Not Bad, Just A Couple Suggestions.
The Text Is Crammed Together. You Should Paragraph Them, And Have A Seperate Line For Each Time Dialogue Is Spoken
You Should Add More Commas, And There Was A Couple Of Spelling Mistakes, Like "Guarantee"
But Overall, You Have A Nice Volcabulary There, Well Done
- Anti Griefer
Comment History
Anti_Griefer_666 - - 9 comments @ My Online Improvised Novel- Info and Prologue
Good karma+3 votes
Anti_Griefer_666 - - 9 comments @ 17 DOTA 2 invites/steam gifts to give away.
Good karma+1 vote
OR, You Can Use This Steamcommunity.com
Anti_Griefer_666 - - 9 comments @ First Post.
Good karma+1 vote
20 Dollars? Store.steampowered.com It Only Costs 3.25 ATM
Anti_Griefer_666 - - 9 comments @ Games?
Good karma+1 vote
Cry Of Fear
It's ******* Scary As **** :P
Anti_Griefer_666 - - 9 comments @ The Return, Chapter 1 Part 1
Good karma+1 vote
This Is Good. Reminds Me Of Fallout With The Last Paragraph Being About The Master From Fallout 1. Might Class This As Advertising, But My Fallout Story Might Give You Some Inspiration, It's On My Blogs.
Anti_Griefer_666 - - 9 comments @ The Story Of Steph'nie Part 3
Good karma+1 vote
Gah. Want Me To Upload Normal Versions? And Also, I Would Like Some Comments On The Quality Of The Written Work. If More People Comment Like That, I Will Upload Normal Versions.
Profile
Anti_Griefer_666
James joined
Hi. Im A New Member To Desura. I Might Not Be So Active On Desura, So Be Sure To Check My Steam! It's What I Put For My Homepage. And Please, Don't Get Mad I Type In All Caps. I'm A Nice Guy. As Of Now, I Am Writing A Story Based On Fallout New Vegas