Ab's Mod is a mod I started when I was 17.

After months of toying around with the engine, I eventually decided to buckle down and try to make a full mod based for the original campaign maps, and make it an absolute disaster a la Crack-Life but less racist.

I started in January 2019, and got very little done--but by August, I realized I had to finish what I started and, especially since the credits said I made it when I was 17 and I forgot where the credits file was and I wanted to keep it honest, I rushed as much as I possibly could before I turned 18 a few months later.

This is, to an extent, half-finished; there's many files I didn't get to modifying, but I promised to people I'd release it on Christmas, so here it is. Have fun, I guess.


There is a bug I'm aware of where the audio engine within Goldsrc will seemingly die if it tries to play an audio file that is longer than about two and a half minutes--this becomes a problem because some sounds in this mod are longer than two and a half minutes. I cannot exactly fix this, as I'd probably have to re-write parts of Goldsrc engine code and I wouldn't ever want to do that.

Also, the unobtainable MP5 and Tau Cannon are intentional--those weapons are stupid. I made other weapons more stupid and broken, try those.

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Ab's Mod: Proper Audio Credits


ab's mod audio credits

because the original credits format in the game only allows like three screens and i couldn't add in like 15 to account for every stupid file i used

many of these will have direct links to audio as well so have fun


alien_beacon: Silent Hill 2 Dog Ending YTPMV that sampled an old recording by Lily

alien_blipper: Merzbow - Woodpecker No. 1

alien_builder, alienwind2: FAttY SPiNS - Doin' Your Mom

alien_chatter: Gummibär - I'm a Gummy Bear (Instrumental)

alien_creeper: Mario Says Shit

alien_cycletone: Title Theme - Crazy Frog Racer 2

alien_frantic: Zero-G - Distorted Trumpets

alien_hollow: second half of a file my friend kate sent me of her saying "ass cheeks, poop ass"

alien_humongo: Zero-G - Is that the door?

alien_minddrill: this BagelBoy video

alien_powernode: Papers, Please Theme

alien_purrmachine: Wild Woody - Monkey Flush

alien_squit: duck quack

alien_twow: edit of kate's "ass cheeks, poop ass" recording

alien_zonerator: Sonic 3D Blast - Panic Puppet Act 1

aliencave1: Wolfenstein 3D - Wondering About My Loved Ones

alienclicker1, biotone, burning1 - 3: gabber kick

alienfazzle1: various hamtaro circles i mashed together

alienflyby1: stock male scream that i have no idea who owns anymore

alienlaser1: slowed down fart_d

alienvalve1, alienvalve2: Wild Woody - The Pit

alienvoices1: Bike Power

alienwind1: JJBA - Awaken (Pillar Men Theme)

bee1, bee2, flies, sparks: Ding Ding

biggun1 - 3, distantmortar1 - 4, mgun_burst1 - 4: [YTP] SALAMI

bugwarning, siren: Drake and Josh The Bet Edited

boomer: PC Speaker Monkey Island 2 Intro

breather: Orange Factory Music - Aviator Sunglasses

computalk1: S25 Russian Man "Control"

computalk2: G02 Swedish Rhapsody

cricket: Missy Elliot - On and On

crickets: old recording of me saying "pee pee" with my fucked up headset mic

crtnoise, deadsignal1, deadsignal2: Hamood Habibi

des_wind1 - 3: Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings

disgusting: recording of one who will not be named due to them being problematic

drips: limewire joke where some files youd download would be bill clinton advertising www.ifreeclub.com

dronemachine1 - 3: Alan Parsons Project - I, Robot

flamesburst1: AVGN yelling "ASS"

hammer: geoffrey butler saying ointments

industrial1: BAD Apple!!

industrial2: Rob Hubbard - Rasputin

industrial3: Luigi Thunder

industrial4, labmoan: SSTV signal

jetflyby1: Napalm Sticks to Kids

labdrone1, labdrone2: AVGN Episode 27 - Silver Surfer

labgear: Childish Gambino - Sweatpants

littlemachine, signalgear1, signalgear2, steamjet1, xtal_down1, zipmachine: Laziest Man on Mars - Invasion of the Gabber Robots

mechwine: Ding Fries are Done

particle_suck1: Insane Clown Posse - Get Off Me, Dog!

particle_suck2: Look Mum No Computer circuit bending a minions toy

port_suckin1: MIKEY JAY

port_suckout1: Cartoon Splat Noise

pounder: Lemon Demon - My Trains

pulsemachine, rocketflame1: LUCiD - TMPGEnc 2.524.63.181kg

pumper: Banjo Kazooie - Mumbo Mountain

rifle1, rifle2: DJ Airhorn

rocket_groan1 - 4, rocket_steam1: BABABOOEY

rocketrumble1: Mario falling

rotormachine: ABBA - Dancing Queen

screammachine: I Hate My Dad

squeeks1: Donkey Kong 64 - DK Rap

squeeks2: bitcrushed and edited Get Off Me, Dog!

squirm2: TF2 Heavy "Put Dispenser Here"

squitch: Gummibär - I'm a Gummy Bear

squitch2: Crazy Frog - Axel F

steamburst1: fart_d

tankdrivein1, tankdrivein2: dukes of hazzard horn, the sound specifically came from san francisco rush 2049

tankidle1, tankidle2, truck1, truck2, turretrot1, turretrot2: some ted talk video of this dude playing a didgeridoo

techamb1: G02 Swedish Rhapsody

techamb2: voicemail i got from a friend in 2018

the_horror1: edit of this video of biggie smalls disappearing

the_horror2: vinesauce vinny doing an impression of jay leno

the_horror3: will little creature text to speech voice

the_horror4: back to back cuts of me screaming when i was 11 - 13

warn1: DIC(k)

warn2: sonic 3 buzzer

warn3: stock fart sound that i have no idea what stock company owns

waterfall1 - 3: Hunnid-P - A Ghost's Pumpkin Soup

wind1, wind2: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater menu

zapmachine: Undertale - Hopes and Dreams


stock fart sound effects


recording kate sent me of her burping (iirc i asked her to give me sounds and thats the only thing she sent back)


generic lines are mostly drake and josh edited the bet or other generic youtube poop samples

c1a0_ba_button: Hotel Mario Theme

c1a0_ba_desk: morshu from link: the faces of evil, pingas

c1a0_ba_headdown: DurhamRockerZ - Boggle Crunch

c1a0_ba_hevno: morshu from link: the faces of evil, Hotel Mario Theme

c1a0_ba_hevyes: leeroy jenkins

c1a0_ba_late: ganon from link: the faces of evil

c1a1_ba_glad: generic popup ad sound that im not sure anyone knows the original source to

c1a2_ba_2zomb: DIC(k)

c1a2_ba_4zomb: ganon from zelda: the wand of gamelon

c1a2_ba_bullsquid: ganon from link: the faces of evil

c1a2_ba_climb: will little creature text to speech voice

c1a2_ba_goforit: Laziest Man on Mars - Invasion of the Gabber Robots

c1a2_ba_top, c1a4_ba_octo1 - 4: this video of mario smoking a blunt (turns out its just gone off the face of the earth oh well, take my word for it)

c1a4_ba_wisp: this other video of mario smoking a blunt

c2a1_ba_again, c2a1_ba_hub1a, c2a1_ba_hub2a: loudest orgasm in the world

c2a2_ba_launch: mario on fire

c2a3_ba_assn: Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff


fart_d + crying baby


quake 2 enforcer sounds. thats all of them


bell1, button9, lever1: stock fart sound effects

blip1: fart_d

blip2: pop from Gummibär - I'm a Gummy Bear

button1: mario saying "boing"

button2: sa2 animal popping out of a pipe

button3: sa2 score slam

button4: sa2 animal collect

button5: sa2 rank slam

button6: sa2 text hit

button7: sonic 3 bubble shield

button8: sonic 3 blue sphere collect

button10, latchunlocked1, latchunlocked2, lever3 - 5: 11 year old me screaming

button11: 808 cowbell

latchlocked1, latchlocked2: alpha half-life player sounds

lever2, lightswitch2: ytp sexer

spark1 - 6: sonic 3 spark


bodydrop1 - 4: TOILET_KICK

wpn_hudoff, wpn_hudon, wpn_moveselect: quake menu sounds


aliendoor1 - 5: wolfenstein 3d soldier death

doormove1: The Notorious B.I.G. - Big Poppa (Instrumental)

doormove2, doormove4: diddy kong commits genocide

doormove3: Final Fantasy XIV - The Twinning

doormove5: SA2 stage start

doormove6: Mario falling

doormove7 - 10: Altered Beast - Level 1

doorstop1, doorstop4: yoshi saying balls

doorstop2: Mario Says Shit

doorstop3: stock metal clang soung

doorstop5: Cartoon Splat Noise

doorstop6 - 8: Mario hitting a wall


microsoft sam saying "soisoisois" (roflcopter)


deltarune jevil lines


ending speech is a recording when i had a respiratory illness and decided to record myself reading chapter 2 of SONIC HIGH SCHOOL. i also left the original recording in the files by accident and i didnt want to re-submit the file since the verification time took a while

gman_mumble1 - 6: Caramella Girls - Caramelldansen


deltarune jevil lines

c2a3_hg_1 - 5drag, c2a3_hg_laugh: nuts.com ad


he_attack1 - 3: Deus Ex - UNATCO

ag_hornethit1 - 3: Deus Ex Male Death


he_attack1 - 3: sonic 3 laser charge

he_blast1 - 3: sonic 3 laser blast


will little creature text to speech voice


9mmclip1, 9mmclip2: alpha half-life player sounds

flashlight1: Cartoon Boing Sound

gunpickup1 - 4: quake menu sounds

medcharge4, medshot4: Deltarune - Hip Shop

medshotno1, suitchargeno1: ytp sexer

suitcharge1, suitchargeok1: Suckin' Toes (originally came across it in MMD video with goku and a roblox noob dancing)


bigmove1, freightmove1, freightmove2: Metal Masters - Metal Beat

bigmove2: Wolfenstein 3D - End of Level

elevbell1: sa1 sonic woohoo

elevmove1 - 3, heavymove1, rackmove1: The Grinch - Who Dump

railmove1: Altered Beast - Level 1

railstop1: Altered Beast "Rise From Your Grave"

talkmove1: Wild Woody - The Pit

ttrain1 - 7: Vengaboys - Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!


breathe1: Dragonforce - Through the Fire and Flames

gieger1 - 6: MisfitMuda yelling fuck in class


rch_smash: Cartoon Splat Noise

rch_walk: Runescape - Artistry


entire character is jc denton from deus ex, a lot of lines i sometimes put the effort in to contextually fit but a lot of them i just threw in


all sounds from crack-life, didnt even bother with this one. samples from r lee ermey from full metal jacket


various windows xp sounds


san francisco rush 2049 menu sounds


farts: Baltimora - Tarzan Boy. not sure why i named this file that

deal: recording of me yelling through a megaphone


cbar_hit1, cbar_hit2, cbar_hitbod1 - 3: kenshiro from fist of the north star

debris1 - 3: Insane Clown Posse - The Show Must Go On

egon_off1, g_bounce1 - 5, grenade_hit1 - 3: Cartoon Boing Sound

egon_run3: My Chemical Romance - Helena (originally was gonna use black parade but there wasnt a good loop point that didnt crash miles sound system)

explode3 - 5: recording of my friend eve coughing

pl_gun1 - 3: alpha half-life player sounds

sshell1 - 3, xbow_fire1: fart_d

xbow_hit1, xbow_hit2: Cartoon Splat Noise

xbox_reload1: fart_d reversed


mostly recordings of my friend kurt talking about his day

nih_die2: recording of me violently squirting a bottle of chocolate syrup

x_die1, x_teleattack1: S3RL - MTC

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ab's mod

ab's mod

Full Version 6 comments

Ab's Mod is a mod I made when I was 17. It's scary.

Comments  (0 - 10 of 11)


Reply Good karma Bad karma-1 votes

Crack life is better

Reply Good karma Bad karma+2 votes

A drifting tender
Come ride. heroes, ride
Her galleon severed
Away with the tide

The storm heads gather
Come ride, heroes, ride
Illusions scattered
Away with the tide

Do weathered warriors wander their way whither wanting wonders wait.
Hark the heralds, anchors aweigh! Hither happens mine escape.
Freedom forgone, sinking apace. Comets crumble, Phoebus fades.
Under cosmic clamor decayed, hides a path untaken.

Ancient echoes
Come ride, heroes, ride
In deafening silence
Away with the tide

A wave of hazard
Come ride. heroes, ride
A-whorling inward
Away with the tide

Stellar stories starward bestrewn. slipping sidewise; see, they're snakes.
Twixt the leaves you'll find naught amiss-missing aughts and crossing fates.
Freedom surgent shifting ahead. comets dancing in her wake
To the cosmic clarion's accord, along the path not taken.

Try. dare the dead tread ahead on a road that is borrowed design.
Through the sum of their sons do they seek tomorrow
Tonight, witness then as the end shall begin what was final.
Their lies, folding back, further back. ever back to the primal.

Reply Good karma Bad karma+1 vote

>Crack-Life but less racist.

Reply Good karma Bad karma+2 votes

Paul Blarts messup mod on Christian holiday BETA

Reply Good karma Bad karma+4 votes

what is this

Reply Good karma Bad karma+5 votes

****** mod

Reply Good karma Bad karma+5 votes

oh my god when are people going to stop making ****** unfunny cracklife style messup mods

Reply Good karma Bad karma+9 votes

christ man why are you so angry over this

Reply Good karma Bad karma-2 votes

Would be great if you messup mod makers would go to the shadow realm

Reply Good karma Bad karma+1 vote

They essentially just wants a free game.

Reply Good karma Bad karma-3 votes
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