Nintendo making another Super Mario game was just as inevitable as Lindsay Lohan breaking her promise to stay off the pipe. So here I am reviewing Super Mario Galaxy 2.
Instead of recapping any kind of story, I am going to conduct and all of you sing along. Ok, here we go. Super Mario games follow the same premise, each with the characters (mostly) Mario, Princess Peach, and Bowser. One of these characters kidnaps the other and one has to go on a rescue mission. Figure it out.
Am I the only one that noticed this, but "cake" is the Nintendo word for "Intercourse" or "Sex". So... when Peach invites Mario over for some... cake, Bowser comes and kidnaps the dumb b*****. Seriously, has the Mushroom Kingdom learned nothing from the past events? You would think that they would have stepped up security for the brain dead heirarch they named after a fruit.
Also, there is no point in talking about gameplay because it is the exact same thing as Galaxy 1, but with the addition of a dinosaur that wears shoes. So why don't you go drink some whine and chug some pills while I wait here and choke myself for giving out good reviews before.
Back to business. Another problem I have is the fact that Galaxy "2" is a sequel. Not much has changed. Nintendo even ripped off other bosses from Galaxy 1 to compensate for their now empty voids they call brains. A sequel should bring more new things than old things. Sure, I love lots of sequels. But do I want to play the same iteration of the original with a different title? Balls No! Variety is what makes games great. Sure there is the story and gameplay, but what use is it if the game does the same thing over and over?
Ok, you know what Nintendo? I want you to do something for me if I give this game a good score. I want you to go outside in the sunshine and find someone of the opposite sex and invite them for some... cake.
I give Super Mario Galaxy 2 a 2 out of 5... What? That is a good score for a game such as this. Don't hate.