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Two magnificent boxers compete for the belt, but one turns out to be clearly outclassed. Even though both have the same coach. Sit back, enjoy.

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In the words of the awesome and acclaimed General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett, VC, KCB, DSO: "BBAAAAHHH"! You were not expecting me this early, and neither was I. The previous post simply contained more lies upon lies, designed to spread disarray in the general populace. And seriously, I'm simply feeling a sudden rush of energy and making use of this extremely rare occurrence while it lasts. Given the circumstances, this time I give absolutely no promises or even guesses as to the timing of future releases. And now to prove that I do not Laz-e about.

In the left corner, cue the currently reigning heavyweight champion, Escape from Totenhaus. WBA, IBF, WBO, IBO, ETC. Coached by the famous, one and only Laz Rojas. As the champ enters the ring, Eye of the Tiger playing in the background, he tells us a story about an Allied spy, found out and captured in Bavaria in 1943. He has been led to the infamous Totenhaus - House of Death, where particularly dangerous Allied captives go, never to return again. Can the rugged agent escape still? And now the fans cheer as our champ tosses his boxing robe - my God, look at that athletic body! So many new walls, some new enemies and sprites too, ten maps for the Third Encounter! Can anyone possibly hope to defeat this beast of a man? Surely not...

Laz Rojas.

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Escape from Totenhaus

And yet, in the right corner, we now have our contender, Escape from Totenhaus Special Edition, a breakthrough prospect coached by the famous, one and only Laz Rojas! As the boxers get ready to rumble, we should prepare ourselves for a long night as the two giants are certain to employ their full gamut of tricks and maneuvers to outplay the other one and oh my word that's an instant knockout. The champ can barely get back on his wobbly feet! SE wins! SE wins! Let's hear what our expert has to say on the matter:

"Good night, ladies and gentlemen! An astonishing resolution to what should have been an incredible fight, no doubt, but perhaps we should have seen it coming? To put it bluntly, Escape from Totenhaus SE is exactly what Escape from Totenhaus hoped to be, but more and better. More enemies, some entirely new, some replaced as to give an overall visual theme where everyone you fight is clad in black or grey; heck, even the dogs have the right fur colour. This contrasts finely with predominantly brown walls. Mapping is improved across the cards, overhauling everything, perfecting decoration and adding new areas. Still maybe too many enemies, but that's up to personal preference, is it not? And the sounds, have you heard the entire repertoire? Don't all those new female bosses sound almost... seductive? You know they do. The result was under our noses even before the fight started, we merely refused to acknowledge it. All hail the new champion!"

Laz Rojas.

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Escape from Totenhaus SE

All right, drone, your brief moment of entertainment is over. Back to dreary reality.

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