=СРБ=Ori`verda

Milos, the Ranger Commander joined Oct 20, 2010

Greetings, stranger. Welcome to my page. I am Ori'verda AKA Milos and I currently live in the Netherlands. I like games, girls, books, movies and teamwork. Also I enjoy discussing about religion, politics, history and such affairs. And ignore the fact that a lot of my groups are Science-Fiction related, I love Sci-Fi for good reasons! ☢ ☢ ☢ P.S. The video with the redhead is not porn! I may be a crazy Serbian but I'm not that crazy. Besides that I'm a goof, in fact to show you I am going to fill up the my description with random banter, why? Yeah you guessed it, I'm not that strange or weird it is in fact to get a HTML code to work, if you don't know what that is good luck. Regardless I suppose I should continue filling out this description field according to that manual so I can get a cooler description, I don't know if that makes sense to you but according to the manual it works so it must work right? Well it should otherwise you would not be seeing this... Or would you? SRB FTW!

Report article RSS Feed Chuck Norris jokes

Posted by =СРБ=Ori`verda on Apr 21st, 2011

Chuck Norris? meh, but here are some funny jokes about his so called awesome-ness.

Chuck Norris died years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet

Chuck Norris drinks Tabasco when he's thirsty

Chuck Norris doesn't play the game Sorry He's never sorry

Chuck Norris can text on a payphone

Chuck Norris can speak with his echo

Switzerland is politically neutral because they don't know on which side Chuck Norris stands

Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick

Chuck norris fly fishes for whales

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories

Chuck Norris can shut the door open

Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

If you rate this roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass

Chuck Norris died years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life

Chuck Norris doesn't lie, he makes up truths

Chuck Norris gave Dr Phil advice

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land

Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a jokethat truck is now known as Optimus Prime

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Chuck Norris doesn't lick postage stamps, he stares at them until they wet themselves

On a trip to Italy, Chuck Norris rested for three seconds against a buildingit's now known as the Leaning Tower of Pisa

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves

When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebooke, you die

Chuck Norris doesn't wash dishes, they wet themselves out of fear

Chuck Norris beat Halo on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin Its decendants are known today as Giraffes

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake After three days of pain and agony the rattle snake died

Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen Seconds

Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed

Chuck Norris doesn't have to hold his breath under water Water knows better than to try and drown Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris stares at the Sun, the Sun goes blind

The original title for Alien vs Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris
The film was led shortly after going into preproduction No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long

There is no theory of evolution Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live

Chuck Norris can kill two birds with no stone

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth

Chuck Norris once shot down a plane by pointing at it and saying "boom"

Chuck Norris once beat a wall at tenis

Chuck Norris killed his living room It is now just "the room"

Chuck Norris can snipe with a shotgun

Post comment Comments
ratatuj93
ratatuj93 Apr 21 2011, 12:26pm says:

Sometimes it's really funny to read these jokes, but sometimes (than they're posted to youtube comments) they're really annoying.

+1 vote     reply to comment
_w_
_w_ Apr 21 2011, 3:34pm replied:

that's true.
i loled at the first one already BTW

+1 vote     reply to comment
=СРБ=Ori`verda
=СРБ=Ori`verda Apr 22 2011, 4:03am replied:

The meh thing or the death thing? the meh part is not a joke thats my opinion on the guy.

+1 vote     reply to comment
SRB-HawkEye-
SRB-HawkEye- Apr 22 2011, 6:16pm says:

Znas li zašto je Chuck Norris najači??? Vežba dva dana dnevno! :D

+2 votes     reply to comment
=СРБ=Ori`verda
=СРБ=Ori`verda Apr 23 2011, 3:31am replied:

L-O-L

+2 votes     reply to comment
Arcones
Arcones Apr 25 2011, 7:52pm says:

Good stuff :P

One of the last ones I've heard this way: Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. :D

+3 votes     reply to comment
(LONEWOLF)
(LONEWOLF) Apr 27 2011, 3:51pm says:

that's great stuff i about died

+1 vote     reply to comment
=СРБ=Ori`verda
=СРБ=Ori`verda Apr 28 2011, 4:31am replied:

Glad to be of service.

+2 votes     reply to comment
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