Around a year ago, I released a mod by the name of Smash Ultimate, a smash hit when it came to the Half-Life 2 community. This mod revolutionised how and what we think of as a Half-Life mod. The whole concept of smashing 10,000 crates ended up being so tantalising (believe it or not, the amount of time required to beat Smash Ultimate is quite high), that I have decided to lighten the load. With bugfixes. And performance improvements. Now Smash Ultimate is playable at such high framerates, you won't enter a catatonic state of disrepair whenever you drop frames in this game, or encounter a bug. It's just smash, smash, all the way.
INTRODUCING:
Smash Ultimate: Year of the Crate
(same great mod, exciting new taste)
Let's just cut right to the chase. This was meant to be a release for the Chinese New Year celebration, however procrastination eventually prevailed and thus -- we're now locked in for a release date of April 1st, 2023. Yes! A brand new Smash Ultimate update on April 1st. This is not an April Fools joke, just as releasing it on any other date would NOT make it an out-of-season April Fools joke. It's just clearly the appropriate time to send the mod out to the public.
Smash Ultimate is already complete. There is not a lot to be added, other than polish and TLC. However, the upcoming parts are in spoilers, that is if you even care about being spoilt about a shitpost about smashing 10,000 crates. Either way, I hope you enjoy what this new update has to offer!
THIS NEXT SECTION IS ENTIRELY SPOILERS
BRAND NEW LORE
Yes, Smash Ultimate now comes with lore. With new lore, there was a necessity for a brand new ending. Thus, the ending to Smash Ultimate is now different, and is overhauled and entirely changed. I won't spoil what the end has to offer for you, but do note: it is grand. The lore is also hidden somewhere within the map, I can't just give it to you, that'd be too easy.
SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW
Added a couple of new rooms. Tweaked some old rooms. For example, the store has been made bigger and a brand new Permanent Upgrade has been added, so obviously the game is easier in that way while the whole map tries to kill you. This new store will be used for potential (don't hold your breath on this) updates in the future.
BUGFIX AND OPTIMISATION GALORE
I have smashed so many bugs I have essentially played Smash Ultimate but with computer bugs. Well, thankfully, it was more like smashing a couple of bugs, ten thousand times in order to really ensure they're fixed. I'm not Bethesda, at least I'd like to think I'm not. Also the engine no longer renders the whole map all the time, only the sections you are in, so thus now the game should run extra smooth.
ACTUALLY MAKING THE MOD EASIER - IF YOU WANT
There is now a way to make the mod OFFICIALLY easier. But you're going to have to give up something in return, and bring three talismans. Where they are, and where the way to make the mod easier is somewhere redacted. That's up to you to find out.
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
One may call this update a bit unnecessary, but it is very necessary. ChatGPT is all over the Internet right now, so I got it to write a little parting haiku for now.
Wooden crates beware,
Smash Ultimate's endless spree,
Challenges await.
