Insurgency blog - Argyll

The following was posted by rqqt2 on the INS Forums:Murphy's Laws of Insurgency:
1. The last guy on your team who is alive will not call reinforcements.
2. The fire mode of the weapon you pick up will be opposite of what you wanted and it will not have a round chambered.
3. Whenever you are doing something important like capping a capzone
or providing sniper fire to your rushing teammates you will be
teamkilled by Grunt.
4. The “Objective X is under attack” warning is gonna be ignored by 100% of your teammates.
5. You will get killed exactly when you are almost done reloading your SAW or RPK.
6. You will get teamkilled 2 seconds before you finish capping the last objective with 0 reinforcements left.
7. Your voice chat, text chat and player animation warning “cover me i’m reloading” will be ignored by 100% of your team.
8. Any other tactical advice based on your 2 year, 600 hour experience in Insurgency will be ignored by 100% of your teammates.
9. A 12 year old is gonna be the commander of your team, give orders
and provide tactical advice. Everyone on your team is gonna listen to
him.
10. You will run out of ammo exactly when 4 enemies are charging at you.
11. You will not have any grenades when you see 4 enemies pile into a room.
12. You will get shot when you are reloading your weapon.
13. Your warnings of “not bunching up together” will be ignored by 100% of your teammates.
14. When half of your team decides to make a coordinated attack, they will be wiped out by an RPG.
15. Enemy RPG will target you, running by yourself and not the group
of 4 of your teammates 5 meters in front of you. You would not be upset
because you saw that RPG round hit you in your face, and you thought
that was cool.
16. If you are the commander you will forget that you have zero reinforcements left.
17. If you are the commander you will forget to set the objective.
18. You will die after you jump off a cliff that you had jumped off hundred times before without a scratch.
19. Grunt will take the most important weapon class for the current map.
20. USMC Sergeant class is going to be taken by Grunt, Grunt(1), Grunt(2) and Grunt(3)
21. You will kill yourself and a third of your team when shooting
your RPG behind a wall that reaches up to your torso or any other type
of cover.
22. You will walk away without a scratch after shooting RPG inside an enclosed room.
23. If you are a Grenadier, you will always be shot when you are
either changing from your 203 to your rifle, or from your 203 to your
pistol.
24. Your seven pistol shots can not kill a prone enemy in the back.
25. You will pistol kill your enemy 30 meters away with 3 shots.
26. Your defending teammates will smoke all the approaches to the objective.
27. Your attacking teammates will not use a single smoke to cover their advance.
28. You will be pwning the opposing team with zero team communications.
29. You team consisting of clanners will be pwn3d by the opposing team. All 12 of your teammates will be communicating 100%
30. Your spray that you spent 2 hours in Photoshop on will be covered by the default Saddam spray.
31. You will get banned.
32. The voicespamming, teamkilling, spawncamping, myg0t, 4thmd, wallhacking 12 year old will not get banned.
33. You will always be too close to use your 203.
34. You will always be blocked in a doorway by your teammate when your objective is under attack.
35. You will be blocked in a doorway by your teammate at all other times.
36. Your teammate will walk in the open to check around the corner of the alleyway and live.
37. You will be shot when a pixel of your head peeks around a corner for a millisecond.
38. You will die, standing behind cover, a second after you run
across an alleyway and yelled “god damn that was close, man I’m good at
dodging bullets”
39. The more you play Insurgency the more likely you will be called a noob by one of your teammates.
40. The more you play Insurgency the more likely you will be ordered around by one of your teammates.
Do you think the list is not complete? Do you have what it takes to complete it. Feel free to add your own laws.