What am I? Something of a deity amongst rabbits. I've never understood why but hey, you take what you can get. Also the lead programmer for a Source Engine modification called Nox Aeterna. Go check it out. Now. I command thee.
Well, you're here now. Or not. You can leave. I'm really doing this for my own entertainment. Actually, you probably shouldn't be here. Go away.
Anyway ,You gotta love the Germanic way of creating words. I mean, take the adjective 'linguistic'. As an English speaker, you know what it means. It means having to do with languages, right? But you couldn't just figure that out by looking at it, if you had never seen the word before. Unless you spoke Latin, you wouldn't recognize the root word 'lingua', meaning language or tongue. But the German adjective meaning linguistic is 'sprachlich'. Quite literally, the word means 'languagely', or 'speakly'. Just from looking at the word, a German speaker, only knowing the verb 'sprachen' (to speak) and the suffix '-lich' (-ly), could figure out, not knowing any other language, "oh, speak-ly. That must mean having to do with speech!" English just doesn't have that kind of beautiful simplicity anymore. Those fucking mentally retarded hipster medieval scholars and their god-dammed intellectual circle-jerking ruined what was once a beautiful Germanic language, and turned it into a fucking bastardization of Latin and french because they thought that English was 'too low' and 'nonintellectual'. Fucking cock-suckers could have just gone and licked their own butt holes and have been happy but nooOOOoo, they had to go fuck everyone else and ram their tiny, half-centimeter wide dicks up the gaping asses of the poor, starving masses, and turn the English language into a bumbling mess of bullshit spelling and nonsensical pronunciation in the process. Let's look at the word 'island', shall we? Island. Aye-land. Why the fuck is it spelled with an 'S', you ask? A good fucking question! You see, kids, back in the good ol' medieval ages, there were some scholars, like I mentioned before, who got a raging nerd boner every time someone mentioned the Latin language and subsequently got off to the thought of ramming the italic language down English's every orifice until there was nothing left but goddamned Latin! One of the ways in which they aspired to do this was by taking English words and modifying the spelling to more closely resemble Latin. In Old English, the word island was spelt jland. This quite accurately reflected the pronunciation of the word, which was essentially the same as it is now. "But wait, Herr Kaninchen Meister!", you say, "Jay-land? That doesn't sound much like how it's pronounced!" You say that now, like the fucking imbecile you really are, but in Old English, the letter 'J' at the beginning of a word like that was pronounced 'aye'. 'I' was pronounced shorter, like 'ih'. So it isn't 'jay-land', it's 'aye-land'. The spelling shifted over time, though, so by the 800's or so it became 'iland'. I didn't fact-check that date. Now that that's out of the way, let's move on to the latin. The cock-sucking scholars looked at iland and thought, "How do we force-feed this word some latin roots until it chokes and drowns to death in a vile, steaming cesspool of our italiophile demon-semen? Hmmm... here's a word! Insula!" Now in Latin, the word insula means something like 'detached house' or 'tenement'. Not altogether iland, but one can more or less observe the linkage. The word insula, straightforward, has an 'S' in it. So to render iland in the Latin manner, the cock-sucking, Latin-lusting learnands sought to grant iland with a meaningless, bastard 'S', and thus island it became. In short, I'm a little bit of an English language purist. Look it up at anglish.wikia.com/wiki/Headside. It might be a little bit hipster-ish to some, but it's pretty cool seeing English written with only Scandinavian and Germanic word roots, as opposed to Latin and French, which I just spent a whole paragraph complaining about.
Actually, I sincerely hope you haven't read this far. If you have, you need some better hobbies. Unless, of course, you're simply THAT infatuated with my amazing writing, in which case, feel free to keep on keepin' on.
If you are reading this, you really need something better to do. As do I, seeing as how I posted this. Here's a dialogue in Middle English, for your troubles:
Some Dude: Haueþ þou ān name? Or haueþ þou maniȝe namen?
Trogdor: Ich haue þrī namen! Þou kun nā min swag handlen!
Some Dude: Nā, þou discomfiteþ mī! Min myght is for nought!
Trogdor: Trogdor boncheþ eft!
Again in German, because I'm really fucking bored:
Some Dude: Haben Sie einen Namen? Oder haben Sie viele Namen?
Trogdor: Ich habe drei Namen! Sie können nicht mein Swag bedienen!
Some Dude: Nein, Sie besiegen mich! Meine Stärke ist für nichts!
Trogdor: Trogdor wieder schlägt!
Seriously. If you're still fucking reading this, you have issues.
Shhh!!! The walls have.... diCKSSSSS!!!