Embedded software engineer | Sci- fi fan with Star Wars and Mass Effect as my fav | Tactical FPS gamer | Dragon enthusiast | Wannabe concept artist | Moddb Star Wars RP history: Retired renowned scarred Jedi-Grand Master Fleet General (Try saying that 5 times fast!), having served in the the Army of Light and Galactic Alliance. Currently on vacation on Tython. Realization: The ideal follower is often the perfect leader. My signature: Rules are for those who can't help being arrogant.

Report RSS The story of the decade?

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With the Mass Effect 3 hype mostly gone, I think I can give this a shot. I've come up with a neat story, entitled: The Forgotten Flame, but I have no idea how far fetched or good it is. I don't have allot of time...none in fact, to work on it further, to make the jigsaw of a story work.
So to those that have enough free time and are interested, I would appreciate it if you would take a look and give me crits on this thing, good bad, horrible... I don't care, anything to make the story more appealing, understandable and awesome.
PM me and give me your email, I'll email the .pdf file to you.


A teaser:
*Note: I wrote this piece years ago, names, ideas and events have changed since then. Also, my writing in this piece is from my high school days...so ya, not great, and this was for an essay xD


“Dad, stop fiddling with those computers. Let Gavin handle it,” said Nogard to his dad, William. Nogard had become increasingly irritated with his dad. His dad was holding him back from society.
“I am not giving up my search Nogard and you know this! Get your shape shifting ass out of here and go practise your fire!” William shouted.
Nogard did not know a thing about spraying fire, but at least he mostly mastered transforming into his human form.
“Gavin, why don’t you help him with your tech brain and do my fathers research for him?” Nogard said to his twenty four year old friend, Gavin.
“Nogard, I don’t get your father. He does not tell you anything about “them” and “her”, let alone me. You know I don’t know what he is looking for,” Gavin said.

William did not tell Nogard much or anyone else anything, about where they came from or what he was looking for. He does this (he believes) to keep Nogard safe, by not knowing too much. Gavin, though, is an accidental exception. Two years earlier, just when Nogard was able to turn into full human form for the first time, he befriended the hacker on the run, Gavin; which was totally against his father’s will. A year later Gavin got so curious about the secret life he knew Nogard was hiding from him, that he infiltrated their house, which was in a remote area of Spain and caught Nogard in the act of training to fly, with his own wings. Yes, Gavin Taylor had accidentally discovered the last of the forgotten creatures, known to humans only as
dragons!

Because of this discovery that Gavin made, he was forced to secrecy by an untrusting Mr. William (who was human, but had mastered transforming into his unnatural new dragon form) and only kept alive because of Gavin’s friendship with Nogard. He was Nogard’s best and only friend.


“I hate my father for cooping me up like this,” Nogard said “I am able to sustain my human form indefinitely and I can fly well enough to go visit that market village down in the valley. I don’t care what my dad says.” Nogard said in ancient Drakzian to Gavin. Gavin had been learning Drakzian for the past year, a whispering, groaning tongue Nogard could fluently speak since early childhood, but Gavin did not fully understand Nogard that time, so he just nodded.

Nogard was twenty one human years old. He had black hair, dark green eyes, and to human standards, was quite handsome. In his natural dragon form, he was four legged, had dark maroon scales with his underside pitch black and he had two horn like stumps on his head. He had a thick tale with four spikes at the end and he had large bat like wings sprouting from his shoulders.
Early the next morning Nogard snuck out of the house and flew to the village market square down on the valley floor far below their house. Maintaining his human form was second nature to Nogard, which he found strange. In the market square he caught sight of an older girl staring at him with dark green eyes, very similar to his own. She approached him and said in a German accent, “Hi my name is Valory Norman, what’s yours?”
“Uhhh...hi, my name is Nogard Drake. Do I know you?” Nogard replied.
“Maybe...” Valory replied in a secretive tone. Something did seem familiar about the girl, but Nogard never had contact with any other humans, except Gavin and William.
“Come let’s talk,” said Valory.

From then on Nogard made frequent secret trips to the village and developed a good relationship with Valory. There was just something about Valory that made Nogard trust her. A few months later, Nogard told Gavin about Valory and his plan to run away with her to Denmark. Gavin, being one for adventure, had one requirement so that he would not tell Mr. William of Nogard’s plan. He was coming with.



Valory told Nogard that she had family in Denmark they could stay at. All during the plane flight Nogard had strange dreams of burning buildings and war, mostly in the middle ages. There was a sudden vision of a cave and then of another dragon breathing fire! “Nogard wake up, we’ve landed.” Valory said while Nogard jolted awake.
“Bad dreams?” asked Gavin.
“Yeah, never mind. I’m fine” Nogard slowly replied.
As they followed Valory, Nogard started discussing his memory like dreams with Gavin until they stood in front of a worn down house.

“This is it guys,” Valory said. They opened the door, but there was no furniture in the one roomed house. They walked into the middle of the floor, when Nogard’s sensitive ears heard a click. They where sucked deep under the house by a platform into a large open facility.
“What is this place Valory?” Nogard asked.
“What? You don’t recognise her Nogard, or this place, mmmmm?” a voice said on an intercom.
“Should I?” Nogard shouted with his echo not far behind.
“O, yes indeed. My work had some side effects as you should know. You’re not supposed to be human in any way, neither is Valory...” the intercom voice said.
Nogard and Gavin turned to Valory and to both their amazement and fear, Valory turned into a dark navy coloured dragon with a shrilling growl.
“See? You’re two of a kind Nogard. I sent Valory to find you. I am your saviour, your creator, Dr Radvik,” said the intercom voice.
Looking at the natural form Valory, Nogard dropped to the ground with a gasp and a hail of visions pounding his mind.
“Welcome home Nogard,” said Dr Radvik coming through two whooshing doors.
Nogard was gasping for air on the ground. He relinquished his human form for his natural form. Flashes of memories belonging to previous dragons from his bloodline spilled into his head. Valory was also, but mildly, stunned by visions. The close proximity of brother and sister triggered the recollection of some of their genetic bloodline memories.


Meanwhile, in the commotion, Gavin was busy hacking a panel to open the roof of the facility. Dr Radvik saw him and asked, “What do you think you’re doing young man?” Facility guards and Valory, still in dragon form, swarmed over Gavin and pinned him to the ground. “You see Nogard, your wise ancestors taught humans the skills and knowledge we now take for granted, but because of fear and power lust, we drove our ancient teachers to extinction. Or so I thought, before I found you two. Frozen, dormant, practically dead in your eggs, but I sought to revive you two, by any means necessary. The Smoking Ember project was born. Just asked William, tell him his old friend Radvik says hi” Dr Radvik said while looking at the ceiling, Nogard was still in dragon form and incapacitated on the floor by visions.

Just then an alarm sounded and the roof started to open. Nogard shouted in demonic Drakzian where he lay, “I...am...Shadowfire!” It is as if he was possessed. Nogard stood up on his four scaly paws and with unrivalled strength, dismembered and tossed the guards around like ragdolls. With short controlled bursts of thundering fire balls shot from his mouth he blasted and charred the rest of the guards. He knocked Valory out on the spot. In the frenzy Gavin jumped on Nogard’s back and they flew through the now open roof with a roar of air under powerful wings.

While flying to the nearest airport (under his own wing power), Nogard became himself again. He started to tell Gavin about a vague memory flash he saw belonging to his real dragon father. His father was giving Nogard and Valory their names while they where still in their eggs.
“They will be called Shadowfire and Freedomfire, the last remaining legacy of the order of the Forgotten Flame,” Nogard could hear his father say in Drakzian.

Now Shadowfire wondered about how he was able to breathe fire, the fact being that he was never able to produce a spark, until now. Shadowfire also had a few questions to ask Mr William. What was William’s involvement in the Smoking Ember project, why has he not told them about Dr Radvik and what or who is he searching for..?

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Salsa_Shark
Salsa_Shark - - 1,292 comments

WOW! I really liked reading this :D, I had to turn the music off though.
I think this was very original, plus it had dragons, :) and a girl with a German accent <3, and I'm not much of a reader.

Another thing I noticed; Nogard's last name "Drake" means "Dragon" in Dutch, although, I'm guessing because of where you're from, it's actually Afrikaans. :)

Very cool story bro. :P

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Sab3rr Author
Sab3rr - - 2,477 comments

nah the names are all from English...so ya it means dragon. but ya the names didn't stay the same as they are in here.

Thx for the feedback!
tell me if you want the synopsis
part 2 is also coming!

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Salsa_Shark
Salsa_Shark - - 1,292 comments

Ah OK, I only know that because of a story I was told as a kid, and so I checked with Google translator. :S Yeah, I would like the synopsis, and part 2, I’ll keep reading it, if you’re going to keep writing. :)

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