into things? Why withhold such education from anyone, when it would seem anyone could be affected? If educational is your proposed solution, share it.

Yeah, only the thing is that you'd educate/help drunk drivers to give up their specific addiction (even after an accident, an irreversible deed), and those who e.g. use drugs, to give up their own addiction. Two different cases, and you need to 'profile' the education.

The whole point is that males commit more violence, and more frequently. While it's good to educate both women and men generally about domestic violence, it'd be even more efficient to find the exact source of such behaviours in men themselves - exactly why males are committing it MUCH more frequently against the women, and then base special learning programs / research on it, not the general education that can be shared anyway.

Symptoms are symptoms, finding the source & the exact treatment is the key.

What do you think? What can be the cause? Salaries, money? Hardly the culture.

I own a wife beater shirt, its comfy. What are you guys talking about?

are you going to make a mod out of this?

I sometimes get this feeling that men (at least in america) are pushed into this "You're fucking evil incarnate" category every once in a while by women and we just kinda accept it even though we're getting a bit screwed over by it ...

There are tons of women's colleges, women's scolarships, women's shelters, women's hospitals, etc in america ... and the simple truth is if you ever tried to open a "men only" anything without a "separate but equal" counterpart, you would be sued into oblivion by some extreme feminist.

I remember the awkwardness when we had a girl from our school try out for the football team. Legally in america, you have to let women try out for all sports if there is no "separate but equal" counterpart like high school football. However, a guy cannot join a volleyball team because its considered an unfair advantage. (legally you could probably dispute this ... but, any guy dumb enough to do so would go on with the rest of his life unlaid ...)

Anyway, when she joined the team, I remember thinking that we now have a huge problem on our hands and I wasn't sure what our coaches were going to do. The way I saw it they had two options a) continue with practice as if nothing has changed or b) tone the intensity of practices down and pretend like thats what we normally do.

a) was a potential bomb ... if we went with "a" and she felt like she
was being victimized for being a girl ... the entire school could get
into extremely deep shit (like shut down the school because of being
sued into oblivion deep)

b) is most likely extremely offensive to women, but keep in mind that our practices we're intense enough to make freshmen puke ... pretty regularly (there was one kid who would puke every other day) ... she had little athletic background (she was bad at other girls sports, hence why she tried football) and she joined late in the season.

Anywho, the coaches decided to tone it down a bit, but it was fortunately/unfortunately still too much for her to handle and she quit without protest a week later ...

The story of the thick uncut-table awkwardness in the air during hitting drills that one week I'll save for some other day ...

I also remember one time when I was a kid (9 ish?), I was getting my ASS HANDED to me by a girl in my neighborhood (she was hitting me with a pretty big stick for kicks, I had welts and scratches across my back from it) I told her to quit several times but she kept doing it. I eventually lost my temper, grabbed her, and slammed her against a wall and screamed at her "STOP IT! THAT FUCKING HURTS!". She started crying and ran home (I felt horrible at the time). She then told her parents, her parents told my parents. I received the spanking of a lifetime.

That's when I first realized you're not allowed to defend yourself against women. Ever. ... Its probably that same unwritten rule engrained in most guys that keeps the male majority from protesting against women based schools, hospitals, etc.

Edited by: Assaultman67

LOL... a friend of mine beats/kicks her fiancé, just to make him feel that he really lives. O.o Though she's a masochist, gets her dose back, too, IIRC.

So you're allowed to defend yourself against women.

Provided that they're masochists. Otherwise you'd better hope she will forget about you. ;-)

That's when I first realized you're not allowed to defend yourself against women. Ever. ... Its probably that same unwritten rule engrained in most guys that keeps the male majority from protesting against women based schools, hospitals, etc.

The latter part goes beyond gender, as it applies to race/ethnicity/religion/etc as well.
Perhaps worth noting that according to Donald Dutton and Tonia Nicholls from the Department of Psychology at UBC, female violence has increased as male violence has decreased in countries that have been most progressive about equality (and you will have a harder time finding a shelter for men).

Really, it's rather pointless to think it's more efficient to find behavioral factors in men only, when behavioral factors could very easily be preventing men from reporting incidents of violence (or even how we define violence).

"It has also been found that many kinds of behavior, such as pushing and slapping, are experienced by both genders, but are mainly called "violence" by female victims. Early studies that merely asked "have you been a victim of domestic violence" did find far lower levels of male victims; but when they asked about specific behaviors ("have you been slapped, punched,...), the numbers evened out. Justice Department studies show that men are 32% less likely than women to report any form of violent victimization". [source]

Apparently when it comes to the first blow there's a 3% difference between which gender threw it. Women do tend to be more likely to take more damage during such a fight (I'm guessing this is where genetics comes into play, as hormones that determine things like muscle mass don't care for gender equality), but to counter that women are more likely to use weapons or seek other people to kill their partner (something that doesn't count towards domestic violence stats). It's also worth noting that many of the statistics posted only concern 'intimate partner violence'; when you look into other forms of household violence like child abuse, the numbers can be quite different. Focusing on male perpetrators only wouldn't be efficient; it seems more counter productive and arguably ignorant to the big list of possible factors involved (why even ask what the cause is, after proposing a solution?). Seriously, just use Google when you have a question. There's a massive amount of research out there into all the different possible causes involved, which more than likely would answer any question you'd have on the subject. You're sure as hell more likely to get an educated answer on sites and communities related to the subject than on a game mod community.