hessy

hi ladies. are you looking for the most kickass guy that ever lived? if so, look no further. you fucking found him!

a bit about me: i'm respectful, quiet, and i’m chivalrous as fuck. if i see a closed door in front of you, i'm just like, "oh shit i better open that fucking door.” i whisper sweet nothings. i buy presents for no fucking reason. i'll even buy you every season of your favourite TV show and then we can cuddle up in my bed and watch the fuck out of them on my huge TV! i'm the most considerate person you'll ever fucking meet. i’m so fucking awesome it will blow your socks off and guess what? i'll be there to rub your feet for you. that's right! i went to the physical therapist once and they taught me everything there is to know about rubbing shit out. what's that... you can’t cook? i don't even care. i’ll eat whatever burnt rubbish you can make, i’ll just drench that shit in barbecue sauce and tell you it tastes better than a kebab when you’re drunk EVERY FUCKING NIGHT! you’re just going to have to roofie me or juggle or some cool shit like that instead to get into my pants.

do you like movies? i fucking love them. we can watch the fuck out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, or go clubbing, or listen to music, or go shopping, or make out; or we can just talk about your feelings all fucking day. it's completely UP TO YOU! i’ll make any situation so fucking awesome you’ll want to post it as your facebook status!

live laugh love hehe ty <3