Christopher Quinn, novelist, British citizen, eldest son of Lord and Lady Quinn of Rotchestershire, England, was rather surprised when he came home from...
Christopher Quinn, novelist, British citizen, eldest son of Lord and Lady Quinn of Rotchestershire, England, was rather surprised when he came home from a booksigning tour one day to find that both his parents were dead. He was even more surprised when he dropped to his knees and burst out laughing.
Indeed, this worried him when he had recovered, so as soon as the funeral was over he toddled on down to this local psychiatric hospital for a checkup. He was found to possess a borderline psychopathic personality, and it was recommended that he stay at the institute for further evaluation.
One night, Chris is awoken by a terrible scream. At first he thinks another serious inmate is being given a cold shower, but then he notices a rather eerie silence hanging over the place. He could hear unearthly moans and grisly noises in the distance. A security guard burst in, a knife buried in his spine, and collapsed upon the floor, dead. Even with slight psychosis Chris can tell something is very, very wrong. He dresses swiftly in his civilian clothes and trenchcoat, and arms himself with the deceased guard's gun.
As he prepares to face whatever is waiting for him outside the door, a thin and baffling smile crosses his face.
While you're waiting for it to download, you might as well read up on what's goin' down in this TC!
Automatic Rifle: It's kind of like the Chaingun Cannon, only it's uglier. And it's slightly more powerful and can carry slightly less bullets. Who the hell am I trying to kid, eh?
Book of Transformations: An ancient and revered book of magic which allows Chris to transform his enemies into helpful things, like ammo or health. He does, however, run the risk of creating something equally hostile!
There's another new weapon, but you're technically only supposed to get it in episode 3, and you can currently only get it by cheating, so I'd better not talk about it.
Zombies: Living humans turned into mindless subservient drones by an all-powerful and all-encompassing diabolical force. A stark satire on the plight of today's workers, then.
Rotguts: 3D Realms are mean bastards so they don't let you change much about the Protozoid Slimer, except the graphics and sound. So here's what I came up with; a sentient pile of cartilage that bursts from the bodies of the dead and comes after you. Shit!
Lardarses: Bloated uber-zombies with big gatling guns who look a bit like the Honey Monster. They come in both regular and pant-wetting sizes.
Ghosts: Dead souls given partial physical form, they can turn the dreadful coldness of death into a projectile with which to attack you! They also have a nasty habit of teleporting in front of you without warning.
Poltergeists: Lacking physical form themselves, the poltergeist forms a cloud of debris around itself. It can send disorienting waves at you, or hurl proximity explosives. Be careful when shooting them; they're sometimes a little volatile.
Spectre: The boss of episode 2. He's a big fucker.
by Ben "Yahtzee" Crosshaw