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now i know this is a 40k writiters group but i though u guys would want 2 see this so here is the first chapter

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Draft Rise of clone commander eric ep 1 draft 1
chapter 1 ep 1
The beginning of a legend
Location geonosis
day 1 clone wars cast
(clones use # designations in dialouge as this is before their names are introduced)
Eric/ mjr 0978
cpl blane/trooper 0762
Pfc Preston/0556
SSGT rex/trooper 7567 (may need 2 change)
trooper 2224 (cody)
Anakin skywalker Obi-wan kenobi
padme amidala General Grevious
COunt dooku
Viceroy gunray screen opens from black Day 1 clone wars (same music as repulic commando playing in background) The republic is at war! the cis has made its final affront with the hostage taking of 2 jedi and a senator a massive clone army has been dispatched to geonosis to end this threat to republic rule. this army has never seen combat but this day it will recieve its baptism of fire Cuts to cargo hold of gunship eric: Pilot put us down there, approximately 3.5 clicks due east
pilot: yes sir!
eric: 762 be ready on that heavy gun! those geos down there look pissed
blane: of course sir we were'nt picked for this misson for our lack of skills .
preston: no sir we were not!
eric:look i dont want you all killed on our first deployment. 545 whats the latest word from command?
rex Sir command wants us 2 infltrate a geonosian compound and cut off the escape of several vip targets and key enemy leaders. we're are to link up with a commando team on the ground already
eric: what kind of restiance will we be facing?
rex: well sir at least 5000 battle droids 1200 pissed off geos and who knows what else downstairs but thats why we get the tough job isnt it?
eric: thats right trooper. just remember we have a local geo aa battrey to take care of; otherwise, we're cut off and surrounded by an army of clankers.
pilot: 2 minutes!!
eric: alright troopers be ready for action. I want 1st squads assault team on me. i already see a good flanking position. 762, 556, i want you to take 1st squad's fire team and 2nd squad and put down extreme suppresive fire on those barricades got it?
blane/preston: yes sir!
eric: 545 your on me. i want the rocket ready to deal with any droid armor
rex: copy that sir.
pilot: touch down! your clear boys! good luck!

In a small stone courtyard, Eric (who stands larger then a sbd) leads a flank around a dug-in geonosian gun and disables it with several well placed grenades, while blaine and preston's men put heavy fire on the geonosians killing several and pinning the rest. a well hidden AAT bursts from a cave taking eric and his men by surprise but rex instantly reacts and puts it out of action with a well place rocket.eric: nice shot 545! alright 1st and 2nd form up on me! get gunship 4 on the horn and tell them to drop off the rest of the battalion!rex: yes sir!eric: we are actually ahead of schedule. take 3 minutes rest, then I want 5 guys to start going through that cave system. Looks like we got a shortcutmeanwhile in a cis command room only about 3 km from the clone strike team battle droid lt: sir a small team of about 50 clone troopers landed just outside entrance 127 and wiped out the forces there. count dooku: yes i knew this would happen. what forces are nearby to stop thembattle droid lt 2: sir. all forces are busy on the front line and those clones seemed more capable then the others sir. dooku: indeed they did especially the abnormally large one. hmmm... is grevious ready for action? battle droid sgt: well sir the recovery process is ready and we think he should be ready for action in a couple of... nute gunnray: i want him deployed now! if those troops take up the proper positions we will be cut off and surrounded! dooku: if you wish, viceroygunnray: DO IT! i must get off this planet in a room down the hall, a large tube, similer to what luke skywalker was in but filled with an unknown greyish/blue gel, begins to open and with a heavy metalic bang, the general falls out on the tank on his kneesgrevious: argghh i hate going in that tube dooku: i understand your distrust of it but we have more important matters at hand grevious: i hope you found me something to kill otherwise it may be you!dooku: as a matter of fact i do. a small clone team has landed about 3 km from this facility. they wiped out the forces guarding the cave entrance in a matter of seconds and have secured a small landing zone. their commander is highly capable and should provide you with some sport. here is a picture taken by one of the droids before it's destruction grevious snatches the disk out of dookus hand and is amused with erics large stature and apparent bravadogrevious: yes he will make a fine target. sure he lacks a lightsaber but his blaster will make a sufficient trophy (greviouslaughs) dooku: then i suggest you take your bodyguard droids and dispatch him at once grevious: as you wish count dooku grevious storms out of the room grabbing his cloak, soon after followed by 10 of his IG model bodyguard droidsback at lz zone 1blaine: 556, you think this mission is gonna go smoothly?
preston: at this rate sir, i would say so. i mean, 978 is a great leader and he is also very brave. sets a good example for the troops. he is a bit reckless for a major though.
blaine: agreed he acted like it was just another training day and charged the geos like they didnt even have guns.
cody: cpl, sir. pvt 2224 here. demo man 3rd squad i was told 2 report 2 978 on this landing zone. could you tell me were he is?
blaine: he is the big guy over there with 7567 and 1st squad
cody: thank you sir!cody runs over to eric cody: major sir. (salutes eric) trooper 2224 here, demo man 3rd squad. I was told to report to you eric: at ease private. i assume your also a engineer?
cody: yes sir first class. armor, gunship, droid, you name it I speak it or fix it
eric: good to have you with us. ok listen; here we got a droid foundry i'd like to sabatoge on the way down to the central command building here and here. now, we can expect heavy local resistance, backed up by droids and possible armor, as those caverns are big, and i mean very big. once we are inside, we are to locate viceroy nute gunnray and take him dead or alvie. if we get anyone else, count it as a bonus. any question?all clones in immediate area: sir no sir!!The Clones all fall in Line Behind 978 the cave is dark moist and smells like geonisons and oil, the 50 man team moves very quietly and swiftly before reach a massive underground droid refinery, which is producing Large Numbers of Battle droids and AATS as well as Dwarf spider droids. 978 Pulls up a holomap showing critacal structaurl weeknessRex: Sir were did u get that?
Eric: I have my sorces now look we need 2 stop armor production immeditaly. Now 2224 Can u jury rig a EMP rocket that will fire out of a PLEX82?
Cody: yes sir I could i just need an EMP greande and a little time.
Eric pulls a EMP greande (looks like normal detonater but is painted a morning-elteric blue and has a blue light instead of red) Eric: ok now heres the plan im gunna take 1st, 2nd and 3rds assault teams and punch a hole straight through the Guard posts here and here. While this is happeining i want The fireteams 2 put precsion fire on priority targets like Heavy gun operators, Super battledroids and please do not let the geonosians use there sonic turrets up there, in fact 7567 and u three on my mark blow those guns with ur laucnhers heres my ammo no aim a bit high with these its a prototype cluster muntion tha spreads sharpennel and incendariaies in a circuler area below it so it will take out the guns and there crew. Now that EMP rocket will shut down any Sheilding and Defsnive turrets when it hits th mainframe here then We can put our charges at that fuel depot down there that will cause a chain reaction takeing out this place and opening a convient shortcut any ?S All troopers: sir no sir!!Meanwhile
Dooku: There is a disturbance in the force my master, It is slight but feals unlike anything I have fealt before almost like it is being hidden, Also it is not a jedi or a sith but soemthing else something unknown.
Sideous: It is of no consequnce We will soon have theplans 2 the death star and our plan is unfolding perfectly my appretntice now see that u make it off that dreaful planet
Dooku: yes my master
Battle droid captian: Sir the clones are no longer in the landing zone and an aa battery not far from there has been destroyd.Dooku: but how is that possiable they reporterd no contact w an enmay prsenice, when did we lose contact?Droid capt: about 10 mins ago it appears there was an ammuntion acceident.Dooku: yes an accedient where is Grevoius?Droid capt :near Factory 7845 I think he has a trapp prepared for the clone teamDooku: exccelnt Mean while in a guard post in refirny Grevoius: Those fools dont supect that this factories emp defesies are our newest model it will simply provide extra power enabling faster production! Jango are those droids ready? Jango Fett: Yeah there ready, but I dont like the fact that i dont get 2 kill that cloneGrevious: Do not complain about such minor details your fee was rather substanoil besdieds u may claim his helmete i want hi blster! Fett: well i guess that works however little did they know Eric: soemhings not right this is 2 quite rex: your right Eric: ok wtach thisEric grabs a spare gattling laser and then charges it with his remaing emp greandeCody: sir your overchraging it!?Eric: yeah 2224 i am now hook up that power pack here the power on the gun is incresed by about 3x meaning it will easily crack open an aat with a 2 round burst or in this caseEric: 7567 on my mark hi those guns 224 when i move fire that emp rocket right behind my shots evrone else covering fire..Eric the begins 2 spin the barrle of the laser and then a devasating and constant barrage of plasma blows sveral large holes in the facilty whil seavrl rockets decimate the defesive artillary while eric charges the guard posts muclching them (and almost anything inside) 2 a mealted pulp. Grevious: how did he ctach on!Fett: your plan was ovbious ill handle thisJAngo jet packs straight at eric kcocking the laser out of his hand eric is also knocked over but has his hand on his pistole before he hits the ground,eric fires hitting fett directly in the chest fett isknocked back by the powerful shot but quicly revoers by then eric is back on his feet they then charge eachother and proceed 2 pound eachother w mellee combat they appear 2 be even but then Grevious interupts smashing eric in2 a wallBlane: troopers now go go go!!50 pissed of troopers proceed 2 smash the droid forces pouring in 2 back up grevious while cody fires the missle amazingly it manages (2 grevious horror) shut down the plant and cause a large explosion 2224: WHAT that was a bit unexpected well 2 birds one stone i guesswhil Grevious is distacted eric unleashes his hidden weapon a wrist blade identical 2 that used by repuplic commandos and drives it deep in2 grevous chest and kicks him off Eric: Damn your a heavy mother fuckerGrevious start laughing

Grevious: you fool i am not as easyily defated as u think Grevious draws his lightsabers 4 of them clearly intemidating all but eric who unleashes a 2nd wrist blade and appears 2 b reching fopr a myserous object on his waste before he finishes this manuever however the ceiling collapses and 3 gunships drop off repulic commando squad delta however grevious manages 2 escape along w fett who seems 2 know something about eric from his voice"boss 038" 978 is that you? I expected 2 find you about 2 kick some ass. Good Job on that factory but your main target escaped your being orderd 2 a hanger 2 inctercept dooku my nteam will handle the rest Eric: roger that commando Plaoon lets move out meanwhile on Slave one Grevious Fett and Boba are making towards the esacping spertist fleet Jango: I knew that mans voice it was mandoliern accent, it does not make any sense at all he was not a clone grevious but some1 elseGrevious: That does not matter he bested me And i swear i will have his head, but that does not matter sidoues told us we may have 2 fight mandolriens but fett i repsect your performance so i wnt say anything 2 dooku if u dont wish me 2, after all you may wish 2 deal with "mandolerian" in house as would I


i've read, and good job. I'll PM my thoughts!

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great job pm-ing in..3..2..1

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