Hello, it is my first custom story and hope you enjoy it! Your name is Logan, an expert at chemistry. The monster kidnapped you because they want you to make chemicals for them. Destroy their chemical factory and escape.
Positives:
- Not a regular "you wake up in an unkown castle" story
- No lame jumpscares
- Music
Negatives:
- 95% key quests
- Plain, no details, boring and repeditive gameplay
- Short story and very smal maps
- Missing ceiling in the flooded map and the water texture made no sense
- Notes made no sense
- Lame and rushed ending
What to improve:
Mapping:
While the levels are relativly free from texture glitches, the maps in this story are very empty and have no details at all. It seems like you were lazy and placed a couple of barrels somewhere and then just copied them because they are all placed and rotated the same way everywhere.
The flooded map. First of all, it was extremly obvious that a water monster was coming, but what really got my attention where your texture selection and missing ceiling. Why does it look like it's a river? It's inside a house...
Both the archive and "chemical lab" were so extremly rushed and lame. The archive - wow, two bookshelfs and the same book copied like 7 times, magically floating on the water surface.
"Chemical lab" - no chemicals what so ever and the monsters left a button which could destroy the whole facility if you click on it (TV cartoons in a nutshell). You should also add pillars at the end of walls so we can't see through them.
Add more than just key quests, please. And the crowbar (during the crowbar quest) is placed at the wrong side of the door.
Notes:
The first note is made by me, right? So, why did I write it and then picked it up? Makes no sense. The two notes in the mansion map made no sense either to be honest. Looked like an advanced puzzle. Turned out all I had to do was finding a key.
Conclusion:
You though of a story and it wasn't bad for a first made CS, but I rate all stories the same way and to be honest, this one was boring and empty. I decided to give it a 3/10 anyway though because it's a good start and you have potential.
3/10 - Bad
.... I couldn't find the very first key... I know you're the dev, but get someone to play it first, (a play tester) and see how they manage, I'm assuming the key was in some stupidly ridiculous spot, but I checked all over the floor and in the drawers a few times and couldn't find it.
Finished...
Positives:
-Music
-You tried to make an un-cliche storyline
Negatives:
-Mapping was god awful in the last two maps
-Notes - not any kind of sense even the smallest
-Key quests were endless
Story: ✕
Monsters captured you so you can make chemicals for them. At least the idea was unique, but very badly made. 3/10
Mapping: ✕
Bland in the most areas. Storage area was the best from the mod, but all other maps were very empty. But the last two maps. few of the worst maps I've ever seen, honestly. Water running in the house like a river, and every single item was floating in the air. Fair enough, but all the rooms were empty as hell. Come on. 2/10
Scare factor: ✕
Few effective scares, few fine monster encounters / chases. Otherwise poor, as the atmosphere was nonexisting. 3/10
Puzzles: ✕
90% of the puzzles were key quests, one crowbar puzzle. Enough said. 2/10
Atmosphere / Music: ✕
Atmosphere was nonexisting, but you used music in your maps. Music is important thing in mods, and you used it. Good. 3/10
Overall:
The score, when calculated, leads to 2.6, which is enough to raise the score to 3/10.
I don't recommend this story to anyone.
3/10 - Bad
I thought this custom story was actually pretty damn good. Mostly searching for keys that were pretty hard to find and hiding/running from monsters. But I enjoyed it. Thank you and I hope to see more from you.
Alright, my review on this.
Firstly, for a first custom story this was nothing special. I checked around a little bit in the first room. A few messed up textures in there with poorly placed roof, but its nothing too serious. And the key... It might be just me that was being stupid or something, maybe threw the key around somewhere. But I found it eventually, after running out of oil and having the gamma on 2.
Then the storage. It looked actually interesting as you moved on to the foggy areas. A bothering thing though, the scares. I know they are nothing but sounds, but they are played where the player is located. I would recommend playing the sounds somewhere in a far distance, where the player can feel startled as something is following him instead.
Now, what really made me give this rating was the Archives. That nearly looked like a beta level. It wasn't properly done either. The Brute and Kaernk was both bugged and I know why. There are no extra pathnodes that allows the Brute to search. There were only the important pathnodes that were added. I literally had to walk up to the Brute and make him chase me through the door to make him understand. Then I had to lure him to break down the door, because I was pretty sure if I died, the door wouldn't have automatically broken down or started another brute to do the job.
Well, this is your first custom story and I can accept that it is not perfect, but if you can improve on your next one, I would play it again.