The Final Build is almost ready. I'm looking at my premature baby lying on a cold steel table, crying in the brown slurry of the birthing defecation. It cries as if to say "why didn't you hire a real artist?" Also, "what's up with Mac support? Shouldn't you at least, like, fire me up on a Mac and make sure I work?" Fuck you kid, I'm working on it. The universe does not want me to test on a fucking Mac. I have annoyed my few remaining friends endlessly about this subject. "HAI DO U HAV MACINTOSH OR KNOW NE1 WHO DOES?" "No, Wes, I don't. Also how did you get this number?" Current plans involve testing on university computers, because the town that I live in is a machine for converting naivete into student debt. Fucking jackals, but they have macs.
So other than that I'm looking at a finished build. Done done done, more or less. I hope you people like it. And by "like," I mean, "don't ignore amid the cornucopia of indie games that have better art THE SELLOUTS." Those guys may have innovative new gameplay modes paired with actual artistic talent, but I have IRONIC STICK FIGURES* and WITTY DIALOGUE.
(*Note: Stick Figures are not ironic. I actually can' t draw for shit.**)
(**This is a lie, I'm sort of OK at pixel art but I can't make anything that looks professional. I am caught in the awkward twixt-space between 12-Oz Mouse HOW I MAEK DRAWRING and DeviantArt "people are jerking off to sonicSLASHdumbledore.png but how do I monetize this." I can't draw but I'm trying really hard, which is somehow even more shameful than producing Sonic / Harry Potter erotic fanart. Please forgive me.)
Whatever. You should play MurderHobo: Aggravation Quest. Because it's fucking rad, and even if you don't think so you're only out a few bucks. Seriously, if you don't like MHAQ you can go download Rogue Legacy or Gunpoint (the two games I am currently playing to relieve the soul-crushing anxiety of pretending I don't care what the internet thinks of my infantile fridge-scribblings) and then complain on their forums about awful my game is. Either you get a fun diversion that fills up a few hours between cradle and grave, or you get to feel intellectually superior to some fanboy twatracket who actually likes my slap in the face to the indie game community. Win-win.
MurderHobo: Aggravation Quest. Coming August 2013. "What else do you have to do that's so fucking important?"
The gameplay looks pretty sweet.
Head over to tigsource and see if any artists are willing to team up with you - There are people with serious talent (and lots of free time on their hands) over there.
Thanks!
Boxed-wine-fueled ravings aside, I'm actually not looking for an artist. I've enjoyed drawing everything myself, however ill-advised it may turn out to be.
Promotional posts are supposed to be positive and upbeat, right? How does one even do that? It'd be like driving down the freeway in reverse. I understand the mechanics involved but I couldn't do it without crashing into a busload of cub scouts.