Also known as "Marcusyaho" Action/horror gamer and level designer. I can help you with more or less any Amnesia scripting and Level editor problems. I'm also available if you need a map tester

Blog RSS Feed Report abuse Things people say I don't like

2 comments by ☣Kaernk☣ on May 30th, 2014

This is a list with a very simple principle, this is a list of things people say/do on the site, that I personally don't like.

1: How to download?

I get these questions over and over and over again on my mods. 95% of them are from "Guests". I am serously wondering if some people like to troll or if these people are being serious.

If you can't take a few seconds of your life to look around the page for a Download button and instead make a comment about it when the dam Download section is right above your comment, then you're probably not smart enough to play my mod anyway.

It's one thing if you tried to download it and it doesn't work, but if you really can't find the "Latest Downloads" which is located a few millimeter above you, then yeah, I would suggest you try something more simple because your IQ is probably not high enough.

2: Do I need the game to play the mods?

This is a question I don't see very often, but when I do it both annoys me and make me laugh my ass off at the same time by how dumb it is.

Isn't it obvious that you need the game to play mods for the game?! How do you think the mods are going to work if you don't have the game installed?

I mean, why would you even get the game to begin with if you could do that? We could just make a mod with the original maps and scripts and let everyone else without the game play the offical game...

3: People that don't read and then ask dumb questions

Like when people don't read the requirements and download the mod anyway, and when the mod doesn't work they ask dumb questions.

Requirements: Windows, Justine is required

Question: I downloaded it to my mac and it doesn't work. Why? :o

4: When people take screenshots which are either misleading or crap

Like taking pictures with their cameras on the screen while they are in the level editor, or google a random picture and use that to show us "their mod".

5: When people cancel their mods

I don't blame them for doing it. If something happens in real life, school, a family crisis or maybe you just lose your motivation, that's not your fault and I understand that. It is still a bit sad when you are waiting for a mod and suddenly you read a blog post that says it's not going to be finished.

Report abuse Amnesia story - cellar logic

3 comments by ☣Kaernk☣ on Mar 11th, 2014

This is a story I made up with one of the many Amnesia logics in mind. Cellars.

Ever noticed that more or less every story with a cellar have monstes in them? Well, I have.


Grunt: Sir, why are we waiting for the survivor here?

Brute: Grunt, you have been instructed not to question orders!

Grunt: Yes sir, but really, wouldn't it be more surprising to wait for him somewhere else? Maybe somewhere where he doesn't expect us to be?

Brute: Command, Grunt is questioning  orders again.


Suitor: Grunt, this is monster command, you are hereby prohibited from speaking until further notice
, do you copy?

Grunt: Copy that sir, I was just asking why we are waiting for the survivor in the cellar, it seems like a tactically dubious choice.


Suitor: That information is above your security clearance, furthermore you have been ordered not to speak, do you understand these orders?


Grunt: Yes sir, but what level of security clearance would I need?


Brute: Command this is Brute, requesting permission to summarily execute Grunt for insubordination.


Suitor: Permission granted, take him out!


*Brute kills Grunt*

Player: What the fu***? o_o

Report abuse Guide - How to make mods for immature players

7 comments by ☣Kaernk☣ on Mar 4th, 2014

THIS BLOG IS A JOKE! DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

Ever noticed that a lot of youtubers are extremly immature?

Ahaa...

Well, I got the perfect guide for you about how to make your mods appropriate for those immature let's players!


Step 1: Do not make ANYTHING interactable!

Youtubers always seem to give moveable objects names and will keep them through the story at all time. like "Hi mr chair!!". To avoid that, make everything static!

Step 2: Never make long notes

Do not make any notes longer than one line! AT MOST! And don't bother to make a story line. They will not give a shit about it anyway. If you want to add notes, only make one line with clues about how to solve puzzles. For example: "THE KEY IS ON THE BED!!!!"

Step 3: Don't make hard puzzles

ONLY make key quests or other very simple quests and make sure the door you need to unlock is marked very clearly and mementos and texts are given to the player. Also make sure the key is very easy to find at very obvious locations. ONLY give one item/quest at a time! If a quest is too hard, the let's player will most likely use random items on random objects because it is very confusing. For example, trying to use the same key over and over again on the same door, or trying to use a potion on windows.

Step 4: DO NOT MAKE COMPLICATED SCARES!

I can not stress this enough! Do not even try to make cool scares. Not even classic scares like footsteps, wind opening/closing doors or candles being unlit all of a sudden, it will make it very confusing. Only use lame scares, and make sure they can actually see what scared them so they don't run around in circles, trying to figure out what the main character though was so spooky.

Step 5: Do NOT use any monsters with a visible penis or ass! Or naked guys, for that matter.

"AHAHA DAT ASS!"   "PENIS HAHAHA"  and other aweful jokes/comments incoming if you use monsters or naked guys with a visible ass or penis.

Step 6: Linear gameplay

Make the maps linear. Don't make the immature player backtrack! Only make him move forward to the end of the castle so he can escape and "win" the custom story.


Do you have anything to add to this list? Leave comments down below! :P

Report abuse Things that annoys me

15 comments by ☣Kaernk☣ on Jan 23rd, 2014

Hey! I'm Kaernk aka Marc and this is a list of things here at moddb and to a certain extent Youtube which annoys me (or piss me off if you wish).

1: Mod arrogance. I can't stand people that are extremly arrogant. People which upload mods and, no matter what people think, say that their mod is better than every other mod on the site or even the world. I know some arrogant authors, one of them which think that his mod is the best one ever and argue with people that thinks the opposite.

Everyone doesn't think the same. Some people will hate what you do, some people will love it, that's how life works. Besides, who are you to tell us that anyway? You are trying to impress us, the players. We shouldn't have to treat you like a god because you created a mod you personally think is the best one ever, no, fuck you.

2: People that doesn't fucking read the dam information box or description! I know I said this in my previous blog post, but a guy just brought it up to a new level. He didn't read the information box at all, he just downloaded the mod without making sure his computer reach the minimum requirements. He then makes a 1/10 review because it didn't work and it was all my fault.

You know why it didn't work? Because he downloaded a mod for Windows to his Mac! Even though I never selected Mac as an option! *Clap* *Clap* *Clap*, congratulations! You won the reward as the dumbest moddb user of ths month! *Gives cookie*.

3: Youtubers that doesn't give a shit. They play a story, don't read one single note or memento and as soon as they get stuck they are like "wtf is this? This is stupid! I don't know what to do!" The dam note you just picked up and refused to read told you what to do!!!

And then he walks around for half an hour trying to figure out what to do. And then of course it's the authors fault for making it "so hard" even though he gave the player both notes, mementos and text lines!

It also annoys me when people make fun of stories. Like *pick up notes* blablabla no one caaares!!!

If you are a let's player and you actually care about the stories you play, good! Thank you! But if all you do is running around, not giving a shit about the story at all, add some super lame commentarys like "hello mr chair how are u? This mod is so stupid I unno what to do! Uuuuh I'm a fucking moron uuuh. Oh a grunt! Dat ass! Oh shit I died! Uuuuhh" And try to figure out a puzzle for 40 minutes even though the answer is right infront of you, chances are I dislike you.

Tell me what you guys think! Do you agree, do you disagree, do you want to add something? Go ahead and leave a comment.

Report abuse Stop blaming, start reading!

4 comments by ☣Kaernk☣ on Nov 1st, 2013

This blog post is dedicated to guests and users (mostly guests) that blame the author for everything and doesn't bother to read the description. If you don't want to read the information box or description, fine, but don't blame other people if the story/game doesn't work like it should.

"Where is download?"

It says in the information box on the right of every mod pag WHEN THE MOD WILL BE RELEASED!
There is also a "Latest downloads" box. Don't see a download there? Then that most likely means the mod is not finished yet, or the download is in a link in the description you don't bother to read.

"Mod is not working, fix it"

It was a guy at my Dark Case mod that blamed me when the mod wasn't working. He said he tried to play it on Mac. That's funny because I didn't select Mac! The information box also says which platforms the mod works on. I did not select Mac for a reason! It's not working on Mac! But he is right, it's still my fault. I should add a huge text at the start of the story that says "THIS STORY WON'T WORK FURTHER THAN THIS IF YOU ARE PLAYING ON ANY THE FOLLOWING PLATFORMS: Mac, PS3, Nintendo..."

"You noob! I hear male sounds!!!"

I gave people a chance to chose if they want to hear a female voice or a male voice in one of my stories. He did not even bother to install the female voice which takes just as long as installing the story, a few seconds. Then of course it's my fault when he hear male sounds...

"Your story is so full of bugs!!"

Turns out he is a pirate... I have no problems with pirates except when they blame other people when they don't pay for the game. Don't pay for the game? Fine, but don't blame us when it's not working like it should.

"Why is the story so short? :O"

Description: This is a short test story

I think that one explains itself -.-'

It's so annoying when you tell people what to expect and how to install it correctly but it's still your own fault when they don't read how to make it work.

Do you agree or disagree? Leave a comment.

Report abuse Looking for Voice Actors

0 comments by ☣Kaernk☣ on Oct 1st, 2013

I am looking for voice actors for my new custom story for Amnesia: The Dark Decent.
It's a story that will require several voice actors. I have a few, but I need more!


What do I need to know before I apply as a voice actor?


I need voice actors for characters in my custom story. A few voice actors must be males or females, while some of them doesn't matter. So both males and females may be voice actors for this story.

The story will be in several chapters so it will be longer than my other stories. It will take a while, so I want you to be ready to voice act, take a break and then voice act again when the next chapter is in progress.

No special dialects are required.

You can take your time, since I create the maps meanwhile. I will send you the missions at least a couple of days before I need the files.

What do I get by doing this?


Hopefully a good time, if you enjoy voice acting. But also credits on my map page and in the story credits. I can also include links to pages if you want to (Youtube, voice acting pages, etc).If you are into voice acting (with "into" I mean you want voice acting as a job) then I can also make a testimonial for you if you are a good actor.

Any requirements?

- You can speak English
- You are prepared to get missions several times and not just once. You will voice act for one chapter and then voice act for the next chapter when I need it and so on untill your character is no longer needed. (Not sure how many chapters it will be. Not too many though.)

- Your mic is at least medium quality (People can hear what you are saying, not a lot of background sounds)

How do I apply?

By simply leaving a comment or sending me a PM :)

Report abuse Amnesia Addons/Mods

0 comments by ☣Kaernk☣ on Sep 21st, 2013

Just a short blog about the Addons and Mods categories for Amnesia: The Dark Decent.

This is nothing that bothers me, but I'm wondering why people tell others to change to addons everytime they upload sound or other kind of mods at the "Mods" section.

Let's think for a moment. What does "Mods" stand for? It means "Modification". Sounds modifies the game, it changes something. Stories doesn't modifie anything, they "Add" something to the game, so they should technically be at "Addons". We mixed them up a long time ago and I don't see anything wrong about uploading stories at mods, I do that myself, but I wanted to make it clear what they really stand for so you don't have to tell other people to upload their mods at "Addons" because, as I said, they are technically not doing anything wrong.

Do you agree or disagree? Leave a comment.

Report abuse Guide for new mappers

2 comments by ☣Kaernk☣ on Aug 29th, 2013

I've notice that a lot of new mappers just doesn't spend much time on the storyline nor scares. They create their maps, say "You must escape the castle", add some silly naked guy jumpscares and that's it.

I created a steam guide for Amnesia mappers. It's based on my own and a majority of reviewers opnions here at moddb. I'm giving hints about how you build up an atmosphere, why you shouln't overuse jumpscares, tips about what kind of quests you can add and so on.

If you wanna take a look, here's the link to it:

Steamcommunity.com

Feel free to leave comments here or at the guide page what you think about it ;)

Report abuse Stop with the flying naked guys crap!

3 comments by ☣Kaernk☣ on Jul 2nd, 2013

The title says it all. Amnesia the dark decent is turning into shit. Not the game itself, the game is awesome and will always be, but the custom stories and the community in overall. Only 1 of 5 stories are actually good nowdays. This might be because making a good story takes a long time, but still, there's way too many noob stories being uploaded nowdays with pointless scares like "flying naked guys", no story line behind them and horrible level design.

If you are reading this and you are a mapper or want to become one...

1: Please stop using flying naked guys and other pointless scares! Like skulls and body parts spawning infront of your face or 100 monsters spawning just a feet ahead of you for no reason at all. They ruin the athmosphere and people are not afraid of those scares more than once (unless it's someone that is easily scared), they ruin all the fun with the gameplay and they will give you low scores on your story page.

2: Create a story! "You wake up in a castle you must get out before the monsters get you" is so overused and lame. Why are monsters trying to get you? Why did you wake up at an unfamiliar castle? Who kidnapped you and what is his/her motive? Or even better, create an unique story on your own without that cliche story as a base!

3: If you have no experience, please don't upload your work! I did not upload my first story for the simple reason that it sucked and I knew people would rate it low so I kept it for myself as a learning experience and worked on a better story once I had more experience and it was a sucess.

4: Be creative! Mess around with the level editor, let your fantasy flow! Just because everyone else is doing a certain way does not mean you have to do the same.

5: Don't be an arrogant kid! There are several mappers (no names given) that can't take critism and sometimes even can't take feedback unless it says "this is the best story ever :D", and the response to those comments can sometimes be unpolite as well for some god weird reason. Take what people say into consideration. You don't have to change everything people say, it's your story after all, but you should change errors if a majority of people say it's something wrong with the story. And don't ever use lame excuses like "I didn't see the errors" or "I'm just a kid". I know 12-13 year old kids with professional mapping skills. And didn't see the errors? If a map has 1000 texture glitches, how can you not see them? And if you actually didn't see them, don't use it as an excuse anyway, it's not professional at all.


What do you guys think? Am I right or wrong about this? Do you also think those stories are annoying or okey?

Report abuse Our pathetic online world

0 comments by ☣Kaernk☣ on Dec 20th, 2012

Different type of players



I have noticed during my years of online playing that our online world is actually  pathetic nowdays. One mistake, one word and you will be kicked or trolled as hell.

Some exampels:

1: No life nerds
What is the difference between a "player", "nerd" and a "no life nerd" to me? Well, a player is simply a player. Someone that is playing a few times a week or every day but he/she knows his/her limits. It can be a noob, medium good or elite player.
A nerd is someone that is playing games without really knowing his/her limits. Spending alot of time infront of the computer and dont have many other hobbys. Or someone that focus alot on just one game and want to win, win, win. Often the best teammates as long as you can catch up with them
A no life nerd is spending his whole life infront of the computer. Make one mistake and he will troll you badly.

One example of a no life nerd:

1; (No lifer) FUCK! You ruin the game!!!!
2: Lol, chill
1: Dont tell me to chill mother fucker!!
2: You have issues :l
1: FUCK OF!
2: *Team killing him*
1: AAAAGH!!!!
2: U mad? :P

2: People that are losing arguments
Alot of people I play with simply can't have a regular argument. They get mad becasue you killed them, blame it on the "lagg" and rage.

Exampel:

1: Fuck, stupid ping
2: Lame excuse
1: Check your ping! It was over 80
2: It's 40 :l. And lol! 80? My ping must be over 200 to lagg. Is your internet connection 10 years old?
1: I bet you are a 13 year old kid! Go back to your fucking team fortress 2!!!
2: Lol, you aren't able to continue the argument becasue you know you have nothing to come with so you call me a 13 year old kid. Classic!

3: People that simply can't lose a game
Ofcourse it's not fun to lose, but if you hate to lose, just leave. No need to teamkill all your teammates and then leave or vote for a restart. The voting will fail 95% of the times and it's possible to both kick you and vote for a restart once you are gone. It's not fun when people rage quit (leaving beasue he is failing or losing the game) but it's better to leave insteed of ruining the game for the other players.

I consider myself as a mix between a player and a nerd. I dont rage beasue someone is making a mistake, shit happens, but I do my best to win and hate when people are un-social and dont give a shit about teamwork. I mostly focus on 1-2 games (Left 4 dead 2, Amnesia) so I'm a elite in l4d2. But I know my limits and do other things with my life as well.

Thank you for reading! If you agree or disagree, please, tell me why in the comment section ;)