I'm replaying Enderal, a total conversion for Skyrim. I found it well-made, with a gripping story, great characters, and excellent music. I got a whole bunch of mods for my next playthrough, and one adds in a journal one can write in to record thoughts, events, etc. I'll be keeping this journal up as I play, and I figured it would be fun to share it here.
Heartfire, 17th, 4E 8234
He’s dead. Ryneus is dead. I… I don’t know how to feel. I… I don’t. He’s dead. He’s gone. Alice and I set a pyre for him on the coast. It’s all we can do. It’s all I can do. He was just a kid.
Silvergrove was an illusion. It was all a dream conjured up by the Black Stone. The villagers hated Ryneus when he was there, and thought he was cursed. One day they decided to kill him, but ended up knifing his father instead. Then they just left the kid to die.
That’s when the Black Stone came in. Offered to give him a world where everyone loved him. And that’s exactly what he got. Only Ryneus was too smart, and realized everything was just a fake, a dream bound to his will – everyone only loved him because he wanted them to.
That was what was in the back of my head: that sense that this was all too unreal. It hit me too late and I was too stupid to realize. Even so, Ryneus told me that I wasn’t like the others. He said I didn’t follow his will, and I made my own choices regardless of what he wanted.
He wanted me to stay. He wanted us to live together in Silvergrove. I told him I couldn’t – that I had to get back. He told me the truth about the village and broke down because he was afraid I would hate him. I promised him that if he ended the spell I’d take him back to Ark and take care of him. I made him a promise. And I couldn’t keep it.
The Black Stone didn’t like Ryneus trying to end the illusion – it possessed him and turned him into this massive beast. I put my helm on to fight it but I didn’t have to. Alice flared up like I’d never seen before and went at it. Engulfed the whole thing in an inferno and burnt it to ash. I think she was just as pissed as I was.
After the illusion came down, I found Ryneus in his house, deformities and all – the whole left side of his body was warped. He was barely conscious. He couldn’t walk from the pain he was in. I figured I could find a horse or something and get him to the Myrad tower – maybe use some Light Magic to keep him alive. I left to find a ride and when I couldn’t, I drew one out of the Sea.
But he was gone when I got back – was muttering about his father… apologizing for something he did. I don’t know. Then he died.
I don’t know. As I’m writing this, I just feel distant. All I can hear is the crashing of the waves and the crackling of the pyre we lit, mixed in with Alice’s howling. It’s getting late… the sun’s already set. Everyone here is dead. I need to get back to Ark.
He called me his big sister.
Link to Enderal. It's important to note that the writing above is based almost entirely on the story created by an extraordinarily talented group of modders. Credit is due to them, not to me. I would also be remiss to not credit Arcones for the idea of using a parchment-looking background to add some flavor.