Captain_Hell_Knight

Well I'll be damned, apparently I joined

If I get a penny every time I see something primitive, someone primitive, or someone primitive doing something primitive... I would be the richest Prothean in the galaxy.

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The_Guy_:/
The_Guy_:/ - - 468 comments

Sheesh, that's a lot of Draugr! I know the blue Demoman is Dwarfy, but who's the Soldier?

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Captain_Hell_Knight AuthorOnline
Captain_Hell_Knight - - 2,610 comments

It's another student of mine, known as Malen.

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The_Guy_:/
The_Guy_:/ - - 468 comments

Figured you'd have more than one. Though I didn't expect your eye to glow that strong! o_O

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Captain_Hell_Knight AuthorOnline
Captain_Hell_Knight - - 2,610 comments

I'm a wizard, lad. I can make my arse glow if I wanted to.

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The_Guy_:/
The_Guy_:/ - - 468 comments

LOL! XD

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Rima~Toya
Rima~Toya - - 178 comments

Why is it always vampires with you... Don't you have Reapers to kill?

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Captain_Hell_Knight AuthorOnline
Captain_Hell_Knight - - 2,610 comments

The Reapers are still in Dark Space, didn't Harbinger already tell you that? And I just hate vampires in general. Worst mythic being ever. And anime just makes them even worse.

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Rima~Toya
Rima~Toya - - 178 comments

And how is anime making them worse? Do you just hate anime?

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Captain_Hell_Knight AuthorOnline
Captain_Hell_Knight - - 2,610 comments

No, I don't hate anime. I've said it before, the character designs are indeed very well-made. What I hate in anime is the overacted drama, along with the extremely perverted porn-ish scenes. They just pour drama scenes in like a glass of never-ending water. And anime is making vampires worse, because it's making overpowered... and primitive.

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Rima~Toya
Rima~Toya - - 178 comments

Well... what kind of anime would you enjoy?

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Captain_Hell_Knight AuthorOnline
Captain_Hell_Knight - - 2,610 comments

One that isn't perverted and over-dramatic.

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Rima~Toya
Rima~Toya - - 178 comments

Specify... what would you add in the show?

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Captain_Hell_Knight AuthorOnline
Captain_Hell_Knight - - 2,610 comments

I would add: a lot of comedy and action, decrease drama to a minimum amount (if not fully removed), no perverted moments, Dragons (Skyrim-styled), Demons (REAL ONES! Not some whores with wings), a drunk black bomb expert named Tavish DeGroot (basically TF2's Demoman), Protheans - specifically Javik.

Need I add more? Probably.

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Prothean_Javik
Prothean_Javik - - 542 comments

That is an anime that I would gladly watch! WHY DOESN'T SOMETHING LIKE THAT EXIST!? ಠಠ___ಠಠ

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Rima~Toya
Rima~Toya - - 178 comments

Alright then. Could you give me an example of a storyline?

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Captain_Hell_Knight AuthorOnline
Captain_Hell_Knight - - 2,610 comments

I guess...

So it starts with a boy and a girl (brother and sister, both 18-years-old) walking down a dark alley. They're talking about their life problems of living with no parents and stuff. Suddenly they saw a person who was walking weirdly. They thought he needed help crossing the street, so they offered him their help. It turns out he's an ugly Demon and he tried to kill them. The Demon was stronger than both of them combined, and he was about to kill the girl. Her brother quickly grabbed a broken pipe and shoved it up the Demon's arse and then the Demon died, after pooping out his organs and farting nasty. They ran quickly to the nearest police station to inform the police of what they encountered. Of course, the police doesn't believe them and thinks they're high on some drug, and they start running some tests on them to be sure. Meanwhile, a firey demonic pentagram gets carved on the floor in the lobby, and a Demon teleports in. A different one. He's four-legged, one-eyed, with bull horns, with the size of a rhino and breaths fire. And it killed every cop in the station. Electricity went out, the boy and girl wandered through the dark with a flashlight and two pistols they found. In one dark corner, the Bull Demon appears and starts roaring at them, causing a small earthquake. Then it charged at them. The girl shot the Demon in the eye, and it couldn't see. Eventually it dies. Suddenly, they heard a big bang outside. As they went to investigate, they saw the entire city burning, Demons were slaughtering the citizens, and Gargoyles were eating them alive. The Demon Emperor showed himself in front of the girl and boy, and starts laughing maniac-y. Then says something like "This is the beginning of the end for humanity!" and summons his pet Cerberus, the three-headed titan guard dog of Hades. The boy and girl were certain that they will die, but then a young fellow, wielding a magical sword with a Dragon skull handle and kills Cerberus in a few minutes.

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Captain_Hell_Knight AuthorOnline
Captain_Hell_Knight - - 2,610 comments

I keep misspelling and it ******* annoys me...

So anyway, just before Cerberus was about to kill the unarmed boy and girl, a young fellow with a magical sword appeared. In a few minutes he manages to cut all three heads of Cerberus, thus killing the beast. The boy and girl were amazed of his skills. Without explaining much, the blade-wielding guy tells them to follow him. But he was no ordinary human. He's actually a 100,000-year-old Dragon in a human disguise (his true identity will get revealed in the later episodes). The girl falls in love with the Dragon, and will continue to love him even after knowing his true identity. Of course, she won't express her feelings about him until the later episodes. Meanwhile back in Hell, the leading captain of the Demon army - Captain Hell Knight, starts arguing with the Emperor for breaking the sacred rules of the previous Emperor, Satan, by starting a war with humanity. The new Emperor didn't give a **** about his opinion and ignored him. Captain Hell Knight didn't like where this was going, and he only had dozens who were loyal to him and the sacred rules. He decided to aid the surviving humans (which he does in the later episodes). The Dragon human led the boy and girl to his hideout, where they met a Scottish black guy named Tavish DeGroot. He's an expert at everything that has to do with bombs and explosions. He was also an excellent medieval fighter. Though he liked getting drunk, he's not to be underestimated. He used to be a mercenary, but now he's just trying to save the world with the Dragon. The Dragon then explained to the boy and girl what was going on and asked for their help. Without having any experience, they blindly accepted. And on goes their adventure.

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Captain_Hell_Knight AuthorOnline
Captain_Hell_Knight - - 2,610 comments

The Dragon's first plan was to recover an ancient artifact, that according to him was hidden somewhere in the cave near their hideout. So they went to find it. There were no living beings in the cave, besides rats and bats. But it was filled with traps, one of which almost killed the girl. Luckily the Dragon is always on the lookout and doesn't think of leaving people behind. Later on, they managed to unearth the artifact, which seemed to belong to an ancient, hyper-advanced, now extinct race, known as the Protheans. This artifact started glowing and it gave them a magical map, which the Dragon thought it would lead them to lost Prothean technology, that could easily overwhelm some Demons. However, he was wrong. The map led them to a lost stasis pod, somewhere in the deeper areas of the cave. In the pod there was a Prothean. The Dragon released him from the stasis pod, and the Prothean's first reaction was hostile. He used some kind of green telekinesis to push them away. After regaining consciousness, he grabbed the girl and boy, and just like that he learned the English language. The Prothean was named Javik. He asked the people who he kept calling "primitives" about what was going on. The Dragon briefed him about the situation, and then Javik agreed to help them save the world. And this is where the most comedic parts start. During their adventures, Javik keeps on trolling his allies, but mostly he liked trolling the girl as he found her most suitable for it. The action scenes from now on will be mostly comedic and silly, like in the movie Naked Gun. If you've watched it, you would know what I mean.

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Rima~Toya
Rima~Toya - - 178 comments

God... I just woke up from my short nap and I see that you have wrote a freaking novel... Well I have to admit. That's a pretty interesting story. I'd watch it, if it existed... Though aren't you stealing the Cerberus ideas from High School DxD...

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Captain_Hell_Knight AuthorOnline
Captain_Hell_Knight - - 2,610 comments

Cerberus doesn't belong to the anime... It belongs to the Greek myths and legends. And according to them, there's only ONE Cerberus, and he's hard to kill... unlike those fake copies of him in the goddamn anime. So no, it's not stealing. Many other games, movies and shows are using him. Though I would be stealing Demoman and Javik, since one belongs to Valve and the other belongs to BioWare. But eh... those are my ideas.

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Prothean_Javik
Prothean_Javik - - 542 comments

Screw copyright and all that ********, these are the best ideas for an anime ever, in the history of forever! Someone should start working on these ideas, right ******* now!

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Rima~Toya
Rima~Toya - - 178 comments

This isn't Prothean civilization, Javik... You can't just screw the rules like that.

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Prothean_Javik
Prothean_Javik - - 542 comments

You know what? I think they should also add the cheerleader in, as well. She can be the Demon Emperor's personal ****. And in some of the later episodes, I get to kill her in the most humiliating way ever.

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Rima~Toya
Rima~Toya - - 178 comments

...

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Captain_Hell_Knight AuthorOnline
Captain_Hell_Knight - - 2,610 comments

Mhmhmhmhmhmmhmhmhmh!

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BearGrillsLePosh
BearGrillsLePosh - - 47 comments

Nothing beats the power of improviesd novels!

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"Watch, my apprentices! You'll have to learn to conjure that many Draugr if you hope to invade any anime vampire colony!" - Super_Hell_Knight to his students.