This is my third custom story and is an improvement on previous ones with more mapping, scripting and hopefully a good but short story.
Here are some thoughts just to provide you some feedback.
Positives:
- You kept the levels short and they mostly have meaning
- You tried and achieved more than just key quests, even if the puzzles are on the simpler side
- Decent length for a beginner story.
- There are music and general ambience in the levels
- Monster encounters are utilized quite often and some of them are decent
- Resource management is fine for the most part.
- Minor flickering textures and structure glitches
- A different story from the usual amnesia + escape, but I think you should make it a bit more serious and realistic next time
Negative aspects (that should be addressed even as a beginner)
- Very basic lighting
- No details whatsoever
- Realism is nonexistent in the story or in the puzzles. Like it's quite unfitting to think about eating disorders and eating pizza in a medieval environment with monsters. Then getting a key by using a wooden bucket on some crap? And it just appears in your inventory with no notification.
Things to improve:
- Don't overly light up mansion and castle maps. The basic white pointlights and boxlights set up an unrealistic desaturated ambience.
- You forgot to place some doorframes into doorways, notably near puzzles.
- Use details! You have walls, lamps, lights and some resources + monsters. Utilize furniture and ornaments more, your levels currently still feel empty.
- Try to come up with a story more fitting to the environment.
- Puzzles shoud make sense.
4.5/10, getting there, but not quite there yet.