Also known as "Marcusyaho" Action/horror gamer and level designer. I can help you with more or less any Amnesia scripting and Level editor problems. I'm also available if you need a map tester
Mod Review on Nov 16th, 2014
This story makes no sense whatsoever and I will explain why further down.
"You are Aidan, an electrician"
1: Electricity does not exist in the storys timeline
2: His job doesn't change the story in any way shape or form. He could have been anything and the story would still be the same
3: He goes back to his apartment and sees police cars, and decides to leave the estate? What?
The story wasn't too wierd untill I went to the cellar, on the second floor. The door locked itself and Aidan instantly assumes that someone else must have locked it even though no one else is in the castle.
I found a sparekey and a key to the prison.
I go to the prison, see that every door except one is blocked by walls and enters the only room that isn't blocked, picks up a key and leaves the map.
I use the key I found on the entrance door. It breaks and I decided to try to unlock the door with the sparekey instead and it worked. Why not use the sparekey to begin with, instead of going to the prison first?! And who the **** have a prison inside an apartment building?!
I go outside and instead of just running away, decides to go to the hospital, steal a crowbar, magically unlock a office door like a regular key, get scared by body parts inside a closet before opening it, finds a secret tunnel, enter a room with 3 pictures and a door, nothing else, enters the door and climbs up a well without a ladder (by the way, the area around the well is so terrible glitchy it's probably the ugliest thing I've seen in a story ever) and goes back to the estate...
This time however, I go to a different area of the estate only to find a hole in the ceiling I climb up to using a rope I found lying on the ground. The one and only monster in the whole story spawns but is too slow to do any harm at all, I leave the estate yet again and the story is over.
The story makes no sense at all and the level design is below average. You have a long way to go before you can make a good story.
Work more on the story and make it more logical and practice more with the level design.
What saved you from a 1/10 is the fact that you don't have a **** load of lame jumpscares like many mediocre stories have, don't use the names "Daniel and Alexander" and you don't have glitches everywhere with a few exceptions, like the part with the well, but it was okay otherwise.
3/10 - Bad
Mod Review on Jul 9th, 2014 - 2 people agree
- Voice acting
- No flying naked guys or lame jokes
- You know basic scripting
- Not many glitches compared to many other stories made by new authors
- Very short
- Voice acting is very quiet
- Cliché and unintresting story
- Lack of music and ambient sounds/particles
- Glitches, a few floating objects, stuff that should be static are dynamic
I agree with HumiliatoR, it's a bland and unintresting story.
The reason why I rate it 3/10 instead of lower is because I see a little potential in you. You didn't use lame flying nakes guy scares or made lame jokes only 7 year old kids think it is funny, and it was okay compared to what a lot of new mappers upload.
My suggestion to you is to both work longer on your next story, but also practise more before uploading a mod. It wasn't horrible for a first attempt, but it's bad compared to the average story.
3/10 - Bad
Mod Review on Jul 7th, 2014 - 1 person agrees 1 person doesn't
- Scary at times
- Custom music, entities and textures
- Worst english translation I have ever seen
- Overuse of jumpscares
- I had no idea what I was supposed to do
- Bad ending that made no sense
- Blocky and bland level design (with exception of the mansion)
What to improve:
Wow.. where do I begin?
The translation is the worst I have seen in my entire life. I said that about The Crypt, but you beat that story by a long shot. You use "his" instead of "me", you use "her" instead of "here", you even misspelled "Bitterwood Peak" in the credits and wrote "Batter Wood Peak" O_O'
I only understood around 20% of all the notes and mementos. You need help with the translation. A lot of help.
I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I ran to one room, scare event began, I ran to room after room untill another scare event began, ran to other rooms untill the next event started... No indication whatsoever.
It was a very repeditive gameplay. Jumpscare, jumpscare, found a key and a note, jumpscare, jumpscare, found a key and a note, jumpscare...
The mansion map was actually pretty beutiful and well made, but the rest of the maps looks like cubes. I looked out the windows in my house - no trees, no grass, only squary houses floating in the middle of nowhere.
Same with the forest. The forest was inside a large cube.
You have a huge creativity and the mansion map was, for the most part beutiful, but the translation is the worst I have ever seen and the story was bland, repeditive and unintresting.
3/10 - Bad
Mod Review on Mar 3rd, 2014 - 2 people agree 2 people don't
- Not a regular "you wake up in an unkown castle" story
- No lame jumpscares
- 95% key quests
- Plain, no details, boring and repeditive gameplay
- Short story and very smal maps
- Missing ceiling in the flooded map and the water texture made no sense
- Notes made no sense
- Lame and rushed ending
What to improve:
While the levels are relativly free from texture glitches, the maps in this story are very empty and have no details at all. It seems like you were lazy and placed a couple of barrels somewhere and then just copied them because they are all placed and rotated the same way everywhere.
The flooded map. First of all, it was extremly obvious that a water monster was coming, but what really got my attention where your texture selection and missing ceiling. Why does it look like it's a river? It's inside a house...
Both the archive and "chemical lab" were so extremly rushed and lame. The archive - wow, two bookshelfs and the same book copied like 7 times, magically floating on the water surface.
"Chemical lab" - no chemicals what so ever and the monsters left a button which could destroy the whole facility if you click on it (TV cartoons in a nutshell). You should also add pillars at the end of walls so we can't see through them.
Add more than just key quests, please. And the crowbar (during the crowbar quest) is placed at the wrong side of the door.
The first note is made by me, right? So, why did I write it and then picked it up? Makes no sense. The two notes in the mansion map made no sense either to be honest. Looked like an advanced puzzle. Turned out all I had to do was finding a key.
You though of a story and it wasn't bad for a first made CS, but I rate all stories the same way and to be honest, this one was boring and empty. I decided to give it a 3/10 anyway though because it's a good start and you have potential.
3/10 - Bad
Mod Review on Feb 18th, 2014 - 2 people agree 1 person doesn't
Since you told us it is going to be a troll story full of jumpscares, I'm not going to rate it a low score simply because it was a jumpscare story. But...
- It was scary sometimes
- A few creative areas
- Level design is boring and repetitive (with exception of the big grunt head part)
- 80% chase of monsters are in chase scenes
- Only key quests
- No story at all except for a brief description
- Low creativity (when it comes to quests, story etc)
Boring, repetitive and if you hate jump feasts and troll humour, a huge waste of time.
3/10 - Bad
Mod Review on Feb 11th, 2014 - 2 people agree 2 people don't
- Good level design at some places
- Custom sounds
- Floating objects, glitches and lame mapping at certain places
- Nothing but jumpscares
- No real story line except "you must get out" which is overused
- Monsters spawned infront of my face
- The exploding part made no sense
What to improve:
- You guys are very creative, but a lot of items are floating in the air, a lot of textures are glitchy (colliding with each other), and certain parts are just lame. Like when you crawl through a tunnel and see a level door at the end of it.
- Don't use only jumpscares. I am so used to them so I did not get scared even once, but I'm sure a lot of people were by the first 1-3 jumpscares, but eventually even scared players gets used to them.
- Make something else rather than the same old "you wake up at an unknown place, you must get out".
-"Read Nicholas notes, he will tell you where to go". Found 2 notes from him, and none of them really told me what to do.
It's just another jumpscare feast with lame scares and monsters spawning infront of your face. Some people said "the scripting is good". I barley saw any scripting except the quests and jumpscares. And it's not very surprising when the script files are 1-8KB huge at most.
The difference between this story and other lame jumpscare stories is the level design. Sadly though, I found a lot of floating items and texture glitches.
It's simply a bad story, not more, not less.
3/10 - Bad
Mod Review on Dec 24th, 2013 - 2 people agree
- Nice ideas I guess
- Catherine is a guy
- Same voice actor for every character, including Catherine
- Extremly short
- No challange
- Just like part one, horrible scares that isn't even scary (at least not more than once)
As much as I love the fact that you try to make something else rather than the same old "monsters kidnapped you, you must get out", this story is bad. Plain and simple.
The voice acting need improvements. And most importantly, don't use the same actor for every character...
The level design is average, but need way more details to be considered as good. The only quests in the story is basicly finding keys (I said you are creative and for the most parts you are, but seriously, you use the same "I need a sparekey to the bedroom" in both the houses). What I am trying to say is, there is no challange at all.
The scares are just lame and overused. I did personally not get scared even once, but I guess most people were... the first time. Then they got used to them just like I did. They simply don't work very well.
And dude come on... "Catherine" and I see a naked guy with a ***** speaking with a male voice. *Facepalm*.
The reason why I rate this one 3 and not 4 like the first part is because the first one actually had a bigger variation of quests (they were bad and simple as well, but at least you used more than keys) and because it seems like you spent a little bit longer on the mapping itself. Other than that, this one disapointed me just as much as part one.
You have huge potential. You just need to spend more time on your work. This part came out less than a month after the first part (and it shows).
3/10 - Bad
Mod Review on Sep 3rd, 2013
- Grunt scared me
- Design is okay (except for some minor mistakes and lack of details)
- Extremely short
- Absolutely no story at all
- No challange
What is there to jugde here? The story is 3 minuts long :/. The very short gameplay contained some decently good level design (at least the apartment. The staircase was however bland and had some minor mistakes, like missing weldars at the stairs).
The grunt was a bit scary though because I was hoping I could run further up. I was wrong. I jumped past him like a ninja and crawled into a corner in hope he would go away. Lukcily it was enough.
To be honest, it's a very boring story because it barley is a story in this.
3/10 - Bad
Mod Review on Aug 31st, 2013 - 2 people agree 1 person doesn't
- Attempt to create a storyline
- Some decent scares
- The puzzles were harder than expected
- Lame monster encounters
- The story is weak and illogical in many ways
- A lot of level design fails
- How am I supposed to unlock the desk door?
- You can interact with the grass at the first map, making it really buggy
- What did I need the silver key in the dining room for?
- I entered the dungeon and the door I came through disappeared?
- I had to cheat to beat the devil
- Your english can be highly improved
I played your first story and it was bad. You said this one was supposed to be better but I can honestly not see a huge difference. Your first story had a naked guy, this one didn't, although this story had monsters that appeared in front of my face for no reason, no billboards like your first story, a lot of level design mistakes and nothing make sense whatsoever.
What I'm trying to say is, you improved some things while some other things are worse than your first story. It seems like you learned something and forgot about other things.
3/10 - Bad
on Aug 28th, 2013
- 2 people agree
This review may contain spoilers
This story is so short so I might as well type down my gameplay
I spawned inside a cell and a key is lying on the floor infront of me. It's, ofcourse, unlocking the celldoor (You lock someone in but leave a key so he can get out? I see no logic in that). I find a key after a while and a grunt spawns. I only had 1.5 sec to hide so he saw me at first. Luckily he gave up. I unlocked the level door with the key.
I find the celler in the house I just went into.
End of chapter 1
I go deeper into the cellar (with only 2 rooms), I pick up the key and a water monster surprisingly spawn behind me. I jumped past him, went back to the house and chapter 2 ends.
I unlock a room with the key I found and picks up another key lying on the floor. A naked guy appears infront of my face for no reason in a pathetic attempt to scare me. Fails miserably.
I unlock the house entrance with the key.
End of story.
The only reason why I give you 3/10 instead of 1 like most stories like this one deserves is because I actually see potential in you. You used music, billboards, working monster with path nodes and some scripting. In short, you, unlike most people that create stories for a certain youtuber, friend etc, tried to create a story. It just failed.
Work alot more on the level design! You actually have a decent start, but there's too many texture glitches and lack of details. Maps are also too short in my opinion.
More and better scares! Naked guys that appears from nowhere = not a good idea!
More challange! You have nothing but key quests.
And a much longer story! This took me 5 minuts to complete.
Because you tried and didn't overuse lame jumpscares, here you go.
3/10 - Bad