Post news RSS xPatch 2.5 is cancelled but...

Hold up, what do you mean 2.5 is cancelled? Are you fucking kidding?!

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Hello, Man Chrzan (aka Pan Szatan) here. And before you will start to worry let me tell you that you got clickbaited (HAHAHA), because I have both bad and good news! Bad being the thing that 2.5 will actually never come out, but hear me out the good one is... xPatch 3.0!

Yup, I got a little carried away with the whole update thing and the amount of changes and new content reached the point that it would be only reasonable to jump a few more numbers!

Also make sure to read xPatch 2.5 announcement first if you haven't before, I'll not mention some of the features that were already, but they are still coming in xPatch 3.0! (Cough, except one).


• Two Weeks In Paradise mode

A new game mode for Paradise Lost. As the name suggests it's a game mode which combines POSTAL 2, Apocalypse Weekend and Paradise Lost into one super-long campaign! Not only that but you will be able to access DLC weapons during the first week too, through the vending machines!

Screenshot 440

Screenshot 441

• Day Selection

You can now select a day you want to start the game from. And believe me it was
WAAAAY MUCH HARDER to implement than you might think.

Screenshot 314

• Ludicrous Difficulty

So basically imagine Impossible mode but... you can carry only one weapon per group, with few exceptions (you can carry 2 types of grenades, 2 types of melee and default inventory like Matches doesn't count). Bystanders are equipped with all sorts of weaponry, there are two tiers common weapons and insanely powerful rare weapons. Common weapons include everything Hestonworld has plus Machete and Sawn-Off (it was properly balanced to be used by NPCs), way more rare are encounters with Napalm, Rocket, WMD and Nuke Launcher equipped enemies (Don't wory about Nukes too much, usually they just blow themselves and anyone nearby up it's really fun!). The largest issue of previous difficulties - and that is being able to collect powerful weapons early - has been solved by making the weapon from killed NPCs do not drop (with few exceptions, like grenades and pistols). In place of the good weapon pickups only ammo for them will drop, and only 35% of the time. The chompy plug-in is removed from the levels, you don't have infinite bass sniffer either. Catnip slows time only for 20 seconds (normally it's 60). Not only that but also the enemies have 50% chance of advanced firing - that means if they have rocket launcher they will shoot seeking rockets, napalm and wmd - bouncing projectiles.... Just for this difficulty I've also added AdvancedFiring for Glock (burst fire) and for Machete (throwing). Max ammo you can carry is reduced by 50%, special damage like dismemberment and close-range shotgun headshots can kill player instantly. Aaaand... uh.. with that it's everything I think. Below a little demonstration of the new machete mechanic and catnip effects (not exclusive to this difficulty, can be disabled in xPatch options if you wish)

• Classic Game mode

This one was mentioned previously as being worked on, now it's pretty much finished up and very customizable as can be seen on the screenshot below. Some of the classic game features can be applied into regular game as well.

Screenshot 439

• Expanded Guns Variety

Option which makes NPCs use not original Pistol and Machine Gun but also Machine Pistol (Glock) and Submachine Gun (MP5) on normal difficulties, this option also doesn't affect Classic Game mode.

• Third Person View

Yes, you can now play the game in 3rd person if you are into that stuff...

Screenshot 445

• Revolver's Execution Bar Styles

In xPatch 3.0 you will be able to switch the execution bar in xPatch options.
There will be 3 options available, original bar, xpatch's simplified bar and percentage display on HUD.

Screenshot 446


• Middle Finger rework

Middle finger mechanic has been changed to be triggered by it's own key instead of sharing the G button with "Get Down" yell. Not only that but it can be also activated by simply "firing" hands.

• Sawn-Off and Beta Shotgun rebalance

Due to the feedback I received both weapons were rebalanced (again) making sure that both have their strong and weak sides.

Sawn-Off deals now more damage and the distance to explode head and dismember body was increased.
Beta Shotgun's alt fire is now a bit weaker than Sawn-Off version since it can be found earlier.

I also improved the way a SuperShotgunBodyDamage (dismemberment) is handled in general, to make sure that head will always explode when aimed for it, as well as that the distance required to trigger head explosion will match the body dimemberment distance.

• Melee rebalance (again)

All ED melee weapons now work properly and alert the NPCs to block attacks if they can.
Some little changes to damage were made and Axe got a completely new alt fire mechanic similiar to the POSTAL 4 Machete charged attack (except it doesn't suck).

• Vending Machines rework

Daily supply of ammunition and weapons you can buy is now limited. This limit however is not present in Enhanced Game mode, all weapons (Monday-Friday) are available from Monday too in it.


• Fixed "FindInPickupList" Crash

Something going wrong while trying to remove already gotten items and game softlocking you with permanent crash on level transition to some of the levels.

• Fixed "TalkToWiseman" Crash
Fixed POSTAL 2 trying to access Paradise Lost dialogues and crashing... Yes, you read that right.
I'm sure that that one RWS employee was like "I''m sure nothing bad will happen if I add references to the DLC files in the base game." and as we can see... well, shit happens.

• Fixed crash caused by too many pickups dropped by killed NPCs

Self-explainatory, right? Another new feature added in steam version which caused crashes.

• (Kinda) fixed "DeadBodyMarker" Crash
"Kinda" meaning that I've figured out a way to reduce it, that being adding new performance options and making the game not spawn the thing when not needed. The "DeadBodyMarker" keeps notifying bystanders every few seconds that there's a dead body lying on the ground so they can properly react, sadly the freaking thing likes to crash the game very often if there's some other stuff going.

PS. A few cut performance options were restored too.

Screenshot 442


Yes, there's a lot. I don't even want to waste any more time explaining it all here so...


I've made it quite some time ago and it might be a bit not up-to-date and unfinished there and here but the idea was to post changes I've made here in real time so you can always take a look and see how much is done and how much I still have to do. I will most likely update it soon so yeeah, here it is!



- AGAIN!!!??
- YES, FUCK IT. It's not worth the trouble.


No clue lol. Soon-ish rather than later-ish I'd say.


I've made a page dedicated for xPatch on the wiki. You can find some useful and fun information about it there. And uh.. keep in mind that anyone can edit it so yeah, if you have any doubts about the information there feel free to contact me on my xPatch Discord Server.


Just kiddin'

...or maybve not?

Since there were a few people asking me if there's any way they can donate me in the past. I've decided to figure out some kind of method to allow them to. If you are one of these people then go ahead. And before anyone asks. No, I will not lock any sort of content behind a pay-wall. xPatch was and always will be free, I do not support the idea of paid mods or paid early access to them. Anyone who's on my discord server can download and beta test early builds (currently none are available for 3.0 but that might change soon). That's all, thank you for reading!

PS. To anyone who bothered me with DMs about a way to donate and will not do this now.
No matter where you live -- I'll find your sorry ass and kick it to a plump!

Just kidding :)

SweetRamona - - 5,125 comments

Lmao you got me good with the title. 😹

Keep up the good work as always, this is the best way to play Postal 2 IMO

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ManChrzan Author
ManChrzan - - 149 comments

Hahahaha I just had to, sorry!

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foo_jam2002 - - 870 comments

Thanks, this is some good news.

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Resserection - - 30 comments

All of this and beautiful and perfect and I love it. the middle finger change is certainly beyond welcome, this is amazing!

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AllKnowingVortigaunt - - 56 comments

Thank you so much for fixing up Postal 2 It's an eternal masterpiece!

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UrielSales - - 13 comments

AWESOME!!! You're doing a spectacular job!!!

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Russy25 - - 92 comments

Damn! A very good reason to play Postal 2 again. can't wait for that juicy two weeks in paradise mode. RWS should integrate your mod to the main game this is really awesome :D

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