Blog - phipe

0 comments by phipe on Nov 7th, 2009 digg this super bookmark

The devout Christians among us know that science is both evil and sin. It exist solely to undermine Gods glorious word and tempt all those who have wavering faiths. But is there anything that can be said in favor if this corruptible institution? Actualy, yes - for although science is to be distrusted and denounced when it contradicts the Bibles teachings, the Lord permits thee to embrace it on the rare instances when it does not. One such instance: both science and religion agree that it would hurt to get zapped with lightning.

Science have used their equipment and laboratories to deduce that lightning travels 186,000 miles per second- a full one tenth as fast as the Lord himself travels - So just imagine how much it would hurt for something that fast to run into your toaster which happens to be behind your wall which happens to be behind a piano which happens to be behind a classic pianochair which happens to be under You. It makes you want to start pleasing God right now, doesnt it, so that He wont´ have a reason to send any lightning your way?

Scientists also tells us that lightning is capable of splittig trees in half and make them catch fire. Indeed, even if you are not a tree, you should still be wary of such a fate. One never knows.

Scientists tells us that lightning travels faster than does thunder, which Christianity has not yet to consensus on.

Finally, scientists tell us that rain, which often occurs simultaneously with lightning, represents Gods crying; if this is the case, the lightning represents God smiting sinful heathens. Every time you see lightning across the sky, picture some unlucky person or tree who has recently sinned. Be thankful that it was not you-and start readjusting your life to make sure it stays not you.

No longer is science good for nothing. Now it is good for one thing.