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Real life has been crazily busy as of late. I'm working full time as a crime reporter now, which is great in that I get to spend a lot of time working with local law enforcement, but crappy in that I'm constantly out covering every damn murder, car accident, theft or robbery that happens. It's damn tiring.

However, it's not all bad. I get to write a weekly column called "Geek Review" where I review movies and video games. Unfortunately, it isn't being posted online yet, otherwise I'd link it.

How've you been? I rarely come around these parts anymore. The forums just aren't the same.

Sent you an email at your AOL account. Get back to me as soon as you can.

I agree. A "Best Original Concept Award" would be a damn fine inclusion.

The Lies of Locke Lamora
Scott Lynch
Fantasy / Crime

Billed as a cross between Danny Ocean and Robin Hood, Locke Lamora is the leader of the Gentleman Bastards, a group of high-stakes thieves that are constantly stealing from the rich nobles of Camorr. However, these con jobs are a violation of the ancient truce between the Duke and the Capa Barsavi, the leader of all organized crime in the region. As Lamora begins the biggest heist of his career, his crew of criminals find themselves under increasing scrutiny as the criminal underworld comes under siege from a mysterious upstart looking to kill all of the competition--including the best thief in the city.

Though I'm only half-way through the novel, this is seriously some well written fantasy. The world is less "Lord of the Rings" and more Renaissance era with fantasy elements, focusing instead on human characters and how they interact in this alien but familiar society. The narrative switches between Lamora's upbringing--and the numerous times he caused anarchy as a mere child--and the Gentlemen Bastard's latest scam, which grows increasingly complicated by outside events as the novel goes on. Though the prose could definitely be livened up a bit more than it is, it reads a lot better than any of those thick, Robert Jordan bricks that line book store shelves.

If you are looking for something that bends the genres a bit, I highly recommend this, especially as a series of novels featuring the characters introduced here looks to be on the horizon.

I'm no longer with the staff, but if you resend me the script, I'd be happy to read through it.

Since I left, it seems like features have died, so I don't think there's much chance of things getting done for advertisement. If I chat with anyone that is still actively working on them, though, I'll bring it up.

I'm at work, boyo! I can't play Crackdown at work! Fool!

I'll try to meet up with you tonight to play. I've been pretty frantically busy the past few nights.

You need to get into the Call of Duty 4 beta like I did, so we can play that!

Did you even read the article? Perhaps you should stop huffing glue long enough to focus on the text, rather than slamming your head against the keyboard like a pure troll. The people arguing that mods shouldn't be judged harshly are the modders themselves, not I.

If you don't believe me, do feel free to educate yourself.

Mods shouldn't escape my wrath? Did you even read that article? Half of the modders on this site hated me for writing harsh reviews, not because I called them all wonderful.

But why am I even arguing with you? Telling me to go out and do some real journalism is the funniest thing I've heard all week. I'll tell that to my colleagues when I get to work. ;)

I announced my departure a while ago. They just decided to finally remove my dots.

Rumors of my death may be greatly exaggerated, however.

Hey, I just ran across a post by you on the Unofficial Tex Murphy boards.

Does that mean you're one of the faithful?

No worries, I got in touch with Scott and he helped me out.

Entity Hunter:

The flaw to your argument--which has a definite point that my column is the same kind of whining everyone else is doing when their mod is reviewed--is that you state we should be reviewing what the mod attempts to accomplish. So, because you were TRYING to make a zombie mod of epic proportions, we should call it the best thing since sliced bread when in fact it is awful to play and horrid to control? That's flimsy logic. The intentions of a mod, game, movie, anything are not the basis for review. What is there to review is the final complete project, sitting there as a whole, waiting to be digested. If it tastes like ****, well, it doesn't matter if you were trying to make fillet mignon. It still tastes like ****.

How close the final product comes to it's final goal is definitely worthy of consideration in a review, but if you kicked the ball and missed the goal, you don't win for getting "close."

Yes it does, but you have to shovel coal into it when it starts to slow down.

Man, I didn't realize I was so high up there.

I should post more Frosty-style "braghh braaagghh bitch bitch hate cannt spel" comments to give me the edge.

He may have been asking a different question, but it was still essentially on the same topic and therefore a waste of my--and everyone elses--time.

That said, yeah, it was probably a bit harsh. I'm feeling very confrontational today.

Just saw your signature. You're my goddamn hero. XD

I can't get on MSN while at work, Nancy Boy.

Otherwise, I was on MSN repeatedly all weekend and I didn't hear nothin' from no one but Stuffie, so MEH!

You can pick up a jewel case edition of Far-Cry for $10 at Compusa \ Wal-Mart \ Target, I believe. Well worth the money.

System Shock 2 was the first game where I truly and completely wanted to destroy the villian at the end.

When I foought my way into the heart of The Many, i literally had almost nothing by way of weapons left. I had used every bullet to my name trying to fight my way out and when I reached the core, I had only a couple of grenades, the laser rapier and the crystal shard.

It took me days to beat the core, savagely beating and clawing my way through it with the crystal, only to be dumped out in a sweaty heap to discover that the admittedly sinister A.I. had been manipulating me THIS WHOLE TIME.

Oh man, that was the best. I've never gone after someone with such vengeance.

True, it is pretty hypocritical on my part to react with an outburst to the criticism, but I'm honestly trying to ask modders what they would like from us, as opposed to just flinging curse words around. Very seldom, if ever, do the creators willingly enter into a dialog with me about my criticisms instead of just flaming me outright, whereas I'm trying to actively show people my side of the picture and how it doesn't seem to have a winning condition.

I suppose the juvenile "They started it" argument is my best line of defense here.

Promagnum: Actually, that game review lemming mentality was something I wanted to touch on, but didn't really feel further the point of this specific piece. I may revisit that in the future in another one of these columns, if people don't quickly grow tired of me bitching about game journalism.

Kat:

We typically don't like to alienate people from our community, if we can help it.

I also now have tons of games. Anything you feel like playing later on?

I can use one of my free two-day passes, if you feel like playing Crackdown, Gears of War, Lost Planet or Far Cry.

I really want to get that Earth Defense Force game. Too bad it isn't multiplayer at all. :(

Ever going to add me on Xbox Live, or am I not cool enough for your friends list?

Answer your phone there, skipper.

These media updates impress me every time.

Even if I did have Gold, the only multiplayer title I have is Crackdown.

Aside from that, I only have Dead Rising and a possibly soon to be sold Viva Pinata.

I didn't even know you had a 360.

Yeah, my name is JoeX111, though I don't have Gold.

I was around, where were you?

Ooohhhhh, I get it. :warning: