|Looking for someone to help fix my story (Kaiser and the Chaos Clockworks)||Locked|
|Nov 27 2015 Anchor|
Hey guys, If there are any storyboard or writers who can help me "adjust" my storyline in my game to make it look more professional please do so, but anyways, allow me to show you the storyline:
Kaiser & The Chaos Clockworks Story: The Meridian Empire and Kaiser's Fate
Eons ago... there was an ancient empire whose reign lasted over 1,000 years or even more...
this device was known as the chaos clockworks
but however the king, Chronos and the queen, Reina had a child... the child was however "special" the child had the strength and will like his father...
but meanwhile, kaiser was however tooken a dna sample so that they can remake a perfect prince of the past in case his fate wasn't as good as they hoped for
However, in the far future, the young hero kaiser, was sent to a foster home, in the home, he met 3 new friends, Leonidas (aka: Leon), Onett, and Alice
and if you want to hear it in a more comedic narration, here is a link to an audio file, showing my character (voiced by myself) reading the story to viewers of the audio file
|Dec 10 2015 Anchor|
What is it you're actually looking for here? I mean I don't want to come across as difficult, but I'm not sure whether you're looking for feedback on the story, or whether this is a script and you want it proof-reading? Are you looking to learn whether this story makes a good backdrop for a game? Do you think there are problems in the plot that need looking at?
If you want to look more professional - and again, I'm not quite sure what you mean by that - I'd have a little read over this thread. One way to look professional is to use correct spelling, grammar and formatting to make it easier to read your text. That shows respect and consideration for language (which isn't really important but looks good in a writer), and for your audience/readers (which is really important).
A personal tip for you, based on what I've read: don't use ellipses (...). Ever. Ban them from your grammar for a month, forget about them. Then go read about how they work and slowly re-introduce them where appropriate. Ditto the word "however".
For what it's worth, writing is actually a very difficult skill. It's an art form. I've spent years practicing and I still have no idea what I'm doing, really. It's like drawing a line on paper doesn't make you an artist; being able to fill out a sentence does't make you a writer. It takes practice - and sometimes heartbreak - to develop those skills. Even if you're lucky enough to have natural talent.
I'd also add: it's OK not to be good at something. It's OK to seek help in your weaker areas, or to ask "Guys, I'm not sure, is this any good?". Maybe you're great at world-building but bad at plots. Maybe you write hilarious dialogue but struggle with grammar. Perhaps you're all about the big picture and poor at detail - or vice-versa. Maybe the writing and story-telling side of game design isn't your strong suit and you should focus on art or programming or management. That's all fine. Just know your limits.
I can't do art, music, self-promotion or speaking to girls. That's fine (mostly - I'd really really like to be able write music): I try to be aware of my weaknesses and adjust for them.
Best of luck!
|Sep 30 2016 Anchor|
|Nov 4 2016 Anchor|
I'm willing to look deeper at your story and add a little depth to it.
And if this story has been made for a game, then the game genre, mechanics, etc is also important for the writer.
Mail me if you want...
GeneralJist Project coordinator/ Producer, PR Lead, and Lead writer
|Jan 15 2017 Anchor|
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