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Lord Gaben came to me in a vision late one evening...

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Company/Developer Pyramid

_____/\ Valve (Ruling Family of the PC Master Race)
____/__\ PC Dedicated (Royal Families)
___/____\ Platform Neutral (Citizenry)
__/______\ Console Dedicated (Peasants)
_/________\ Bad/Late Console Porters (Heretics)

/__________\ Facebook Game Creators (Xenos)

Valve (among other more obscure PC retailers): They hold together the PC. Valve is the Omega. The all powerful. The eternal. This is where your library of games is and forever shall be.

PC Dedicated Developers (ex. Roberts Space Industries): They are the designers of our world. Our creators. They forge the realms upon which we stride and battle upon. No amount of potential to-purchase content is beyond reason unless the initial content is lacking, the prices unfair, or its purchase would warp the very ecosystem of the game. Support them to the lint filled corners of your wallet, so long as they support you.

Platform Neutral (ex. Ubisoft): These build for all, and when their games do come to PC they are at least functioning better than the console version, given the PC's superiority in power textures will be refined and in totality run better/more smoothly. If their monetary practices are sound, give them your money; just not all of it.

Console Dedicated: Those who deny the PC their works and loose then upon only consoles are hardly worth note. They are the lesser race, those who supply the peasants the crumbs they see as nourishment. These lesser creators often strive for nothing more than the lowest common denominator and have little to no personality in their games.

Bad/Late Console Porters (ex. Rockstar): There are some who still wish to gain monetary gain from all platforms, yet only focus on the largest mass of profit. These are the Heretics. They blatantly care only for your money, will delay a PC release for an extended period of time and even then sometimes the game will be in a dismal state. The ones who take this route deserve nothing; obtain the game by whatever means you deem appropriate and expend mercy as you see fit though they deserve none. Let the heretics feed the pyre of those who oppose the PC Master Race.

Facebook Game Creators: Suffer not the heretic, though above all waste not a cell in your brain upon the thought of the xenos who fund, develop, or play Facebook games.

(ElfFriend originally came up with the pyramid hierarchy; I made one thereafter for Producers & Developers)


That's awesome! Great job, although you could have at least mentioned I pretty much gave you that idea or was at least first with something like that but without a few of the points.

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ComradeWinston Author

Well certainly, you should do an addendum article for the gamers.

The peasants must be taught their place.

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I agree but I doubt I have the time to write entire article so I'll leave that to others.
Now that I think about it I'm pretty sure Ubisoft was a pretty bad example. ACR was a pretty bad port and AC3 was a MONTH late, a month! Because of that PC gamers could play along with the ingame time-line. (Peasants got AC3 about the exact time that Desmond gets to the grand temple) No Ubisoft was not the best example. CD Project RED values us while planning to port The Witcher 3 to the consoles and The Witcher 2 was also ported to consoles. Therefore I think CD Project RED should either be in rank 3 or rank 1. Rank one because of Good Old Games. Long live DRM free games:D

P.S. Thanks for giving me credit.

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ComradeWinston Author

The problem with that is CD Project Red is a PC focused developer. Even if they do eventually port the game to console it simply can't be the same.

And when it comes to Ubisoft, I couldn't care less about Assassin's Creed. As far as I'm concerned its their Call of Duty; a revenue stream between other good games. Watch Dogs, The Division, and Ghost Recon Online earn them a solid place in the neutral zone.

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Assassin's creed was great and although I no longer buy it due to it being pretty much the same these days I still play it because of the story and so I learn a bit of history. However if they spent more time, made the game difficult for the right reasons and allowed mods for AC that series would be amazing. If you want to see me rage about how bad Ubisoft is check:

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