I will let a crab pinch my wiener if you help my game get past greenlight! Thread

Alright, like most men I am fond of my wiener. However I have come to realize the error of my ways after becoming cognizant of how utterly useless it is, considering it does not have thumbs, and can not be used to play my awesome game currently stuck in greenlight purgatory.

That's not to say my wiener has been without use over the course of my lifetime, indeed it has been used in a number of occasions during sessions of my favourite non steam game.

I will describe the steps to play this game as so:

1). First what one needs to do is set up 30 Jenga playsets, (I know Jenga is fun, but YOU MUST NOT GET DISTRACTED!).

2). Get bunch of hotwheels, those need to be placed around "the city".

3). Get your "tails", (these are actually belts that you will duck tape to your ass, and the ass of your significant other).

4). Get two masks that glow in the dark, these are essential.

5). Make sure the neighbours are out (Extremely important, I was caught once already, not fun).

6). Get a godzilla cd, (perfect love making music).

With all those things in place, you and your significant other can begin at different ends of the room and come at each other in slow motion, knocking over the city with your "tails", while kicking the hotwheels into buildings. Afterwards you must violently oscillate your head back and forth and screech at the top of your lungs "RAAAWWR I AM THE KING OF THE KAIJU!!!", to give your significant other the beacon.

At this point you run at each other through the demolished city, before making love in the ruins of your new lizard paradise, like two Komodo Dragons in heat.

I'm sure this sounds fun, however let me assure you it is not as fun as my new game on steam, in fact after you play my game you too will come to realize how useless your non videogame playing wieners are. Initially we were in discussions to release to game with a razor blade included, just so you could attempt to cut your own fucking head off since I'm sure you will not experience anything as awesome as my game afterwards, and will suffer a severe existential crisis.

However in beta testing we found this unnecessary since after playing the game our quality assurance staff ended up melting in sheer awe like those Nazi's in "Indiana Jones" after witnessing the ark of the covenant.

The game is still in development in order to make it less awesome, so people do not spontaneously combust whilst playing it. Eventually we will have co-op, so in case you do explode, you can take you lover with you, like two jihadi's on a honeymoon.

Here is a link to my game: Steamcommunity.com
I thank you for your time.

I really had to laugh when I read this post
I mean seriously what did you do before producing that? xD

Edited by: Phoenix1747

Hello Phoenix1747,

I was enjoying a wonderful libation, before writing the ad with one hand, and furiously masturbating to octopus porn with the other, I hope that these answers have convinced you to vote for my game, any monies I make from said product will be funnelled into funding my next project "jizzlamic jihad".

Yes I will vote for your awesome game

Edited by: Phoenix1747

Hey Phoenix747, thanks a bunch brah, you made my day