Comment

The rail on top looks odd. Why use it instead of the picatinny rails on the rest of the rifle?

Yes!

*has aneurysm trying comprehend the concept*

The game just keeps looking better and better.

Awesome that you made your target. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

Love the eyes!

Oh god, I'd forgotten SoF2 (probably because of number 3). It really does have the best damage model.

This is starting to look good.

I hope this is in .300 Blackout or .338 Spectre, for maximum suppressed ability.

Excellent news! I thought this game was all but dead, but now it looks like we're still going to get the best looking DP based game yet!

Something about them looks unnatural. The textures look fantastic, though!

Simply amazing.

That's perfectly understandable. Thanks for taking the time to tell us.

Creepy doll head is creepy.

Yes. The original version was chambered for 7.62x39mm Soviet, and later versions were also chambered in several of the experimental rounds that lead to the development of the 5.45x39mm.

It's a real shame that the rifle never got off the ground. It was simple and easy to make, very reliable and easy to clean. Ugly as all hell, but a very solid rifle.

"BTW, I never put much effort into the sleeves simply because, well, its never seen really, ever."

You sure you didn't put much effort into them? Because, for something that didn't have a lot of work put in them, the sleeves look amazing.

That is some fantastic work! I love all the details you've put into it, like the cracked fingernails.

I cannot stress how much I love the fact that you're using the M17. Just a quick question, what happened to the charging handle?

Looking good!

You're just thinking of Tartarus. Hades also ruled over the Asphodel Meadows and Elysium, which can be compared more or less to Purgatory and Heaven.

I quite like it. It's a very original take on zombies and Greek mythology. The only thing that stands out to me as an issue is your combining of the Mount Olympus with Heaven. They're really not comparable, and the Greeks didn't have angels. In fact, Hades ruled over what could be considered the Greek version of heaven.

I think you'd be better off changing the references to angels and Heaven to nymphs/gods and Mount Olympus.

The lack of paragraphs prevented me from reading the story. If it had been shorter I might have given it a shot, but the story's too long for me to even attempt to read it without paragraphs.

Oh boy, that looks amazing!

In another vein, there seems to be sentences or even paragraphs missing. One moment Horro hears a pebble hit his window and the next he is talking to Wrawk and, going by the text, seeing him, but yet we never see him wonder who threw the rock, conclude that it must be Wrawk and go over to the window. We also don't get a good description of Wrawk. Is he a gnome (I'm assuming he is), how old is he, how long have they been friends, what does he do for a living, what does he look like, etc? Detail is very important in stories, because it's the only way the reader can visualise things.

So, yeah, that's about it.

One final thing: you've obviously put a bit of thought into the world, but it would be good to see that same sort of detail in the writing. We're not really given a description of what any of the races mentioned so far look like, beyond the fact that Andrians have beaks, feathers and, presumably, bird style eyes. A brief description of both races, their general roles in the country that they're living in (I'm assuming that Orkmoth is gnomish) and how people tend to view them would be handy, and it means that you only need to mention those things again if there's something unusual about one character or another. It would also help to explain why Wrawk starts a fight with the Andrians for no reason other than that they laughed at him. Given his behaviour, either Andrians have a pretty bad reputation, gnomes have a fierce temper and put a lot of stock in honour, or there is something really wrong with Wrawk. It would be good know if what we're seeing is culturally acceptable or the act of a psychopath.

The lack of description goes deeper than that. At the start of the story, Grawmar is pouring molten iron into the forge. Why is he doing that? How did he get the iron melted to begin with (aka why is his forge capable of getting to temperatures that only water-powered furnaces are capable of? Magic?) and what purpose does pouring it in the forge serve? It's a waste of good iron to be pouring it all over charcoal, after all.

So, Green's covered most of what I'm going to say, but I've got a couple of things to add. First up is what seems to be my favourite comment, and that's that paragraphs are needed. In your case, I can see where you meant to put paragraphs but the formatting got messed up. My advice is to use the preview function to make sure that the formatting works and then add in the indentations for each paragraph as needed.

Secondly, still looking at the paragraphs, it seems like you're using double spaces to signify a change in location/POV, but it's pretty inconsistent. For example, you don't need the double space between where Horro and his father enter the forge and the description of Grawmar. There's not a large enough change in location or POV to warrant it, so it's not needed and detracts from the overall layout. An example of where it was used correctly is the transition between Horro leaving the house and his arrival at the barracks.

I posted a review of your story.

I'll admit that I didn't get to the end of the story, not so much because it was terrible, but more because the formatting was awful. Centring the the whole story was, in my opinion, not the best idea, but that's just personal preference and didn't really affect my ability to read the story. What *did* affect my ability to read the story was the lack of paragraphs. It makes the story one big block of text and reduces the reader's motivation to read the story.

Secondly, you're approaching dialogue the wrong way. Instead of "she said", "I yelled" or "Janie cried", you've got "Janie:", "me:" and "Janie". While that approach works in a script, it's not the best writing when used in a short story. It doesn't flow very well, and doesn't tell us how the character is speaking. For example, let's take a conversation between two hypothetical characters, Jane and John, the way you've done dialogue:

Jane: I love you John.

John: I...I love you too Jane.

That's pretty emotionless, right? Now, let's see how the conversation plays out when written in a more traditional format:

Jane whispered in John's ear, her voice catching as tears flowed down her face. "I love you John."

John hugged her tightly and swallowed, nervous about what he was going to say. "I...I love you too, Jane."

In this case, there's more emotion, and the dialogue isn't breaking up the flow of the story.

Other than that, I'd run the story through Microsoft word or Open Office Writer and run a spell and grammar check on the story. There are a lot of of spelling and grammatical errors, so you using one of those programs will be a lot easier than me going through and picking out each and every one.

That's good to hear. You guys really are looking after the PC gamer.

Good lord, those textures are beautiful!

When you say that there's a large performance hit with POM, how large are you talking in comparison to normal mapping?

O.O That looks awesome!