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Important Staff Update (Groups : Video Game Art Realm : Forum : Staff Up Dates : Important Staff Update) Locked
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AirborneSn1p3r
AirborneSn1p3r 7 Gen / Master Yoda
Nov 18 2010, 7:29am Anchor

Cuts to the budget/ read the notes at the bottom EFFECTIVE NOVEMBER 20th, 2010

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are employed with VGAR ps The Good News - you are getting your own office. Please see below for details:

DUE TO BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW OFFICE













Thanks For Reading Now Get Back To Work :de:

Edited by: AirborneSn1p3r

Topzombie
Topzombie Forum Leader
Nov 18 2010, 9:30am Anchor

At least i'm still alive.

Edit: Lol. Cool office...but...there is no fountain in the lobby :(

Edited by: Topzombie

Nov 18 2010, 9:34am Anchor

LOL
can't see the pics

AirborneSn1p3r
AirborneSn1p3r 7 Gen / Master Yoda
Nov 18 2010, 10:53am Anchor

grrr the pics, it showed them working earler i will re upload them

can you see it now

--

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Master yoda.... yea lol :thumbup:

Nov 18 2010, 4:35pm Anchor

Awesome

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