It's Not Easy, Being a Greasy Emo Vampire blog - Nocis

Few people stop to think of how hard life is for vampires, nowadays. We're not feared in the local villages, like we used to be. Instead, incredibly irritating emo girls hang around us all the time, going "Bite me, omg, i love you sooooo much, I want to be with you forever" and blah blah blah.

It's like - where's the fear?? Where's the awe?? Ok, we've stopped drinking human blood, but seriously - all those chemicals you expose yourselves to, what do you figure??

Anyways, this girly-thing. I started hanging out with her because I like the smell of fish, but soon she thought I loved her and stuff. I mean, wtf!? And inside my mind I'm going: "Wtf, lady, do you think I want you around me for all eternity!? Sod off!". Of course, I can't say that to her. Knowing this one, she'd probably go get herself bitten by some level 1 vampire familiar and come back to haunt me - for eternity. I think I may have solved the problem by telling her it's because I love her so damn much, I don't want her to suffer - like me - as a vampire.......

AND SHE BOUGHT IT!! Ahahahaha! As IF my life is full of suffering! Well, apart from her, I mean.
I mean - I'm immortal, forever young and strong as hell! I have mah crew of hardcore vampire guys and I can use my charm to get me any girl I damn well please! Life as a vampire is... Wait for it... L-E-G-E-N-D-A-R-Y!!!

So, now I just gotta see if I can pawn her off to that werewolf guy. Hehe, she's going to get a surprise once she finds out exactly how feral he is. House-trained is going to take on a whole new meaning!
Enjoy, BITCH!

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For those of you going: "What the..." right now, this blog post is a response to the news post that Gman/Indiejunkie wrote on the website (Eternal Silence). I sure as hell hope I didn't offend any non-twilight fans out there. If I offended any twilight-fans, well... I can live with that :)