Tiberium Forest Thread - Writer's Club

At the begging …..He was gazing out of the window, all he could see was the deep blue waters that stretched out as long as the eye could see. a red sunrise illuminated the dark waters ahead. it made him look back to some of the stuff that he had pushed back in his mind for a long time ago, he lit a cigarette ,and finally decided to think about the stuff that he had postponed for so long, he was avoiding the inevitable and as he was avoiding them in his folly, unknowingly he was getting closer to them. A distant memory stuck in some dark nook in the back of his subconscious. He would rather think about this particular memory in this fashion. It was efficient, as it made the memory easier to stand. He lowered his head and lit another cigarette, but this time as he raised his head he saw the island, it should have appeared green as he was told during the briefing but the sunrise gave the scenery a magnificent ting of red. The waves crashed against the high cliffs that firmly stood against them, carrying their failure with them to the depths, into the dark depths. Now they were closer, and from this distance he could see the island in more details. It was a large island covered mostly by tiberium jungles, mostly green but down there he could see some dark purple linesspreading across the otherwise green plains of tiberium, and he was able to distinguish it quickly. Blue tiberium. He was told that this island was used as a secret place for merely mining tiberium but he knew the brotherhood couldn’t resist some human experiments once in a while in a remote area like this, specially if the place was governed by CABAL. Human experiments were part of the brotherhoods old plans, almost from the beginning, to produce cyborg soldiers who would obey their commander without even bothering to wonder why, their other merit was that, since they were produced with tiberium’s help , they were immune to tiberium’s effects on normal humans. This made them a really useful tool in areas like this were the whole terrain was infested with tiberium, a group of cyborgs could have easily ran a tiberium refinery without ever falling to the hazards that tiberium caused to unprotected life forms. But here the situation was different. During the briefing CABAL told him that the base was maintaining its normal activity up until a week ago and now they have lost all contact. CABAL cant access the security cameras and he has received no reports from the cyborgs in charge of the facility. He thought of this situation as another human experiment gone haywire. Malfunctioning human experiments were actually a frequency in the recent years, he had heard all kinds of horror-like stories about mutants and their abilities, and how they always killed the experiment team, to avenge their own suffering with the newborn power that they gained through their mandatory imposed suffering. Another lousy mission that CABAL has sent me to, he thought to himself. He prepared himself for jumping. Aircrafts didn’t land in places like this specially without any back up. He had to use a parachute and land on the coastal area and then through there, continue his way until he reached the command center in the middle of the island. it was still sunrise, a cool breeze swept over the sea and touched his face. the breeze was a boon on a day like this. Soon he would go into the tiberium forests and he would even miss the polluted air of the base. Even an amature could detect that acrid smell in the breeze, that pungant smell that he was had grown familiar with during all these years. The island being a tiberium forest, made the smell an ordinary event but the odor was too strong. he lit another cigarette and a little while later jumped off the aircraft. i wrote it on friday.it's far from completion.any feedback and suggestions would be appreciated.

Good story so far but try to avoid using words like 'stuff' and 'things', try to avoiud making the text any colour except black as That red text is an eyesore on my computer screen. Need to check through spelling e.g. your first sentence should read 'at the beginning'
Things you did well: accurate description of scenery and colours, properly explained the island and what tiberium is.
Overall some good work you just need to make it look better and avoid general words like 'stuff'.

well about the color: it was a mistake and i dint realize it under later.and about my choice of words i guess ur right.thanks for taking time and reading it.