Global Defense Initiative' image - Humor, satire, parody

Veteran S.T.A.L.K.E.R.:
1.Is always broke (spends all his money on equipment, supplies and booze).
2.Wears armour held in place with duct tape.
3.Carries either a shotgun or an assault rifle, as well as a powerful sniper rifle in his backpack (preferably a VSS).
4.Also carries a bunch of medical items, including bandages, first aid kits, anti-rads, a few anabiotics and, of course, 3-4 bottles of vodka, just in case.
5.Has standardized his own rations/supplies for weight reduction.
6.Avoids other people, unless they are in his way.
7.Hunts mutants for fun... at midnight!
8.Fails to commit suicide (after all he has been through) in anomalies as his insticts and bolts guide him through harmlessly.
9.Watches his fellow companions drop to the ground one after the other during long journeys, only to loot them minutes later with no trace of emotion in his face.
10.PRAISE THE MONOLITH!