Pound the Puss
Welcome to the Pound the Puss walkthrough! If you're stuck, here's all the information you'll need. I've segmented everything to avoid spoiling too much. All you'll need for this game is your mouse. So, click past those text boxes and finish the tutorial!
PART 1 - Tutorial
This part is very self-explanatory. Just do what the narrator keeps telling you to. Once you're looking for the key, it can be found in the drawer underneath the kitchen table. I have to warn you, though, that if you're genuinely using the walkthrough for this, you're gonna have a hard fuckin' time. Use the key on the door to unlock a... charming opening cutscene.
PART 2 - Miranda
After witnessing the title card, Pound decides to embark on a quest to find his mom's omelette. You can now move to the front yard. There is a half-naked pig roasting her own ass on your front lawn. You need to move forward, but she's asleep. Simply click on her to wake her up. Once she's awake, you can feed her the apple that you picked up during the tutorial.
After she fart-splodes, you can pick up her ribs for later. Also, there is a quarter resting on your window sill. Grab that, too.
PART 3 - Exploring
Now you can move forward to find a spaceship laying in the grass. Go in, and talk to Shuttlecock. He'll tell you that, when in space, he suffered an alien bite (on the donger) that made him a carnivore, and that he can only become aroused after eating meat. This is relevant to later, so don't forget it.
After talking to Shuttlecock, you can raid his house for some sweet items. After he takes his attention off of it, you can snag the bottle resting on his table. Also, in his second and fourth drawers, you can find another quarter and a container of hair gel, respectively. Grab all of these for later.
There's nothing more we can do in here yet, so head back out.
Now you'll find yourself outside of Crusty's Pub. We can't go in here yet, says Al the bouncer. That's fine. Before leaving here, check the trash can to find a useful frying pan. Also, one of the poles is hiding another quarter. Grab that, too.
Move forward again to find Rita the Chicken's nesting area. Talk to her to see if she'll give you her egg... But, of course, she won't.
Before leaving here, check the burrow in the tree to find a penny. We'll need every cent!
PART 4 - Chickens
Rita mentioned longing for a man again. Luckily, we know another horny chicken not too far from here. Head back to Shuttlecock's spaceship and talk to him. He's up for seducing Rita, but he'll need some meat first. We have a rack of uncooked ribs, but he can't eat raw meat.
Combine your new frying pan with your rack of uncooked ribs, and return to the fireplace that killed Miranda the Pig. Use the ribs + pan on the fire to cook them. Head back to Shuttlecock's, give him the ribs, and a cutscene will activate.
PART 5 - Can't Make an Omelette Without...
After Rita runs away into Shuttlecock's arms, you'll find another quarter where she was sitting. Also, her egg is now up for grabs. Take both. You should now have all the money in the game.
Now, combine the egg with the frying pan and return to where you cooked the ribs. Use it on the fire to make that omelette!...
...Or not. Well, might as well make the best out of a bad situation, and pick up those baby ashes and the feather.
Combine the baby ashes with the hair gel to craft yourself a fake mustache. Go back to Crusty's Pub, and try to fool the bouncer.
PART 6 - Crusty's
After "fooling" the bouncer, head on into Crusty's Pub, where you'll find quite a lot of... interesting distractions. First of all, you can grab the remote laying on the bar to turn off the dinosaur porn on the TV (but why would you want to?). Once Crusty is less distracted, you can talk to him about the absurd omelette price of $7.01. He tells you that as long as it's on "duh board," that that's the price.
Talk to the drunk octopus off to the right. He tells you that he needs a place to pee. Give the octopus the bottle from Shuttlecock's room; he'll then fill it up with ink.
Combine the feather that you got from the chick with the ink bottle to make yourself a quill. Turn the TV back on with the remote to distract Crusty, and use the quill to change the price of the omelette to $1.01.
Turn the TV back off with the remote so that Crusty will pay attention to you, then pay Crusty your $1.01. If you're missing cash, you can find coins on the window sill in your frontyard, in the second drawer of Shuttlecock's spaceship, floating on the pole outside of Crusty's Pub, underneath Rita the Chicken, and inside the burrow of the big tree. If you have all this, Crusty will accept your money and give you the omelette.
Hurry back to your mom's room, and complete the game!