I like to be wrong, knowing I am wrong, and yet continuing to be wrong, to further the rustling.
Remove the Arms: Actual butchering of the carcass is now ready to begin. Cut into the armpit straight to the shoulder, and remove the arm bone, the humerus, from the collar bone and shoulder blade. Chop the hand off an inch or so above the wrist. Most of the meat here is between elbow and shoulder, as the muscle groups are larger here and due to the fact that there are two bones in the forearm. Another way of cutting this portion is to cut away the deltoid muscle from the upper arm near the shoulder (but leaving it attached to the trunk) before removing the limb. This decreases the percentage of useable meat on the arm, but allows a larger shoulder strip when excising the shoulder blade. Purely a matter of personal preference. Cut into and break apart the joint of the elbow, and the two halves of each arm are now ready for carving servings from. Human flesh should always be properly cooked before eating.
Halving the Carcass: The main body is now ready to be split. Some like to saw straight through the spine from buttocks to neck. This leaves the muscle fiber encasing the vertebrae on the end of the ribs. The meat here however is tightly wrapped about the bone, and we find it more suitable (if used at all) when boiled for soup. Thus, our preferred method is to completely remove the entire backbone by cutting and then sawing down either side from the tailbone on through.
Quartering the Carcass: The halves may now be taken down, unless your preparation table or butcher block is very short. This is inadequate, and you will have to quarter while hanging, slicing through the side at a point of your choosing between rib cage and pelvis. Now is also the time to begin thinking about how you would like to serve the flesh, as this will determine the style of cuts you are about to make. These will also be greatly affected by the muscular configuration (physical fitness) of your specimen. First, chop the feet off at a point about three inches up from the ankle. The bones are very thick where the leg connects to the foot. You will want to divide the side of meat into two further principal portions: the ribs and shoulder, and the half-pelvis and leg. In between is the "flank" or belly, which may be used for fillets or steaks, if thick enough, or even bacon strips if you wish to cut this thinly. Thin and wide strips of flesh may also be rolled, and cooked to serve as a roast. Trim away along the edge of the ribs, and then decide whether you will cut steaks from the flank into the thighs and rump, and carve accordingly.
Cutting the Top Quarter: Although not actually 25% of the meat you will get, this is designated as one-fourth of the carcass as divided into major portions. You may trim away the neck, or leave it to be connected with the shoulder, or "chuck". The first major step with this mass is to remove the shoulder blade and the collar bone. The best and easiest way we have found is to just cut along the outline of the shoulder blade, removing the meat on top and then dislocating the large bone. To excise the collar bone make an incision along its length and then cut and pry it away. Depending upon the development of the breast, you may decide it qualifies as a "brisket" and remove it before cutting the ribs. In the female the breast is composed largely of glands and fatty tissue, and despite its appetizing appearance is rather inedible. The ribs are the choice cut of the quarter. An perennial favorite for barbecuing, you may divide into sections of several ribs each and cook them as is, divide the strip in half for shorter ribs, or even carve rib steaks if the muscle mass is sufficient.
Cutting the Lower Quarter: This is where most of the meat is, humans being upright animals. The muscle mass is largest in the legs and rump. The bulk is so comparatively large here that you can do just about anything with it. The main pieces are the buttock or rump and the upper leg, the thigh. Our typical division is to cut the leg off at the bottom of the buttock, then chop away the bony mass of the knee, at places two to three inches away in either direction. Before doing this, however, you may want to remove the whole calf muscle from the back of the lower leg, as this is the best cut in its area. The upper leg is now ready for anything, most especially some beautiful, thick round steaks. The rump will have to be carved from the pelvis in a rather triangular piece. The legs attach at the hip at a forward point on the body, so there will be little interference as you carve along the curve of the pelvis. Remaining meat will be on the thighs in front of the pelvis.
And that's basically it. An average freezer provides plenty of storage space, or you may even wish to build a simple old-fashioned smokehouse (just like an outhouse, with a stone firepit instead of a shitter). Offal and other waste trimmings can be disposed of in a number of ways, burial, animal feed, and puree and flush being just a few. Bones will dry and become brittle after being baked an oven, and can be pulverized.
BBQ SAUCE
Ingredients:
Serves eight or more
Fin!
Feel free to add any in the comments, I'll update it.
Suicide: Rage Quit (Stalker)
Death of natural causes: Round ended (Stalker)
Killed by another person: Killed by another player (Stalker)
Death from being crushed or failling: Worldspawn/Pointhurt (Stalker)
Birth: Respawn (Stalker)
Post-Death: Spectating (Stalker)
Living: In-Game (Stalker)
Disease/Bodily Problems: Lag (A.K.A. Close to disconnecting?) (Stalker)
Last moments in life: Connection Error (Stalker)
Murder: Kicked/Banned From T3h CVAR (Stalker)
Sick: Corrupted File(s) (Stalker)
Sex (Whoa! That's actually included?!): Leveling Up (Stalker)
Day/ Nightime: Map Transition (Stalker)
Heaven: Admin Control (Stalker)
Hell: Blue Screen (Stalker)
Getting A Girlfriend: New Item Aquired (MahtXL)
Getting Dumped: Item Lost (Maht XL)
Coughing: Ping To High (Maht XL)
Parkour: Left 4 Dead Hunter Wannabe (Stalker)
New Friend: *Name Here* has added you (Stalker)
Party: Group Chat (Stalker)
Music: In-Game Music Player (Maht XL)
End Of The World: Server Shutting Down (Stalker)
Ninja: Spyware (CplRush)
Getting assfucked: Virus (CplRush)
Sneezing: Ping spike (Maht XL)
Sleep: A.F.K. (Maht XL)
AIDS: 4Chan (Gammerman12)
Commercials: In Game Ads (Maht XL)
Thermal Vision: Wall Hacks (Stalker)
Mute: No Microphone (Stalker)
Adrenalin: Speed hacks (CplRush)
Aspirin: PEELZ HERE! (Stalker)
Cripple : Missing Keyboard Keys (CplRush)
Deaf: No Speakers (Maht XL)
Blind: No Monitor (Maht XL)
God: Server Owner (Stalker)
The President: Server Co- Owner (Stalker)
Taking Pictures: Screenshot (Maht XL)
Bullies: Forum Trolls (Stalker)
Noobs: Toddlers (Maht XL)
School Tutorials (AUG Dude)
Bills: Spam (Stalker)
World Population: Number Of Players In Server (Stalker)
Cheque: Challenge Complete (MW2 Reference) (Stalker)
War: Team Death Match (Stalker)
Taking A Dump: Deleting Temporary Files (Maht XL)
Eating Aquiring Temporary Files (Maht XL)
Farting: Cooling Fan Activated (Maht XL)
Running: Shift + W (Mattman Dude)
Walking: Alt + W (Mattman Dude)
Jumping: Space or X (Mattman Dude)
Marriage: Co-op Campaign (zak-attack)
Painting: Reskin (Stalker)
Naked (Oh God, it had to be me...): Nude Patch (Stalker):
Birthday: Rank In Server (Stalker)
E: Very First Real Life + Internet Meme (Stalker)
Yelling: Caps Lock (Stalker)
Purgatory: Will respawn in 5...4...3... (KEVLAR60442)
Ignoring Some One: Mute Microphone (Stalker)
Travelling In An Airline Jet: Fast Travel (Stalker)
Fat: Back Up Files (Stalker)
Muscles: Operating System (TheGilgamesh)
Eugenics: System Upgrades (Stalker)(TheGilgamesh)
Wound Healing: Health Kit ([ªAUGdudeº])
Obesity: Boomer Wannabe ([ªAUGdudeº])
Check-up: Update ([ªAUGdudeº])
Seizure: Framerate Drop (KEVLAR60442)
Plastic Surgery: Changing Player Model (MahtXL)
White Apple Ear Buds: Playing Through A Mac. (Stalker)
April Fools: Rickroll'd (MattmanDude)
Answer To All of Life's Problems: Do a Barrel Roll! (MattmanDude)
Mental Capacity: RAM (Stalker)
Jail: Broken Computer ([ªAUGdudeº])
Number Stations
E as some members of Modibah may know was either created by my friend Matt Moddb.com farting, or either his floor fans blades, rotating on high mode on his carpet causing a loud E noise. Now, a few months later, we have turned E into some sort of psychotic savage sounding chant. For example, we go into these nice little quite gmod servers, mics are enabled, a few people talking over the mic here and there and "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!". We grief and crash the server screaming E in a deep throaty voice! Shooting innocent players left, right and center!
Just picture, a nice little peaceful forest with birds chirping and some deers wandering around like zombies, then a few minutes later... A few hunters come in shoot all the animals, then a few lumber jacks saunter in with there saws and trucks taking the trees down and away and mashing the ground to a muddy shit hole, then a big ass forest fire comes straight on it completely finishing everything that had some hope of recovering is dead as the Egyptian times! We make sure if there's any admins on we wait as long as we have to for the inevitable screaming doom of the server. We scream and curse at little kids as they try to defend their squeaky annoying voices, we tell all the annoying nerdy teens with cracky fucked up voices to get right the fuck out. We may be mingebags, we may be noobs, but we are definitely comedic in our evil doings! I will upload a few pictures in a day or two. Because, we never have that much time to stand around and take pics of a nice little civil community of players!
Here, I finnaly found some pics that didn't spew with racism and sexual stuff hahaha!
(I am not held responsible for my friends doings.)
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To much time: